Episode 034 – Ginger Johnson
Welcome to another episode of The HERO Show. I am your host Richard Matthews, (@AKATheAlchemist) and you are listening to episode #34 with Ginger Johnson – Connectivity with Intent, a Service Mindset, and True Meaning.
Ginger is a Connector, Speaker, Author, and Coach. She will energetically share her message and mission of Connectivity–the human to human kind; not the fiber optic kind.
Here’s just a taste of what we talked about today:
- The fundamentals of connectivity: the why and the how to.
- Everyone has the opportunity to connect.
- Be your own hero first.
- Connectivity is a super-highway of opportunity.
- The possibilities are endless if we remove labels on people.
- Silence isn’t always agreement.
- How do you stay connected to yourself and stay inspired?
- Giving so much energy forward is a superpower.
- Extrovert or Introvert. What matters more is one’s intention.
- Make the damn decision and move forward.
- Limiting beliefs. What you don’t feed will not survive.
- Perspective is what people pay for.
- Wanting to start a conversation is not about you. Ask about them.
- Connectors are interested and curious.
- The 7 Elements of Connectivity Framework
- POW Positive Objective and Willing
- Open-Ended Questions are QUEEN
The HERO Challenge
Today on the show, Ginger Johnson challenged Kenyada Turner to be a guest on The HERO Show. Ginger thinks that Kenyada is a fantastic interview because she is a firecracker! She is a remarkable person who makes positive change in lots of ways. Kenyada is effervescent, smart, funny, and always ready to grab a refreshment with somebody who wants to connect with her.
How To Stay Connected With Ginger Johnson
Want to stay connected with Ginger? Please check out her social profiles below.
Also, Ginger mentioned her book CONNECTIVITY CANON on the show. You can find that here.
Call To Adventure
Don’t forget you can stay connected to me and the show by subscribing now. Just text ALCHEMY to 444999. Or you put your email address in the box at the bottom of this page. You’ll get all sorts of cool gifts, be updated about our contests and polls, and get notified when we publish new episodes. With that… let’s get to listen to the episode…
The Webinar Alchemy Workshop: https://richardmatthews.me/fs/waw-slf/
Hello, welcome back to the HERO Show. Richard Matthews.
Here I am live on the line with Ginger. Ginger, are you there?
Awesome to have you here. And I am of course.
And for those of you who are regular watchers of the show, we travel full time.
And today our scenery here, we’re sitting atop a parking garage
Over Santa Barbara.
So, all these new different places where we host these episodes from.
Let me do a quick introduction for Ginger.
So, I’m looking at my notes here for you guys.
Here’s where I’m looking, is a connector speaker, trainer and coach.
And she says she’s going to energetically share her message
And mission of connectivity: the human to human kinds;
Not the fiber optic kind, which I think is great.
So, let’s start off same way I start up all these shows.
Ginger, tell us what it is that people come to you for now.
What’s your business about? Why do people come to you?
That’s such a great question, Richard. Why do people come to me?
As a connector, I am fascinated with how we get to know each other:
How we meet; how we are introduced; how we rub shoulders.
So, people come to me because the why and the how to
Are the fundamentals connectivity. So, the human to human kind
That interaction; that personal engagement is so critical.
And it’s so fascinating, Richard. As a traveler, you know this to be true, right?
It’s just so interesting. And if we let ourselves be open to it,
Everything is possible. So, people come to me because I teach the why
And the how to. The tactics of actually, how do I meet another person?
What do I do about that? I don’t want a network
That feels icky, or whatever. But they want to really have meaningful relationships.
So that’s why people come to me.
The speaking, the training and the coaching is our modalities,
If you will, of how I bring connectivity to the world.
I really like that too. Because connection is like I tell people all the time
That we’re a story born people. That we connect to each other with our stories.
And one of the things I tell my kids all the time,
Is the way that you tell the difference between an acquaintance,
A friend, and a best friend is how much of their story you know.
An acquaintance is someone whose name you might know,
But whose story you don’t.
And a friend might be someone who’s, you know, a little bit of their story.
And a best friend might be someone who you shared all of your stories together.
And the only way to get to know each other better is to create stories together.
Great definition. I like that.
That connection, you actually teach people the skills to go and do that.
And you mentioned, one of the things we travel all the time
So we’re constantly on the road. We move every two to three weeks,
Which means we’re in new places. And if we want to have friends,
Or have connection, in one of those places, we realize that we have to do it quick.
And we have to do it now because it might not be there tomorrow.
A lot of the people that are with us are are transient as well,
Or the people we meet at restaurants or at the beach or whatever.
So we make friends, and have people over for dinner
And stuff like that all the time. And it’s a compressed skill you learn
When you’re traveling, but it’s not something everyone has the opportunity to
Just practice all the time like we do. So, it’s cool that
It’s something that you actually help people with.
