The Hero Challenge 006 – Lorraine Reguly
Welcome to another episode of The HERO Show. I am your host Richard Matthews, (@AKATheAlchemist) and you are listening to a special episode, Hero Challenge #06 with Lorraine Reguly – Rising from the Depths and Moving Forward through Writing & Entrepreneurship.
Lorraine Reguly is an English teacher who is now a freelance editor, blogger, author, and entrepreneur. Her life journey is motivational and inspirational. Lorraine offers 4 different services through her business, Wording Well, including writing/blogging, editing, and consulting/coaching/mentoring. She also helps others become published authors!
Here’s just a taste of what we talked about today:
- Rising from rock bottom despite all odds.
- Recovering from the relapse and the irony of a burst appendix.
- Reconnecting with her son and moving forward
- Openness allows us a connection with other people that offers them comfort and reassurance that their interests will be achieved.
- Perfectionism is the lowest standard you can hold yourself to.
- The best standard is being able to help or impact your clients.
- Get your assistants to take things off of your plate–to get things done.
- American and British English.
- Going the extra mile for clients to reassure them that they are taken care of
- Fighting for the preservation of the English language.
- Be the best communicator you can be.
- Saying “I get to…” instead of saying “I have to…”
The HERO Challenge
Today on the show, Lorraine Reguly challenged Elna Cain to be a guest on The HERO Show. Lorraine thinks that Elna is a fantastic interview because she started freelancing around the same time with Lorraine. Elna picked up Lorraine’s free E-Book and realized that they live in the same area, reached out to meet up and connected. Now, Elna and Lorraine meets at least once a month to talk shop.
Elna is a mom of twins, started a business, freelancing, editing, creating courses, and recently started websites. Now, Elna is focused on helping stay at home moms become entrepreneurs.
How To Stay Connected With Lorraine Reguly
Want to stay connected with Lorraine? Please check out their social profiles below.
Also, Lorraine mentioned a FREE resource on the show–How to Use Positive Affirmations to Improve Your Life. You can find that here.
Call To Adventure
Don’t forget you can stay connected to me and the show by subscribing now. Just text ALCHEMY to 444999. Or you put your email address in the box at the bottom of this page. You’ll get all sorts of cool gifts, be updated about our contests and polls, and get notified when we publish new episodes. With that… let’s get to listen to the episode…
The Webinar Alchemy Workshop: https://richardmatthews.me/fs/waw-slf/
Hello, and welcome back to The HERO Show.
My name is Richard Matthews, of course.
I’m on the line with Lorraine Reguly. Lorraine, are you there?
I am. How are you doing, Richard?
I’m so glad that I didn’t butcher the name
because I really thought I was going to.
So glad to have you here. Let me do a quick introduction for you.
And then we’ll get in and start talking about your story
and how you got to be here. So Lorraine is an English teacher who is now
a freelance editor, blogger, author, and entrepreneur
and your life journey is motivational and inspirational.
And I got a peek through the rest of your bio.
It does look like you have quite an interesting life journey to share today.
And you offer a couple of different services in your business,
your business is called Wording Well, and you do writing, blogging,
editing and coaching, consulting and mentoring.
And you also help people become published authors, which is pretty cool.
I was actually just this morning working on one of my next books. So…
That’s fun. So let me start with what you’re known for.
Now, why do people reach out to you? Why do they hire you?
What is it that they’re looking to get help with
when they call you up and say
“Hey, Lorraine, I want to work with you.”
So most people are authors or want to be authors,
and don’t really know what the next steps are in becoming a published author.
Because nowadays, anyone can put a book up on Amazon and sell it.
So that’s really cool that technology has allowed us to do that.
And I work with a lot of first-time authors.
Some of my authors, though, are, you know, repeat authors like Maxwell Ivey,
who you had a podcast with not too long ago.
I helped Max with his first book. And he ended up writing two more after that,
and I believe he’s working on his fourth now.
So that’s really exciting. But I am known for my English skills
and my editing skills. I love working with words, words are my passion.
I’ve been reading and writing ever since I was like, ‘yay high’
I mean five years old, six years old–really early in life.
‘And that passion has carried through my whole entire life.
And now I’m actually working, doing something I love doing,
which is helping others improving their words and helping them become authors.
I’m also known for helping other people in terms of living their best life
and overcoming any kind of obstacles they have, whether it’s trauma,
addiction, or abuse, any sort of, you know, heavy, heavy issues like that,
simply because I have had tumultuous life experience in those areas.
We can talk more about that if you like.
that’s actually a good segue into the next question, which is about your origin story.
Every hero has an origin story. It’s where you started to realize that you were different
that maybe you had superpowers. What is it that brought you to where you are today?
How did you get onto this entrepreneurial journey where you are both
helping people become authors and helping people overcome major obstacles in their past.
So I originally had a different view of my life when I was a teenager.
But when I was 14, and a virgin, I was raped.
And so that event devastated me to the point where it changed the course of my life.
And it’s been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs over the years.
Initially, I didn’t know how to cope.
I ended up quitting school and turning to drugs and drinking,
turning to food, turning to sleeping, anything to avoid feeling the emotional pain
and trauma of the event. my thoughts and my viewpoints,
and my belief system all changed. As a result, my views about love
and sex got really twisted. I didn’t have anybody to talk to,
or at least I didn’t feel as though I had anyone to talk to.
And this was, you know when I was a teenager way back in the 1980s.
So the society that we live in now is completely different
from how the world was back then. I mean, this was pre-internet,
almost pre computers. But yeah, there was no Facebook.
This was before everything. I didn’t really feel as though I could tell my mom
or even my friends, or any teachers or guidance counselors or anything.
I kept everything bottled up inside and try dealing with everything on my own
which was extremely difficult. And I fell into a severe depression. I tried to kill myself.
I went through a really dark period.
And because my views about love and sex were so changed.
I was brought up as a Catholic, and you save your virginity till you’re married
and taught all these kinds of things.
Well, I started thinking, if I give guys sex, maybe they’d stay and love me.
And that was my twisted 15-year old brain not understanding
the possible ramifications of what could happen.
With the drugs and the drinking, and everything else, I became promiscuous.
And that just pretty much led me to being used and abused even more.
So when I got an offer to make money for providing sexual favors,
I ended up doing that, and I got involved with prostitution.
So my life started out – my teenagehood, you know…
which led into my young adulthood,
was very different than what I had envisioned for myself.
I mean, a story like I went through at 16, like, I found out I was pregnant.
I ended up having an abortion. At 17, I found out I was pregnant again.
And I was dating a guy at the time, and like, I really had strong feelings for him,
I really loved him, I believed he loved me.
And so I, you know, My son,
I ended up keeping him and because, you know, here, in my mind,
he was created out of love.
And also there was another, there was a story that my mom had told me,
during my first pregnancy about a
would-be aunt of mine, someone my uncle was dating and
turned out, she had an abortion, and now she can’t have kids.
And then here, I was thinking, you know, oh, here I am, you know, pregnant again,
I can actually have a kid, maybe I should have it because, you know,
there’s a woman out there who wants kids so bad and can’t have them.
And I thought, you know, like, I’ve been given a second chance.
And so I ended up becoming a single mom at the age of 18.
And that was actually a really positive thing for me.
Because over the years, when I had depression so bad that I ended up having suicidal thoughts….
I never acted on them from that point forward,
because I didn’t want to leave my son without a mother.
Being a single mom – I was all he had, really.
And so my son has saved my lifetime and time again.
My desire to give him a better life caused me to go back to school,
finished my high school education. To go to university, it went for five years,
I obtained two degrees, I became high school math and English teacher.
And, you know, I really tried doing like the best I could for my son,
to give him a better life and a better future. And you know, as well as myself, of course.
So everything was going fairly well until I ended up quitting teaching.
And moving back to my hometown, I ended up back in the prostitution field,
and my son found out what I was doing.
So he pretty much disowned me, moved out, didn’t want to have any contact with me.
And that sent me into another downward spiral of depression.
And basically, I hit my rock bottom during the following year after he moved out.
And for 10 months of that year, I ended up smoking, crack, cocaine,
and having an addiction to that, which fortunately for me,
I was able to pull myself out of that, and change everything.
Because I realized like, that was it. That was my bottom.
I mean, I needed to get my shit together.
Basically, I needed to get my son back in my life,
I needed to get off the streets, off the drugs, I needed to make changes.
And so I did. And, oddly enough, once I started getting healthy,
my appendix burst and I ended up in the hospital.
I was literally dying. I was literally dying.
After all these years of having suicidal thoughts. It was like, I was actually dying.
I mean, I was in so much pain, physically.
Oh, my God, it was worse than childbirth. It was horrible.
Most pain I ever felt in my life.
And I realized, in those moments in the hospital that I didn’t want to die.
I especially didn’t want to die without saying goodbye to my son.
I had a lot to live for like it was like an eye-opening,
“a-ha” moment that you hear people talking about.
And that was my “a-ha” moment.
And so after I got out of the hospital, I ended up contacting my son.
I found out where he was working.
I called him at work, and we ended up reconnecting from there,
we rebuilt our relationship. And it was, you know, a dream come true at that point.
Having him back in my life, and moving forward, on a positive note,
for the first time in our lives, was, you know, something that was just absolutely incredible.
And at that point, I vowed to pursue my dreams of becoming a writer and an author.
And I ended up the following. In 2013, I ended up starting my website.
And a year later, I opened my business,
because during that first year, I ended up starting to freelance
getting paid to freelance. I started a freelance writing and editing business.
And I just added more services over the years: mentoring and coaching.
And then once I became an author, and I started
helping other people become authors,
I added the author’s assistant services to it.
So now I have four services that I offer at Wording Well.
And you know, for the first time in my life,
I’m actually happy, I have great relationships with the people around me
and a great relationship with my son now.
And he’s proud of me once again. So things are good.
And you know, I’m working, doing something I love doing.
So really, what more could a person ask for?
So you weren’t kidding, when you said it was a roller coaster of an origin story.
Everything from rape, and prostitution and suicide,
and having children and abortion all the way to connecting
and building, realizing that you have great gifts.
You have a spark of divinity to give this world and changing that around
into a business that serves other people. That’s, an inspiring story.
Thank you. And I just want to mention, too, that when I first started blogging,
I wrote about my experience with suicide and my attempt,
and I ended up getting over 500 people a day at one point.
For months, reading my story, and listening to the tips that I offered them
in terms of you know, helping them not kill themselves
and helping them get out of their depression and everything.
And I realized at that point, I needed to give them more.
And that’s what prompted me to write my book From Nope to Hope.
So that I could share more of the techniques and strategies
and things that I learned in my years of counseling,
and then afterward, as well.
To lead a healthier and happier life.
Because I mean, things just didn’t change overnight for me.
I had to work on myself. And I had to work to get out of the situations that I was in,
in order to move forward and live a happy life.
In my book From Nope to Hope, I also included like a built-in workbook,
that people can – at the end of each chapter – that has questions
and an area for people to actually write on
so that they can start applying what they’ve learned in that chapter
to their own life and start taking action immediately. S
o that they can, you know, start taking steps forward every day themselves
to make their lives a better life, like when they actually want to live.
Yeah, so what I want to talk about is your superpowers, right?
So a lot of the time on this show, we talk about the superpowers in your business
or your life and a lot of times superpowers you know,
if you’re looking at a superpower in like comic books,
generally, it’s either like something that was bestowed upon you,
or sometimes it’s something that you go
and you have to develop yourself.
Like if you look at the Batman comics,
whatever his superpower, so to speak,
he went and actually developed his skills.
And some of them, you know, like Spider-Man, were imbued with them.
And it seems to me like you have a life that allowed you to develop superpowers.