I do. And I would parry back and say it’s something that
Everybody has the opportunity to do. Because if you zoom out, Richard,
Like your kids. If they saw you only connecting with people,
When you felt like you, “had a lot of time,” that wouldn’t be real life;
That wouldn’t help you. So sometimes we have to kind of create this urgency
Of look: we don’t know how long this ride is. We don’t know how long it is.
We don’t know how short it is. We don’t know if I’m going to see you again.
We don’t know if I’m not going to see you again. So connectivity, to me,
Has the this amazingly wonderful sense of urgency to it.
If I don’t connect with you today, then what am I going to do it?
What’s more important than human to human connection? Nothing.
Because without it, we don’t do anything; we’re not inspired;
We’re not thrust into the opportunities, or we don’t create the opportunities
To think, “Okay, I’m going to go hang out with my friend, Richard.”
Well, what does that mean? That means everything that you just defined;
That we’ve shared together; that we want to share together;
That we want to create. So, if we have this sense of urgency
About really creating and developing those friendships,
Relationships that we want; life is so much richer.
And if you want to talk speed, it absolutely speeds that up.
But it doesn’t speed up life; it just enriches it.
Absolutely. And I like that thought too, about it being urgent all the time.
Because one of the things I was talking to my business partner
The other day about is that traveling didn’t make us
Have a sense of urgency.
It made us realize that sense of urgency that was already there.
And that’s sort of what were the differentiators is like.
Now you’re aware of it, because you have you have a feedback loop,
All the time, showing you that the people are leaving,
And they’re in and out of your life very quickly.
So you have a positive feedback loop that’s showing you that urgency.
And in everyday life, when you’re not doing something as crazy as we are.
You don’t have that type of a positive feedback loop showing it to you.
So you’re not always seeing your urgency.
That’s an interesting thought. And if we get into that mindset,
Because part of the idea of Hero, to me, because the Hero podcast
Is being your own hero first and looking around at your relationships,
Both the ones that you have, as well as the ones you want to create.
And taking a look at those and thinking how much am I investing
In those relationships, because that should be kind of an importance meter,
A thermometer of how much those people matter. Now, to be really clear,
This doesn’t mean that one person is worth more than another.
What it means is that how connected you feel to somebody is a meter
For how much time, effort, energy, and investment of yourself
You put into them. How much do you help them?
How willing are you to go get them at 3am at the airport?
And how willing are they to retrieve you? So, it’s a really interesting thing
To think about. In fact, I think we take so many of our connections
For granted, Richard. In some of my coaching the last couple years.
One of them in particular, who I follow in, I’m in their mastermind,
Brendan Bouchard. He says, look, you have three different kinds of friends.
So, along your acquaintances, good friends, friends, and best friends;
Closest friends. There are real ripples out.
Sometimes that’s hard and uncomfortable for us to look at that saying,
Well, that third ripple, they’re not as “important.”
Well, that’s not what we’re saying here. What we’re saying here is,
Who do you want to go deep with? Who do you want to build
A bridge with? A relationship with? Where there’s mutual enjoyment
And benefit and support and so forth. So, rethinking our relationships
In general, is something that many of us are loath to do
Because it feels judgmental. At the same time, it can be incredibly clarifying
And liberating, quite frankly.
That’s very true, and you have to really think about your relationships
And which ones you want to put the time and effort into
You’re not going to get anywhere with them. So my my next question for you
Is, how did you get into this phase? How did you get into being
A connector, and someone who speaks and coaches on that?
What was the entrepreneurial journey? How did you go from
Just a normal everyday lady to someone who’s doing this professionally.
I’m gonna correct you. I’m not a normal everyday anything. But, thanks.
Probably like a lot of your fabulous audience,
Which have done a variety of things. Middle school teacher, firefighter,
Breadmaker, hardware, all kinds of things. So how do I get into this…
A really fun middle school teacher?
I love middle school. They’re my people. I completely understand them.
You’re welcome. So, how do I get into this phase? That’s a great question.
I appreciate that question. So if you can imagine a field of prairie dogs,
pull it up in your mind. Their burrow is underground. That’s where they sleep
And they rest and so forth. They pop up when they’re ready to do something.
So they pop up. And they make all kinds of sound or whatever they do,
Prairie dogs are good at. And about two years ago, I found myself at a juncture.
I was restless and frustrated with what I was doing.
And I thought it’s up to me to change it. So, let’s change.
I am not afraid of change. I know it’s coming anyway. So, I’m embracing it.
So I hit this field of prairie dogs because I’m leaving something behind.
I don’t know what’s ahead, and I start paying attention.
And I would pop up out of the ground, so to speak, like, Oh, I’m gonna do this thing.
That’s the thing. And I’m gonna be all excited and all whipped up.
Eventually, I’d go back down underground, because I just didn’t have all the
It wasn’t quite there. And I pop back up again. And you can envision this,
Imagine this three or four times. Until, finally, probably about the fifth
Or sixth time. I stopped counting. I popped up like, Oh, my gosh,
It’s connectivity. And it’s always been connectivity.