And I’m curious, at this point in your story,
if you look at your life, what would you say your superpowers are?
Actually, always throughout my whole entire life,
I have been the person that people come to
and talk to you about their problems, I have been the problem solver.
I have been the listener. So I think my superpower is my approachability
and willingness to help other people.
So like, people can confide in me with their deepest darkest secrets,
that they don’t feel comfortable telling other people,
you know, things like depression, suicidal thoughts, if they’re cutting themselves,
if they’re in an abusive relationship…
whatever issues that they’re facing that are not something
that they wouldn’t admit to just anyone.
And so I think my superpower is being that person
that they just know, they can turn to, that they can trust
that sincerely and genuinely wants to help them.
And how do you think that translates into the services
that you offer in your business when it comes to helping people
become authors and doing your mentoring and coaching?
Well, I’m very open about pretty much everything in my life.
Like, I’ve written so much online, that I don’t hide who I am.
And I think my openness allows me to connect with other people
on a level that offers them more comfort,
and reassurance that they’re going to be genuinely taken care of,
that their interests are, you know, their interests
and their desires are going to be realized and met.
You know, with helping other people become authors,
there’s a lot of different steps in the process,
they’re not difficult, but they can be very overwhelming,
because they have to be done in certain orders.
And I basically handhold people’s hands to get them there.
Going from one step to the next
and reminding them what they need to do as what I’m doing, you know,
I mean, especially for, being authors…
yes, most people will hire me to edit their books,
a lot of people will end up having me format their books
for both digital and print versions.
And there’s the cover creation process that needs to be taking place.
While most of this is happening because you don’t just make a cover overnight
and it’s perfect. I had a cover designer that I work with
that did my second book cover who it just turned out so great.
So now I recommend him to my clients
and several of my clients have used him.
His name is Robbie. He’s actually working with another one of my clients right now.
My current client right now. And so there’s a lot of authors who have to get
the ISBN numbers, they have to, you know, open their own KDP Amazon account,
and hook up their own bank account and fill up the taxation information,
all of this needs to be done before I can do the final proof of the print book.
So, it’s like a team effort and we work together so well.
My openness and willingness to help others to make it easy –
make the process easy for them to understand so that they’re not overwhelmed.
And they can get things done when they need to be done.
That carries over, you know, my superpower carries over into my business
just because of my genuine willingness to help others throughout every step of the way.
Yeah, that’s really awesome.
A lot of big projects, like getting a book done or
making a major change in your life in your business…
there’s a lot of things that have to happen.
And being able to know that map and really help someone go
all the way through every step is really crucial.
So I want to talk about the other side of that.
When it comes to your superpower, there’s the other side
which is the fatal flaw. And the fatal flaw is like,
Superman has kryptonite, and specifically in your business,
when it comes to growing your business, working with your clients,
doing marketing, lead generation, all this stuff that sort of
make a business go, what would you say one of your fatal flaws has been
in growing your business? And how have you learned to overcome that?
So someone else who might suffer from something similar?
I, for the longest time, suffered from perfectionism,
and it kept me from really pushing my business forward.
Right, you’re like reading my mind because that’s exactly what I was going to say.
I’m a perfectionist, Richard. I really want to hear actually,
some of your ways that you overcame it, because I have yet to do so.
How has perfected been holding you back? Before we get into that…
So perfection, everything. I mean, everything has to be perfect.
And it’s great when I’m working with clients,
because they love that about me.
I don’t stop working on their books until they’re perfect,
especially during the formatting process,
which can be a nightmare sometimes with the print version.
Because during the – I’m just going to briefly tell you what the problem is,
because a Word document has to be saved as a PDF document.
And when the PDF gets uploaded to KDP, to the Amazon KDP,
Kindle Direct Publishing, they do a conversion
and make it ready into a print-ready file for the print version of your book.
So there are two conversions that happen.
And sometimes the spacing of the words in the paragraphs,
the chapters get affected, and so they’re not perfect.
So then, I have to go back to the original document,
fix it so that when the two conversions happen, it is still going to be perfect.
When you’re working with a 272-page book,
which I just worked with a first-time author.
I had I ended up spending like, and this is no word of lie,
10 hours fixing this one file, it was a nightmare.
But anyway, I ended up getting it done. And in the end, it was perfect.
Perfectionism takes your time.
Yeah, so working with clients now, I mean, that’s fine.
But when it comes to blogging, or, you know, working on growing my business
and creating courses, which I’m in the works of – in the process of doing…
I find that it holds me back because I can’t wrap my head around
the idea of “done is better than perfect”.
For me, I can’t. A lot of bloggers will say that at least it’s done.
The article goes there, it’s been published, it might not be perfect, but you did it.
And for me, I can’t hit the publish button until it’s perfect.
Whether it’s a blog post on my website, or whether it’s
something to do with marketing efforts, or emails or anything like that.
I find that I don’t have the ability to let the perfectionism go.
Because it’s something I pride myself in,
which can hold me back because in like I said,
sometimes just getting it done is half the battle.
But I have to not only get it done, but it has to be perfect.
So I have higher standards for myself and if I don’t meet them,
I feel as though I’m a failure, which then, of course, brings on the whole
thoughts that and everything else – like Jesus Murphy – I thought I’ve overcome
all of these negative thoughts. You know, I mean, that was part of my whole
moving forward in life was using positive affirmations,
which is one of the strategies that I use to keep my mindset positive
and moving forward. So yeah, but with the perfectionism, I mean, Oh, my goodness.
So I have a couple of strategies that I think will help you because
it helped me. One of them is mindset.
The “Done is better than perfect” is like an almost, it’s an almost there,
but it’s something that you can push aside and say
“No, done isn’t better than perfect.” But the one that really helped me
was a friend of mine who recently actually told me that
perfectionism is the lowest standard you can hold yourself to,
because perfectionism isn’t real. Right?
Because you can’t reach perfection, and perfection for you is going to look different
than perfection for the person who’s going to consume your article
or for the person who’s going to consume your product.
To hold yourself to a standard that doesn’t exist is like holding yourself
to no standard at all. So the best standard is the standard
that helps your clients the best
and if you don’t hit “publish”, if you don’t ship the product,
if you don’t get in front of the stage of people,
whatever it is that you do, if you don’t do that thing,
then you have no standard to hold yourself to.
You haven’t held yourself to any standard at all.
Because perfection isn’t real.
It’s not a thing that you can actually hit. So anyways, the mental shift was,
for me, it was that perfectionism is the lowest standard I can hold myself to.
It’s not a high standard I’m trying to reach it’s like flipping it on its head.
So it’s sort of a rough mental shift to make.
But once you do, it really changes the way you think about it.
Because then you’re thinking about “What do I need to get shipped,
in order for me to make an impact my clients’ life?”
Maybe that’s hitting the publish button,
maybe that’s getting the book finished,
maybe that’s getting the ad going for your business.
So that’s the first one. And that was really helpful for me,
the second one was taking things off of my plate
and getting them on to an executive assistant, right?
At the end, when you finish an article, and you’re like,
“I can’t hit the publish button, because it’s not perfect.”
Give it to your assistant to publish. Cuz they’ll be like,
“Oh, it looks great”, and publish it for you.
And then it’s not in your hands. You didn’t do it. Right?
So having a team around you – as I’ve grown, my team –
I’ve become been able to let more and more go.
And then you start to realize that as you both outsource
different tasks and get things on to other people that they will get things done.
And you’ll review them afterward and be like,
“It’s maybe not the way that I would have done.”
It may not be the same path to get there that I would have done.
But it works, it does what I needed to do, and it actually helps grow my business.
So having a team help you get things accomplished
has really helped me get past holding myself back with perfectionism
because things are getting done on a regular basis instead of me
being afraid to hit the publish button, so to speak.
Yes, and I actually agree with you on that point.
Because I, at the beginning of 2019, I hired a Virtual Assistant
to handle my Twitter account. And I was a little apprehensive at first
because I’m like, “You have to pretend to be me,
you have to make sure that everything you write is perfectly edited and perfect.
Because in my head, there’s that perfectionism.
But anyway, she did really well and I was impressed with her writing skills.
And I thought, yeah, I could trust her to do this.
And she ended up over the course of like, four or five months,
she ended up growing my Twitter followers for me
by increasing them by like probably 1500 people,
like organic reach people not just random people
but people who are genuinely interested in the things that I’m sharing
when it comes to blogging and writing and editing
I was really impressed that I was able to let that part go
and just put everything all the respect possibility into the hands of someone else.
And so that was really cool.
And it helped me a lot. I think that you know, moving forward
I’m definitely going to have to hire someone to help me with other tasks in the future.
Because it’s just, there’s just too many I can’t do everything alone anymore.
Also, the things that scare you with the perfectionism, right?
Like when the articles done, just send it to your assistant and be like,
“Can you publish this for me? Because you look at that “Publish”
button and it scares you. Like, I don’t know if it’s perfect or not.
But you have someone else who will who can overcome that for you.
So it’s like cheating the system. Right?
Right. Right. Yeah. And it’s funny, because, you know,
I have like 50 something drafts in my website folder right now.
And they’re in various stages of completion.
Some are actually finished. But then I didn’t hit the publish button on the last one
because then I thought, “Oh, I want to put some of this information into my course.
And I want to rework this article, so that when my course comes out,
I can market my course on it.” And so I have all these different ideas,
but I’m thinking, people aren’t going to remember that four months from now
and maybe I should just hit it, put it out there, let it rank on Google in the meantime
and then come back to it and I can always edit and revise it later.
So I know, it’s, but in my head, it’s like, you know…
I have this like, No, I have to do it this way.
…someone who does editing for books, though, that’s a great mental personality to have.
Well, is it really?
Because you know, you want someone who’s a perfectionist.
Did you mean to have an Oxford comma here or…
Oh, yeah. And that’s, that’s another thing too.
I had to really learn the differences between American and British English.
Because, yes, the Oxford comma.
I mean, it’s funny, because, people over in the UK and Australia,
they have their own way of writing,
and sentence structure with commas and everything else.
Which is hilarious, because I’m from Canada, but yet I get paid in US dollars.
I generally write in US English. So it’s kind of strange, because
I’ll put the “U” in color, or in favorite. The Americans don’t, but the Brits do.
And the Australians do. So I’m constantly aware of who I’m communicating with
especially in emails. It’s like if I’m communicating with somebody over in the UK,
I will write the British in British English. And it just seems so clear to me,
because I’m not used to that. And I actually don’t agree with
some of the conventions that are used however, I follow their rules.
And, that’s that. But yeah, it’s definitely interesting.
Yeah, what I’m talking about next is your common enemy.
And this is something with your clients, right.
So when you bring a new client, or maybe a new author client…
think of “common enemy” as the thing that you would remove from their life
from their mindset from whatever it is, that’s holding them back
from getting things done, what they want to get done,
when you want to help them get done,
if you had like a magic wand, and you could just wave it over to your clients
as soon as they hired you that would help you get their product accomplished,
or their book finished 10 times faster, what would that be?
What’s the thing that’s holding your clients back?
Well, I think my clients generally come to me with their books already finished.
So that’s not the issue. Their issue is understanding the next phase,
which is making their book perfect in terms of fixing up all the grammatical errors.
If they have typos that they don’t realize.
And then checking my work to make sure that they’re happy with what I’ve done.
So putting the trust into me. Some of them, obviously,
they approached me because they’ve heard about me,
or someone’s recommended me, or they found me, and they read
all the testimonials on my website. And so they know that I’m fully capable.
It’s just actually working with me.
So what I generally do is, I find that I’m always reassuring them,
like, “Don’t worry, you’re in good hands, you don’t need to panic,
I’m going to help you through it.”
Because they’re always you know, like,
“Well, what do I do when I get to this step?”