And that totally lit my brain on fire. Because connectivity is…
It makes you come alive.
I’m actually a high energy person. But it really excites me, Richard,
Because it’s when we know how to connect on purpose,
With a purpose with the idea of serving somebody else;
That changes everything. And if you look at people making a difference
In this world, anybody—no matter what their formal position is;
Or what they “do;” what they don’t do. All are truly connected.
They’re truly plugged into what they’re doing and why they’re doing it.
Their why, their purpose, their vision. I’d ask you,
Why have you traveled so much? You could give me a fantastic answer
Because it’s all these things to you, you’re really connected to that.
Connectivity to me is this superhighway of opportunity.
And while we have our own lane forward, of this is this is where I want to go,
And this is where I’m driving. There’s all these other lanes that we can explore,
And move into, and move out of.
A pro bicycler said sometimes we’re converging and sometimes we’re diverging.
And that’s what I love about connectivity, because in the end,
We converge together, yet we can diverge and explore
And keep coming back and forth and so forth. So, connectivity
While it’s a word that’s common, or at least pretty well known.
Not a lot of people have an understanding of what it means to them.
My mission is to connect the world and help people look at their why.
Why are they doing what they’re doing? Why are they living a life through living?
And then how do you connect to the people on purpose with a service mindset,
Meaning you want to take care of other people in some way
That gets me out of bed, keeps me up at night does all those things.
So connectivity is really powerful. There’s not a lot of people talking about it
How I’m talking about it. So, I know I have a lot of work to do. And that’s okay.
Because I have experienced how this I see other people
Using what I’ve given them, and what they’re learning,
And what they want to know, I see how it changes lives.
And that’s, that’s pretty darn potent.
So, I have two questions for you. Based on a bunch of those things.
First one is how much do you think your previous experiences?
Being a middle school teacher, breadmaker, those kind of things,
Influenced your desire to really get into and understand connectivity?
And the second question is, who is your client?
Who do you end up working with the most often?
Are they other people who have jobs? Are they business professionals?
Or the other speakers, consultants? Professional business people?
Who’s your target market? So two questions for you on that.
Do you want me to go in a specific order?
Just pick either one.
So the first one, how did those other experiences enform
Where I’m at with connectivity?
What you’re doing now with connectivity?
Middle school students, for instance, are , most of us,
Most of the normal people, think that middle school students
Are, to put it nicely the worst. And you can handle them obviously.
So that experience, how did that enform what you’re doing now?
And some of the other things that you mentioned.
That’s a great question. I didn’t set out to teach Middle School.
And I was in a really tiny district, and I just wanted to teach.
I just wanted to do the thing. And so I subbed, and I got a middle school position
After a couple years of subbing, and I just fell in love with them.
And what I love about that age, which, by the way,
Nobody does want to go back to. Nobody raises their hand like,
I wanna go back to middle school. I mean, we’d rather go back to high school
Or something else, or get root canals. But the thing I love about middle school,
And how it enformed where I’m at now, is that middle schoolers are super open.
Now, some people are gonna push back on that.
They can push back all they want, I’m going to go forward.
Middle schoolers when given the chance, like anybody,
If they are given the trust and the opportunity to be themselves;
To figure out what they’re about; and have somebody support them in that.
That’s a true connection. Here’s a perfect story. So, every year, I had new classes,
I never had a discipline problem, Richard, and here’s why.
But I was in the same middle school. And I saw some of the kids year over year.
Every brand new class who came into the room every year,
Regardless if I know them or not, I started with the same opening.
I said welcome to art. I taught art so it was double crazy, it was great.
And I said, I’m going to treat you how you treat me. You get a clean slate
When you walk through these doors. I’m not judging you.
I don’t care who your siblings are; I don’t care what family you came from;
I’m going to give you a fresh start. And so I’m gonna treat you this way.
If you treat me this way, it’s going to be awesome.
So I never have discipline problem, because some people,
And middle schoolers are prime example. We label people,
And they bring that label with them, unfortunately.
They don’t want that label. But we leave that label on them, with sticky glue.
And if we get rid of seeing people with a label, with a definer,
Then everything’s possible, because all of a sudden that pressure
From that label falls away. Whether it’s the smart kid, or the smart kids sibling,
Or the rowdy kid, or the band geek, or the jock.
We pick whatever definer you want. I really connected with them, Richard,
Because they just so desperately wanted to be themselves.
And I realized that we all need that. So that’s been a huge enformer forward
For me. It was like, Look, just just drop the gloves, just let it unfold
And have a great time. And my principal, I was so lucky,
I had a great principal who supported me. So
That was another really strong connection, that’s been a huge enformer,
Of giving people a fair shake. And so that’s been hugely enformational.
My hardware experience, people want to build a life they love.