I’m like, it’s okay, I got your back, like, “Relax, we’re going to do this together.”
And, like I said, the hand-holding process – through this every step of the way.
So if you can get them to just automatically trust that you’ll help them finish the process.
Yeah. To trust themselves that they don’t need to be so stressed out
that I will help them I will be there for them.
You know, like I you know, I just did my last email to my client last night.
I’m like, “I’m only an email away. If you have questions.”
Like this is, you know, another client, she’s like,
“Well, can I call you?” There’s something she wants to show me.
I’m like, “Yes, you can call me if that’s what’s going to take to make you feel better.”
“Yes, you can call.”
So it’s just going that extra mile from my clients
to make them feel reassured and comfortable that everything’s being taken care of.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
So the other side of a common enemy is the driving force.
It’s the thing that you fight for. Right?
So Spider-Man fights to save New York
Batman fights to save Gotham
Google fights to index all of the world’s information.
What is it that you fight for in your business?
I fight for the preservation of the English language.
Because you look on social media, and people are texting,
and they’re using the letter “U” instead of typing out Y-O-U.
And “U R” – the letters “U R” for “you’re” and then also
the mistakes that so many people make the “YOUR” versus the “YOU’RE”
like, your shirt, or “you are” like, you’re wearing a blue shirt today.
Your shirt is blue, like “you are” is YOU’RE, and “your” is like ownership.
It’s, you know, your shirt. So people get those confused all the time.
Same with their, they’re in there.
And it’s just like the grammar police all the time and trying to correct people.
And I learned to come across with a little bit more tact now.
And not make people feel bad about their mistakes,
but just try to teach them the proper way.
And do it in a way that, you know, hopefully, they’ll realize like,
“Oh, she’s only trying to help me, she’s not like mad at me about it.”
I feel the same way about the appropriation of words.
I have that I have this, this whole thing that I say all the time.
So like, like words mean things like they have definitions.
And those definitions are important.
We need to use them the way that they’re meant to be used.
So I totally agree with you on the whole preservation of the English language
because it’s what allows us to run our society and do the things we do
to communicate and build businesses
and help people is because we have a shared language and our language
like the words mean things, and I can say something here
and it means the same thing as it does somewhere else.
Or, to put it in economic terms, our language is fungible, right,
it’s, you know, a word means the same thing here as it does over there.
Right. And that’s really important, because, you know,
communication is, I think, the most important component of any type of relationship,
you need to know whether it’s a relationship with a spouse,
or a family member, or like, a relationship with a client,
or just a relationship on social media with a bunch of other people.
You know, we don’t all speak the same language.
You know, there’s people that know different languages,
but generally speaking, the people that we communicate with the most
speak our language, and so we need to be able to keep that intact,
and be the best communicators we can be.
So that we can continue to grow and move forward and be happy.
You know, it also avoids misunderstandings
and fights and everything else.
So, yeah, so communication is really important.
So, let’s move on a little bit and talk about your Hero’s Tool Belt.
Maybe you got a big magical hammer, like Thor,
or a bulletproof vest, like your neighborhood police officer.
Or maybe just really love how Evernote helps you organize your thoughts,
when you’re working with the client project,
what are some of the tools that you use
on an everyday basis to help you do the work you do for your clients.
So I use Microsoft Word because I use the “Track Changes” feature
to show my clients, the edits that I’m making to their books,
or to their words, you know, whether it’s a book or whether it’s a blog post,
because I also read a blog post for people.
So “Microsoft Word” is my number one.
Gmail is my number two. I love Gmail, because of all of its features.
I don’t think I really need to get into that because
I mean, everybody pretty much uses Gmail these days
Gmail these days is like the standard.
Right? But in keeping with the Google,
I think it’s, I’m not sure the exact name of it.
If it’s GSuite or whatever. But Google Docs is a tool
that’s free to use, just like Google Sheets, and, you know,
Google Slides for you know, instead of using
the Microsoft Office a package where you’ve got
the PowerPoint, and the Excel for, you know,
this Google Sheets used for the spreadsheet,
Google Slides is similar to Microsoft PowerPoint.
But Google Docs is something that I like.
It’s very similar to Word and it can do most things.
But the reason I like it is because it automatically saves changes.
So there are pros and cons to it. Like, if you’re editing something,
or if you’re actually just writing something or making notes.
So if you’re just making notes, that’s great.
I think Google Docs is great for that. It has a phone app,
you can set it to be used offline. So if you’re somewhere where there’s no internet,
you can still access it. It also has a speech-to-text feature.
So you can use your voice to take notes or to record something,
which I really love. And actually, Max is the one who got me using that type of technology
because I asked him how he writes so much.
And I never thought about dictating it.
And he’s like, well, I just dictate it.
You know, when I think of dictation, I think of this lawyer and the secretary
in the office where the lawyer is saying something
and the secretary is typing it up on the computer.
That’s such an old school visual of dictation.
So, you know, we’ve come so far since then,
and now I can just, you know, grab my phone.
If I want to make a note, I can.
If I don’t want to type it, I can just say it.
And I also enabled the speech-to-text function on my keyboard on my phone.
So I can just hit the little record button, and it’ll convert my words into text.
And then I’ll just go quickly and edit it if I need to.
…add a comma, or whatever, you do have to learn like a little…
a couple of little instructions to speak.
So like, if you want to start a new paragraph,
you say, “new paragraph”
if you want to put a comma, you say “comma”.
And if you don’t speak clearly, sometimes it will come out as karma.
So you have to kind of, you know, get your voice.
You know, but Google’s really good.
It’ll actually adapt to your voice, it will get to know your speaking patterns.
And, you know, so that’s something in my personal toolbox because I just love it so much.
And what I really like about Google Docs is that
you can also share your documents live with someone.
It’s like, I can hand it to an editor, and they can edit things in the same file.
We’re not passing documents back and forth, and email all the time
and try to figure out which version is the latest one,
it’s like, you have the latest one, and we’re all working on the same document.
Yes, that’s another really cool feature of either the Google Sheets
or whatever, you can have multiple people working on it
at the exact same time as well.
I remember one time, I created a spreadsheet,
and I had invited all these bloggers to post their favorite blog
with a link to that blog and say why they love that blog.
You could just see everybody’s working in their own little salad.
It’s just like, “Whoa, boom!” You see all this empty space
and then two minutes later, it’s like, filled right up,
and it’s just really cool that they have done that kind of stuff.
And then the sharing link too, you can just send a link to somebody and
it’s just almost similar to Dropbox.
I mean, that’s another really cool tool that a lot of people use.
I don’t use it a lot. But I mean, I have a Dropbox account,
but I don’t use it on a daily basis
but those three things are something I use on a daily basis.
And of course, all the social media apps, on my phone:
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.
I want to take a moment and talk a little bit about your own personal heroes.
Like Frodo had Gandalf, Luke had Obi-Wan,
Robert Kiyosaki and his rich dad…
who were some of your heroes?
Were they real-life mentors? Were they speakers or authors?
Were they peers who were just curious ahead of you?
and how important were they to what you’ve accomplished so far.
And in your case, some of the roller coaster journey you had to overcome
to get to where you are today.
So I think the first person that really had an impact on me, was one of my teachers,
what after I had quit school and had my son
I ended up going back to school, in a program for single mothers.
And the teacher that was in charge of my program,
was previously trained as a counselor,
and ended up choosing teaching as a second career.
And so, one day after, you know, she and I had been there for lunch
she’d gotten to know me, she approached me and asked me,
“What the heck happened to me.” And I just looked at her and she’s like,
I said, What are you talking about?
She’s like, “You’ve suffered some kind of abuse or something.”
And she just looked at me? And I said, “Yes.”
And I’m like, “How did you know?”
She’s like, “I could tell.” And that’s when she told me that she used to be a counselor.
And we ended up talking and I told her that “Yes, you know, I had been raped.”
and I hadn’t dealt with it and she’s like,
“Oh, Lorraine, you have to do this, like, you have to get counsel, you have to overcome it.”
And so it was with her help, that I ended up getting a referral.
I asked her if she would do it, because, you know, I knew her so well.
But she was my teacher, she wasn’t doing counseling anymore.
And so she became a mentor at that point.
And I became very close to her, I looked at her as like a second mother.
And on my graduation day, she ended up coming to my
private backyard barbecue graduation party that was
at my boyfriend’s house at the time. I mean, she really was like my second mom.
So she was my very first sort of mentor that made a huge impact on me,
simply because she urged me, I mean, not simply because there were a lot of reasons.
But she was the one who actually urged me to get into counseling,
which ended up making a huge difference in my life.
And the only other person that I really have for someone
that I look up to and admire is Maxwell Ivey.
And you know, Max, he’s known as The Blind Blogger,
he is such an inspiration to me, because of all he does.
And he’s blind. It’s like, “Oh, my God, you do so much. That’s impressive.”
But add in the fact that he’s blind and doing it.
It boggles my mind how talented and patient and skilled he is
and then looking at his personal journey, especially with weight loss
because weight loss is something I’ve struggled with my whole life.
And I mean, he ended up having the gastric bypass surgery
and went from like 512 pounds, down to 250.
In a matter of, I think it was three years or three to four years…
it was under four. I think it was three to four years.
He initially had to lose 80 pounds in order to get the surgery done.
And then the surgery helped him lose more, and then keep it off.
And so when he wrote his book, “It’s Not The Cookie, It’s The Bag.”
I can’t remember what the tagline is something about a weight loss guy
or a guide to weight loss success or something like that,
where he shares all of his, you know, techniques and strategies
that he used to lose and maintain his weight loss.
I just think, you know, like, that’s phenomenal in itself.
And anyone who’s ever tried to lose weight knows how impressive that is.
So I mean, that’s just one component of Max’s life.
And then, you know, the fact that he’s a blogger,
that he’s an author, that he’s a podcaster.
A business owner, he’s got a few different businesses – doing the Midway marketplace
where he brokers, the amusement park stuff,
then he does the personal coaching on his website.
Now he’s into the online media publicity because he’s been on so many podcasts.
And he gets other people on podcast,
like, on the right ones, you know, so if they have like,
a motivational story to tell, you know, they’ll send people like me,
he’ll send people like me your way. Because, you know, this is what you do. Right?
So he matches people up. He was doing that initially for free.
And I’m like, you can be a business and other people said that too.
So he’s now doing that as part of one of the services that he offers.
So the fact that he’s blind and does everything with screen reading technology
and the different other things… he just inspires me
and amazes me, and his podcast is called, “What’s Your Excuse?”
And it’s so perfect, because… Oh, my God, if Max can do what he does
as a blind person, what the hell is my excuse, as a sighted person?
Like, I have things way easier, because I can see.
Every time I get down on myself and I think I don’t want to do this…
like, you know what? Be grateful for everything. Like…
WWMD. What Would Max Do?
Yeah, it just reminds me, you know.
Every morning when I wake up, there’s that quote.
I don’t know who said it, but it’s like,
“This morning when I woke up, I opened to get my eyes.”
And I think, yes, because we take that for granted.
We take for granted so much. We take for granted that we could see
that we could walk, that we could do so many things, you know.
Like, I was in an accident several years back about 14 years ago, actually.
I almost lost my leg and I had to learn how to walk again.
And as part of my weight loss journey, I use walking as a form of exercise.
I think like, I don’t want to go for a walk.
Then, someone, I was listening to – one of the guys my son listens to
he’s like, “You get to walk.”
You need to change your mindset and say that you get to walk not like,
Oh, I have to exercise… like, no, I get to exercise.
So I get to walk, you know, I get to see, I need to be grateful.
And you know, a lot of other people need to be more conscious
of what they’re taking for granted, and what they should actually be grateful for, too.