They want to be in a space they love. So hanging a picture on the wall—
It’s not just an aesthetic thing; it’s a wow, I can see pictures of my family thing.
Or the toilets working so I don’t have to worry about that.
These things that we don’t think about, to me,
Have an element of connectivity to them. So, all of those experiences,
Absolutely enformed. The 10 years of research I did on women and beer,
That’s a whole other conversation for another day. But that absolutely
Enforms me because people want to be heard.
Until we ask somebody a question that they have a story or an opinion on,
They’re silent, and silent isn’t agreement. Silence isn’t always a good thing.
To give people the opportunity to connect was one of my biggest takeaways
From doing the women and beer work. So, that’s the first question.
You have a lot of stuff in there. I think that nobody wants
To work with middle schoolers. That’s just because that’s the age
Where they all start puberty and go crazy.
So, good on you for working with them in that that time period.
I know I’ve got four kids that are going to go through here in the next few years.
We need to remember that, and I know it’s true. You are going crazy,
Your body’s changing, you can’t do anything about that.
So what you do is you learn to roll with it. You learn to figure out
How to move forward, because you’re moving forward anyway.
So just figure this stuff out and have a good sense of humor,
Humor is enormously important. And, and just keep connecting
With what really matters to you. And let the rest of the junk go.
And it’s such a strange time too, because everyone’s expecting you
To be grown up, but you’re not quite grown up yet. It’s just a hard period.
So, being a teacher in that space, I remember my middle school teacher,
They’re some of the best. I remember them really clearly
Because they had a lot of impact on your life. So, it’s an important thing.
Yes, if you give them the benefit of trusting; they will do anything for you.
That was a sweet spot I found too, Richard. They were still open
For the right person, they were still open for the person they trusted.
And so if you gave them that trust, if you gave them that safe space,
They would do anything for you. And they’re smart, I don’t have to tell you this.
They’re so smart. And people think they’re stupid, that makes me crazy.
That’s so unfair. That’s like older people, they’re not deaf, and they’re not stupid,
Just because they’re old, we’re all going to be there.
So let’s take a look forward at that crystal ball.
That’s one of the things that I’ve loved about traveling.
We have a lot of opportunities to meet with people will generation
Or two ahead of us because the traveling market is full of them.
And there’s just so much you can learn, and stories and other things
From people who are just far further in life than I am.
So, we always try to set aside time to meet and have lunch or have dinner
Or spend the evening talking with people, to your point making connections.
Why do you suppose so many older people travel?
Because, so I’ve discovered there’s two groups of people that travel.
So there’s the group of people who are traveling
Because they’ve reached retirement, they’re looking just to have freedom.
They worked their whole lives to get there. So, they’re doing it.
And they’re looking for connections, and friends,
And other people who are doing the same things as them.
And then the second group of people I’ve labeled the crazies.
And they’re the ones that have connection problems, I would assume.
Since that’s the topic. They don’t have kids or grandkids or anything like that.
And they’re not particularly nice. So I don’t know why they travel.
It’d be interesting to have some of those conversations, wouldn’t it?
Yeah. So, we’ve run into a number of people on both sides of that.
What’s funny is you’ll find some of the older generation who are grandparents
Will totally defend you, and defend your children and their right to play
And have a good time from the grouchy old folks who don’t want you to be around.
That’s good. I think the core of whatever group you’re part of, so to speak,
Or whatever you identify is that you’re connected to something.
And it’s your choice. Whether you want to be connected to silence
In the middle of the Nevada desert, or connected
With 15 family members doesn’t matter. We just all want to feel
That worth, that purpose, that vision, that connectivity is ours to claim
And it’s pretty precious. So it’s a it’s an interesting world out there.
And we have all kinds of people in it,
Whether it takes them all or not, I don’t know. But we’ve got them.
So, other question is who hires you?
That’s a great question. Thank you. Three magic words.
Who hires me? People who hire me are the ones who are looking
For a few things. For example, in three weeks, I will be speaking
At a community college conference, super excited to do that.
And they’re bringing me in because they want a little jolt to the inspiration.
Now, I don’t call myself a motivational speaker, Richard.
In the end, people are going to call me what they’re going to call me, that’s fine.
They recognize that connectivity is a huge part of inspiration.
Here’s what I mean. They are in the trenches every day.
They meet new students; they meet administrators; faculty;
Each other; all these things. And they are the front line for that college.
These are the people who are in the registrar’s office and so forth.
They’re seeing lots and lots of people, dozens,
If not hundreds of people every day. How do you stay inspired?
How do you feel like you are connecting with all of them?
When sometimes it is just one person right after the other?
And fundamentally, what’s most important here is,
How do you stay connected to yourself? How do keep yourself inspired?
The people who bring me in that case, they see that there’s something
To this connectivity stuff. Frankly, a lot of people can’t define it.
And that’s okay, I can help them. Help them take a look.
What does it mean to be connected? I generally don’t start with the why
For most people. Some people see that and want it right away.