So that’s another one of the things that I like to do –
help people become more mindful and more aware
of the gifts that they’ve been given and use them to their fullest potential.
There’s, there’s a couple of people that really helped change your life. Awesome.
Yeah. So those are the two people that I would put right up there on my list.
Yeah, I think I think we all have had our mentors are our heroes
that helped us become the people that we are.
And I think it’s powerful. It’s why we put the show together
to help showcase the power of getting up
and doing something right and offering your value to the world.
Because if Max didn’t have, that, if he wasn’t doing that,
he wouldn’t be that mentor for you. Right?
He wouldn’t be that hero for you. And who knows where you would be without it, right?
And same thing in my life, you know, if I wasn’t standing up
doing the things that I was doing? I don’t even know, the impact of my reach, right?
And you don’t know the impact of your reach either, right?
For every book that you’ve helped gotten published,
there’s probably someone out there who’s read one of those books,
and you’ve helped change their lives.
And you know, it was because of Max that I ended up publishing my first book.
I even wrote a blog post about it, like, how a blind man helped me publish
risky issues because I had told him that I was writing a book.
And he’s like, “Well, I want you to help me with my book.
And he’s like, Lorraine, I’m ready to get this book done. I’m ready to get it out there.”
I’m like, Max, I don’t even know if I know all the steps like
this is before I even published my first book way back when and I’m like,
“I don’t even know if I can do this.”
He’s like, “Yeah, you can do it. This is what you’re doing, like, get it done.”
Like, what are you waiting for? And I’m like, “Oh, yeah. Okay, I’ll do it.”
So I got it done. I pushed myself, I finished it.
I made sure I went through all the steps properly, the book turned out great.
And I was like, “Okay, thank you, Max, thank you for pushing me.”
And so he pushed me to publish my first book.
And then I was able to help him with his, and because he told so many people
how wonderful of a job I did, he started sending people my way.
And I ended up you know, helping, a lawyer with publishing.
…& helping other people. So now I’ve got a whole list of people
that I’ve helped publish their books, and it’s been an incredible journey.
So I have Max to thank for that, though.
Let’s, uh, let’s bring the interview home for our listeners
and talk about your guiding principles.
What are the top one or two principles or actions you use
on a daily basis that helps contribute to your success in your business,
maybe some of you wish you knew when you first started out this journey.
So I wish I knew about positive affirmations,
because that is probably my number one strategy or technique
that I use on a daily basis to help keep my mindset focused
and in the zone where it should be.
As someone who has struggled with depression, I often don’t want to get out of bed.
When I wake up, even now, even we know we’re all like,
reaching towards all my dreams and attaining them and everything else.
I say, when I wake up, I’m like, I want to just lay in bed,
I want to finish the movie I fell asleep watching…
I want to do something else and I immediately have to think like,
Okay, wipe those from your mind, you know, get up
drink your water. So now I drink whole bunch of water,
I keep a bottle by my bedside. A lot of people do this,
so that’s one of the things I start doing.
So that’s part of my routine – I drink water, I take my medication.
I end up having tea and reading my affirmations.
And that’s something that sets my mind. And I do that like within like,
right away of waking up. So I can get my mind in the right place it needs to be
so that I’m not, you know, laying there thinking,
“Oh, dwelling on this,” or “Oh, I feel like this or I feel like that.”
And, you know, like I had said today earlier before the podcast,
my stomach was a little upset. Last thing this morning.
And I said to you, I don’t really feel like a hero today.
And I was like, Wait a second, you know what, I can change that.
So I’ve learned to take the negative self-talk and immediately switch it over
to something positive. And I use positive affirmations to do that.
And Richard, one of the things that I’ve actually included in my book
is a chapter all about positive affirmations. And I’ve made that free on my website,
because I didn’t learn about positive affirmations until
probably about four or five years ago. And it wasn’t something I learned in counseling,
it was a strategy that I just came across online in my research and my studies.
And positive affirmations work so well.
And they work quickly, like in as little as a week, your mindset will start to change,
you will start noticing differences in your way of thinking
if you use positive affirmations on a daily basis.
So I always like to say positive affirmations are kind of my secret to happiness.
Yeah, exactly. That’s my secret right there.
And so I have an article called
“How to Use Positive Affirmations to Improve Your Life”
that talks about what positive affirmations are.
It talks about your mindset and how positive affirmations work on your mind. A
I talked about how I use them.
I talked about different samples of affirmations that you can have
for any area of your life. There are things like
you can copy part of the blog posts,
or you can even download the blog posts to your device.
There’s a worksheet as well. It’s all free.
Like I said all free on WordingWell.com. So if you google
Wording Well and Positive Affirmations that will pull it out.
We’ll be putting a link to it in the show notes for this episode.
Yeah, positive affirmations are one of those things I like to think of them
like one of my favorite analogies for the way your subconscious
and unconscious mind work was a book by Vince Poscente called The Ant and the Elephant.
He talks about your conscious mind being the ant,
and your subconscious mind being the elephant
and learning how to train the ant to like drive the elephant, right.
And positive affirmations are how you do that
they’re one of the techniques you can use to drive the elephant so to speak,
where you can control what your subconscious mind is doing and thinking.
And it’s that self-talk, whether that’s negative self-talk,
or positive self-talk, that impacts how the rest of all the power of your brain,
how it works, right, it’s going to feed off of what your conscious mind gives it.
And so those positive affirmations, believing that or not is irrelevant, because…
exactly. And that’s what a lot of people don’t realize, initially,
when you start using them, you don’t have to believe them,
you just have to say them, because the more you say them,
they will sink into your subconscious. And the more your subconscious gets of them,
it’ll start believing them. So it will change your conscious mind over time.
And you just like, oh, wow, like, this is amazing
so it makes your inner reality match your outer reality.
It does the same with visualization, which is another technique
that I like to use as well. It helps make your outer reality match your inner reality.
So if you believe that you’re going to be successful and you believe that you can do it,
your mind will fight and help you to take those actions to make it possible and come true.