To learn your purpose and your own vision. Your why is what I call it.
To know what drives you forward. Why are these professionals
In the community college space? They could be anywhere.
They’re smart people; they’re capable. They’re choosing this on purpose.
People will bring me in, have a specific purpose on wanting
To know more about connectivity. Skills is a huge part of it.
I teach tactics. The how to; the roadmap, as it were
For a traveler like yourself, is really important.
Because if you don’t know where you’re going; you’re just going to wander.
And wandering’s okay, but wandering is still wandering.
And if you want some focus, if you want some specificity, to strategy and tactics
Of how to connect with people, starting with why you’re there in the first place,
I absolutely do that. Workshops, recently doing one with a paramilitary organization
Here in town. And that paramilitary is fire, police, those kinds of great people
Who have helped keep us safe. They wanted to add some interpersonal skills
With their technical skills. Great idea. Because we can throw hose,
We can run the fire trucks, we can get in the cop car, whatever it is all day long.
But unless we can communicate with each other interpersonally,
Then we’re going to run into some some serious challenges.
So, interpersonal skills is another one that people see there’s connectivity to,
And that’s absolutely true. When it boils down to it, I got a framework,
The seven elements of connectivity. And people can plug themselves
Into that framework where they fit. This is not a one size fits all,
It never does. But it’s like building house. You’ve got to have a structure
To build from there. So, that framework is what all my work is based on.
And depending on who is coming to me for help we look
At what piece of that framework they want. The local library is hiring me
In a few months to come in and talk about the customer experience.
So, people who are very customer facing—real estate agents, retailers, MLM,
People who have a direct sales focus, they will come and ask
For the skills again, the interpersonal: how do I meet somebody?
How do I “network”? I mean, connecting isn’t networking.
We’ll talk about that another time. But how to develop those relationships
Because their business relies on it.
You have a wide swath of people that reach out
And be those kind of things, which is really interesting.
So basically, anyone? I’d say anyone, but the reality is probably everyone
Who has some sort of do you connect with other people in your business.
What I have found is the common denominator, Richard.
It’s not an industry. It’s not a profession. It’s mindset, truly.
When you are in a space where you know that you want to create
And develop relationships that matter. I’m the person.
That’s my personal challenge, actually, where do I go to serve
Because I love my work, and I want to do lots of it.
And I want to help a lot of people. While I don’t just work with this kind
Of person, or this kind of profession, it’s really the human condition.
So it’s a little bit of a challenge on my end, I knew it would be.
What I do is, as I take a group at a time I find out what’s going on for them.
Who do I really want to serve? I would love to serve middle school teachers.
So the education and so forth. It’s so powerful,
Not there to load up more on their plate, because I remember as a teacher
Was here’s another program. Here’s another program. Here’s another principle.
Hang on a second, where the parents in all this? And if you’re putting
Something on; I gotta take something off. No, it’s the helping people
Just learn fundamental skills to get into, and with, and move forward
With their everyday operations. Feeling more confident, and more competent
With the relationships they have.
My next question for you is pretty simple. It’s your superpower.
If you said, if you could nail down the one thing that you really do
For your clients or for the organizations that you work with
And label it as a superpower, what would you say that is?
I do have a pretty amazing laugh. People can hear me across the room,
They’ll tell me they hear me before they see me.
I think my superpower is the ability to give so much energy forward.
It’s the number one comment and compliment I get.
Ginger, you have so much energy. I used to think
That was kind of pithy, Richard, but I don’t believe that anymore.
I know that when people come into a room. Engage in a conversation.
Whatever that looks like, they want to be energized.
They’re looking for some inspiration. They’re looking for somebody
Who can feed that energy. And that is one thing that I think I’m really good at.
I love it. It’s natural for me. Now I do you need to reload my own energy.
But what I know how to do that, and so
Even in your photos. The picture you have in your bio.
You can you can see the energy in the picture.
Thank you. It’s fun. It’s incredibly rewarding to be able to give that,
And if that makes a difference in somebody’s day,
Again, to me it’s not pithy, it’s very real. Because when I meet somebody
Who I get something from, that just shifted everything.
And this is not the universe. If you’re paying attention,
There are people like this everywhere. How they give it out, is different.
Mine is kind of a full on fire hose.
Energy gets people. People pay attention. When you have energy
People pay attention. And when people pay attention,
Your message gets across. It’s a medium of exchange.
So it’s definitely not peppy. It’s a it’s a powerful thing to have energy.
And it’s one of the things that those of us who are not naturally energetic.
I’m naturally an introvert, and I had to train myself to be an extrovert.
You have to learn to have energy, and go through, and teach yourself skills
For having energy, and sometimes even practice over acting, so to speak.
So people are engaging and connecting with you.
And if you’ve ever spoken on stage or spoken on radio or anything.
You have to have extra energy to speak to the person
At the back of the room. And they have to see you the same way
As the person who’s sitting right next to you.
It’s definitely it’s a it’s a powerful skill.
You’re right. It’s energy management. I like that.
I’m gonna use that somewhere else.
I’ll say, Richard said, its energy management. It’s true.
And regardless of your birth status, by the way. I recently recorded a video
On that, and some people will, you’re not saying this,
But some people will lean on the whole, well, I’m an introvert.
What do I do about that? Okay, that’s great. You know what,
It doesn’t matter what your birth status is. What matters is your intention.
If you’re going to, spend that kind of force, that extra energy.
Sometimes, we all have to tap into that. There’s no doubt about it.
Like, I get tired, too, but it’s not. There’s a lot more to unpack.
We’ll talk about that another time. But everybody can be a connector
Because we all have our own way of sharing energy forward that –
What we need to be aware of what – what do I feel the best at
What do I feel the most confident at? How do I do that thing,
In connecting in my own life with who I am?
That’s one of those things that I’ve always felt the whole introvert, extrovert
Is used as a cop out a lot for people. And the realization
That really helped me was the idea that someone who is introverted
Versus extroverted naturally means that where they get their recharge from
Like extroverted people go out and they spend time with people
And they get recharged. And introverted people, they go out and
Spend time with people, they get discharged,
And they have to go home and rest and recuperate.
But neither of those mean that you can’t have a lot of energy
And connection and passion when you’re with people.
So you can get even as an introvert, you can have all the energy
And the passion of all if you’re on stage or in a networking event or
Going to your kids baseball thing doesn’t matter what it is.
You plan time to recharge later.
I think there’s an interesting, I’ve heard that definition a few places.
And I respectfully, that’s not my definition.
Everybody’s got their own. I am very outwardly energetic,
Whatever that makes me birth status. I don’t care.
But I need lots of time by myself. I need to read. I need to sleep a lot.
I need to cook. I want to do these things. Because that helps me
Do I get buzzed by being with a lot of other people.
Yeah, if it’s people I want to be around sometimes.
For me, that’s even exhausting. But I think more important
To take a look at, Okay, what makes you humm,
What’s your why? And then figure out where you give your precious time,
Whether it’s yourself, someone else, and however that affects you.
That’s, -having the wherewithal to be really tuned into that,
That is a really amazing skill that, there’s a lot of people
Much better at it than I am. And I learned as a connector,
I’m getting really, really focused on where do I invest that time and energy?
And who am I giving it to? Because I want to, and who am I?
Who am I not giving it to because it’s not going to be productive?
And productive isn’t like a sales thing? It’s, it’s not going anywhere?
So if it’s not going anywhere, why are you doing it?
Give yourself to permission in my in my book, the Canon?
I’ve got a chapter on permission slips, because sometimes
We don’t let ourselves off the hook enough. And take
I call that permission to play.
Okay. You can probably call it lots of things. But like
Giving yourself permission first, where you go out is really important.
And that’s something that I don’t think we’re talking about enough.
So, in that vein of thinking, I’m going to do our own conversation,
But if I podcasts I can do that. I mentioned you like to recharge by cooking,
And I like cooking too. I’m curious what kind of what kind of stuff you like to cook.
Oh, wow, great question. Well, then you’re going to definitely
Have to come up here on your way, way north in your travels.
So you’re welcome. Come and I’ll cook for you.
So my husband I do a lot of dinner parties. One thing I’ve been doing what –
Well, one thing I do a lot of is I do a lot of canning and preserving.
We picked 145 pounds of cherries this year.
We make maraschino cherries. We’ve frozen a ton, well not a ton but 100 pounds.
I’m a from the hip cooker, meaning what do I have in the larder?
What’s fresh? What’s available? What am I pulling on my own garden
And cooking in the moment, I like books as an inspiration.
And I appreciate the chemistry. But don’t make me be a baker, Richard
Because there’s way too much like fine, I do it this way and watch for this temperature.
Now, what do you like to cook?
So you sound like – You’d be a lot like my wife. my wife loves to –
Her favorite thing in the world is to find all the stuff that we have
And make stuff out of it. So you and her will get along great.
And like just this, we went out to blueberry farm and got like,
I don’t know, three or four pounds of blueberries.
And she made blueberry jam. And we made blueberry cookies
And blueberry muffins, blueberry buckle and a few other things.
Anyways, she likes to get stuff in and make up whatever
You can make out of it. I’m more on the I like to cook things
That are ridiculously good. So my wife, for instance, doesn’t let me do
The grocery shopping. Because if I do the grocery shopping
We’ll spend $1,000 for four meals.
When I cook, my wife loves it, when I cook, I’ll spend three hours
Making dinner. And it’s like, I’ll spend an hour roasting garlic and,
Basting it with oils and spices and whatnot. And, maybe
Brown butter ruse for my sauces. And, I just I have an obscene level
Of patience when it comes to cooking. My wife is like,
I cook because I want to eat food. And which means like,
By the time she’s gotten to cooking, she’s already hungry.