It works like magic, almost really. I mean, that’s how powerful and magical they are like,
I just love them so much. And you know, it’s funny, because when I first heard about them,
I was like, really skeptical and thinking like, this sounds too good to be true.
And but no … I gave him a shot because I thought what do I have to lose? Right?
And I think your smile – after the life you’ve been through –
that you have right now is proof enough that they work?
Well. Thank you. Thank you,
you’re not the first person to compliment me on that
and I really appreciate hearing that. Thank you so much.
So what I want to do next…
one of the last things we do on the show all the time,
and you’re actually a result of this as well is called
The Hero Challenge. It is really easy.
Do you have someone in your life and your network
that you think has a really cool entrepreneurial journey
that they should come on and share their story here on The Hero Show?
Who are they? -first names are fine, and why do you think
they should come share their story on the hero show?
Elna Cain comes to mind. Because she and I pretty much started freelancing
and started our businesses around the same time.
think we got connected about a year afterward.
And Elna actually picked up my free eBook from my website
and noticed that I lived in Thunder Bay, Ontario.
And she contacted me through social media
through LinkedIn and said, “Hey, Lorraine I grabbed your ebook.
You live in Thunder Bay? So do I.”
And I’m like, “No way.” Out of the millions and billions of people in this world.
I get an email from you know, someone who’s in my city who found my ebook and read it.
We’re both freelancers. And I’m like, What are the odds?
Like that is astronomical. So we ended up connecting.
We, you know, we still get together and go to Starbucks every like month or so.
And we talk shop about freelancing and freelance writing,
which I’m actually no longer really doing.
Although I’m focusing more on the editing part.
But Elna and I, you know, I look at her and I think,
Holy smokes, this woman is amazing. She is a mom to twins.
At the time I met her they were twin toddlers, she started a business.
She was freelancing she was writing, she ended up creating a course…
she started a course. Now she has courses, like multiple courses
that she’s created over the years.
She has started a bunch of different websites, a bunch of different businesses,
like she’s just amazing at what she’s doing now online.
They always say don’t compare yourself, other people. Right?
But sometimes we can’t help it. We all look at somebody,
especially if they’re doing something similar to what we’re doing not exactly the same,
but similar. And we’ll think like, I just take a look at her
and I’m so proud of her for how far she’s come.
And how she helped so many other people now.
So what she does, is she helps moms, especially stay at home moms
become entrepreneurs to work from home.
I mean, because they’re moms they’re home anyway, right?
So she has a Facebook group called Mom to Mompreneur.
She has a website called Twins Mommy, where she –despite its name –
actually focuses on helping mothers become work at home mothers.
To go from stay at home mothers to work at home mothers
and start like a side hustle and just start making money
working from home because they’re home anyway.
So she’s super inspirational when it comes to that.
And she’s also got a great personality,
a great writer and, and she’s very modest and humble.
And I just love her to pieces, I think Elna Cain from Twins Mommy
is the person that should be on your podcast. So she’s one of my heroes.
We will reach out to her and see if we can get her to come on the show.
I don’t know if you see what we make…
little hero challenge videos. Did you get that?
Did mark, send it over to you?
Uh, I don’t think I did.
So it’s up somewhere, it might be on our YouTube channel.
But sometimes they get sent out. Either way.
We make little videos out of the little section there of why you think they should come on
and send it over two people. Anyway, thank you so much for coming on the show today.
Last thing I want to do is find out where can people find you
if they want to reach out have a book edited,
maybe pick up your books, or talk to you even if they’ve gone through some of
the same trials that you’ve gone through and they just want to
bend your ear a little bit… where can they reach out to you.
So WordingWell.com is my main website.
And it has a contact page where all of my social media links are listed,
as well as my email I prefer email or Facebook.
But if people prefer reaching out a different way, that’s fine,
whatever they’re comfortable with, I try and make myself accessible to everybody.
And you know, that’s why I’m like everywhere.
But yes, email or social media. And WordingWell.com
is where you can find all my information.
So last question, Who are the type of people that should reach out
if they’re looking to get their book edited? Like what’s the ideal client for you?
Anywhere from fiction to nonfiction, there are certain genres that I don’t edit.
Like, I don’t edit science fiction, and I don’t edit fantasy.
However, I will edit pretty much everything else.
Lots of people who just want to even start an E-book for their business,
I do a lot of nonfiction, you know, a lot of self-help or instructional manual type of books,
or just guide books. You know, like Max’s first one was, Leading You Out of the Darkness
Into the Light: A Blind Man’s Guide to Success.
Like, the 11 steps to entrepreneurial success.
And so, you know, I did another one for a trainer, who does coaching and training for
big corporations. He goes on and you know, so any kind of like, instructional self help stuff?
That stuff… I love doing that.
Should the book be done before they reach out to you?
Or can they be in the process? Where do you help them pick up on the journey.
So most people actually contact me once their book is done.
They contact me for editing. However, I do do some coaching
and some instructional stuff with people if they need help writing their book,
that’s not something I generally do but I can.
There are a lot of things on my website about that.
The self-publishing school is where a lot of people end up going as well.
So I simply don’t have the time to do everything.
So that’s why my ideal client is someone who’s already got their book finished.
But if they need help with getting their book done
a lot of people I know even for me when I was doing my second book,
I mean, I started it, and then I didn’t want to finish it.
And so a lot of people have started their works, and I need to finish it.
So if you need some help, you know, getting on that track,
just email me& reach out to me, I can definitely help you with that.
awesome, so it’s WordingWell.com.
And thank you so much, Lorraine, for coming on the show today.
It was excellent talking to you and getting to hear your story
and just see how much success you have achieved in your life
despite the difficult story that you’ve had to go through.
So it’s definitely inspiring coming on and sharing your story today.
Thank you so much for having me, Richard. I appreciate it.
Awesome. We will talk soon.
Okay, and I will email you all of those links so you can put them in the show notes.
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