So she wants to cook it and eat it. And I’m like, I want to make
Something really delicious. And I don’t care how long it takes.
Anyway, that’s sort of how I am with cooking.
That’s great. And I’m seeing level of patience.
I’m remembering that I do want some things but I need to pre meditate sometimes.
And like for I have one of those type A personalities where I like
To have all my ducks in a row. So like the Mise en Place in cooking is just,
It’s my happy place. I love, I will spend half an hour chopping and cutting
Vegetables and putting them all in their own little jars and like
… Having it all ready to go.
Which just drives my wife bonkers because she is the kind of person who’s –
She’s making soup and she’s like, gets to the point where
She’s putting the vegetables in it. She’s like, “Oh crap, I forgot the carrots,”
Pull them out of the, the refrigerator, chop them all up
While it’s on the stove. And like, that would just drive me nuts. I couldn’t handle that.
So are you in the kitchen at different times? Is that it?
We’re either in the kitchen at different times. Or we actually
We’re pretty well together because I’ll do all the Mise en Place,
And then she’ll cook and then she’s like, “Oh, man, like everything.
I’ve got everything ready.” It’s great. So we work together well
In the kitchen that way. But anyways, that’s that’s one of –
To our point we were talking about this one of the things that
My wife and I both like to do for recharging is we’ll spend time cooking
And having a good time and it’s a play thing for us.
We cook and have a good time with that. So next question
Other side of the superpower is the fatal flaw, right?
All of the heroes have a fatal flaw whether that’s Superman and his kryptonite,
Or Batman who’s not actually super? What would you say
You have in your life that’s held your business back? And more importantly,
What have you done to help sort of overcome that?
So anyone else who might be, who suffer from something similar
Can learn from your mistake or mistakes? Depending on how many you’ve got?
I have never been asked for a fatal flaw. I think that’s
A really interesting question. I actually discourage people
From answering, “What’s your biggest weakness?’ Because I don’t think
We should focus on it. However, this is an interesting thing.
I would say that what I can teach somebody to avoid is to
Not waste time thinking about making the decision.
Make the damn decision and move forward. Right.
So with my Women Enjoying Beer, for example, full on full fledge business,
My first book was based on the research I did for that,
And it’s completely legit still viable business. I don’t pursue it
Actively anymore. But I, if I would have pushed away my button.
I would figure out why I felt stalled out much earlier.
And what I would do specifically in that is I would hire a coach,
I would ask my friends. I would ask valued associates. I would ask connections
Who I trusted who I knew would tell it to me straight and say,
“Okay, I’m feeling this way.” This is what I’ve done.
This is what I think is going on. Who do you recommend that
I get in touch with and see if they’re a good fit?
I’ve learned in the last four or five years of my life, Richard
Wwith the benefit of hiring different coaches, and five or six
Different programs, all kinds of makes and models. If any of your listeners
Have questions on this, I’m happy to answer some of those.
Because a coach helps you learn in three hours
What you would take three years to learn, by yourself,
… figure out your own.
There’s a reason why it’s a massive industry. And you got to be careful
And pick a coach wisely. Don’t just take it on the word of somebody that you like,
Or a friend or I mean, don’t mess around with Yelp or anything like that.
This is an extremely personal decision. So you need to do your diligence
And find somebody who can help support you. And that is,
Whether it’s a one time discovery session or a year long program,
Or mastermind, whatever it is. So I would go back and say,
“All right, I’m spinning my wheels, and I’m spinning them more and more,
What is going on, and I would figure that out.” So I’m an impatient person.
I didn’t have the example of somebody like that
I was close to who had a coach. And maybe they did, but I just didn’t know it.
But now that I know that there’s this incredible community
Of all these just massively different coaches, all makes
And models size, shapes, colors, you name it, like,
“Wow, I am never not going to have a coach.” So a superpower
That you, a super flaw kind of an issue, if you’re stuck on something,
Find some help. And don’t wait.
I really love that, because it’s something that I think a lot of us struggle with.
I use the word flaw because I think we should focus on our flaws.
But because we all have things we struggle with. And it’s interesting
To see other people who are successful and realize that
Once you’ve gotten to a certain place – we all had to climb the mountain.
We had to do the work. And it’s not always easy.
And we have things we have to get over and figure out.
And so hearing from other people, I think it’s really a it’s a benefit to those
Of us who are on that journey still to see where where the problems are.
So that one that you said something earlier, “Make the damn decision.”
And that is such a – I don’t remember where specifically,
I remember learning that. But I remember it was something along the lines
Of that one of my favorite quotes is, “Money loves speed, wealth loves time.”
And if you’re building a business, one of the key things if you need
To get money in the door is learn how to make decisions
Because money loves speed, right. And if you don’t have speed,
You’re not going to have cash flow. You’re not going to have
The stuff that’s gonna bring money in the door. And, the other side of that,
It’s never going to generate wealth. So wealth is going to be the stuff
That you take time and you build and you build something that’s gonna last,
But cash flow is the thing that’s gonna it’s gonna be the heartbeat
That makes your business go. So you have to know how to do both
Of those things, how to take time and how to build something
That’s gonna last but you also have to know how to make decisions
And move quickly. And anyways, it’s a powerful thing.
And I don’t know how to teach people how to do that.
It’s just something you stood up to bite the bullet and realize that
The vast majority of the time the things that you’re vacillating on,
They’re either way, whatever decision you make is not the end of the world.
You’re not going to cause the apocalypse. The worst possible situation
Is something that you could come back from revelrie.
Right, you make your own apocalypse. That’s the word.
If you don’t make a decision, you get stalled on this
Paralysis by analysis baloney. A good friend of mine, Bri Seeley,
Who is an amazing coach. She and I were talking in fact,
I tapped in her and I’m like Bri, I need some help from you.
She’s said “Sure enough friend.” And one of her things is she says,
“Look, you know, some people look at hiring coaches a risk,
I get that at the same time, we’re looking at the wrong thing.
We’re looking at, “Oh, what if I spend this money and it doesn’t work?”
That’s not what we’re talking about here, Richard.
Because the bigger risk is if we don’t invest in ourselves.
We want to be in the same place in a month, in a year in eight years.
You want to look back at that and say, “Oh, yeah, no, I’m fine,”
We’ll find is a four letter word. So your money, loves speed,
The wealth loves time, I love that,. I’m going to use that one too.
Because if you are trying to get the speed, then guess what,
There are lots of ways to do it, you can still work for somebody else
You can even do whatever that takes to support Marie Forleo
Was brilliant about it, too. She says,
“For seven years, I worked part time jobs because
I knew my dream was ahead of me. And that was part of it.
It wasn’t divorced from it. It was part of it that helped me
Build to where I am now.” And I that for me was a real;
Okay, there’s no shame, here’s no embarrassment, there’s no anything,
just saying, “Look, I have my dream, and I’m bringing it to life at
whatever speed I can bring it to life. And in the meantime,
I’m also doing this thing, because that buys the groceries that –
Puts the electricity on so forth. I think it’s great.
Whatever your equation is but make the decision?
Make a quick decision and do it. So my next question for you
Has to do with the common enemy. The common enemy is –
Think of it like this, when you first bring on a client or an organization
Or someone who you’re working with. They have a specific if you could
Wave your magic wand, so to speak and remove a mindset or remove
Something that’s holding them back. And just immediately that,
They would get a rapid jump forward, what would that common enemy be?
And you know, I realized we don’t have a magic wand.
So you have to actually work and do those things.
But if you did have a magic wand, what would the one thing
You would just remove immediately, when you brought someone on?
I would remove people’s own self limiting beliefs.
And here’s a perfect example, a client I worked with recently
Brought me in to enhance their education program.
They already offer their full training program, which is fantastic.
And I gave a first round of two intended rounds of classes on
Connectivity, communication, courage, a whole bunch of things
That go with that. The feedback from the team through my client,
They felt like there was something wrong that my client,
Their training director, was trying to fix. Wow, that was a big
Huge learning curve, because what they saw was,
“Oh, you’re telling me something’s wrong with me?”
No,what we’re trying to do is help you look ahead and
Say we can all improve. We can all make ourselves better.
We can all do these things. And connectivity is one of these avenues,
Where if we really dial into it, and let again, just let your shoulders drop
And take in, like Bowie says, “Take the coaching.”
If you let those self limiting beliefs, like,
“They think something’s wrong with me, I’m going to get fired.”
There’s something bad, like, if we get rid of the negative stuff,
Then we can really dig into it. And that common enemy gets diminished,
What you don’t feed doesn’t survive. So if you don’t feed it,
You won’t perpetuate it. And even if it’s still there,
Because there’s usually a little tiny, something yapping in our heels.
But if you don’t feed it if you if you banish that common enemy
Very intentionally, eventually it will go away. But you have to feed the
Whatever the opposite of the not the enemy, the hero,
Perfect for the show. You have to feed the hero part of that story
In order for the enemy to see that, “Oh, I’m not I’m not going to win this.”
And you have to stay on it. So the negative mindset
That can hold people back like, “Oh, if I hire a coach,
That mean something wrong with me. Or if I hire a speaker,
Why should I pay somebody to speak? Everybody can speak?
Well, that’s absolutely patently untrue. It’s a real profession,
Because you’re asking for expertise that nobody else has,
If you’re looking for training, “Oh, we can do this in house.
We don’t need to pay you.”
“Okay, good luck with that.” And and I mean that at the same time.
It’s not going to be the same training, because we’re not the same people.
So no matter what you quote, do, you’re the only one that can do it.
So the common enemy has to be something that you can overcome,
That you can help other people banish, so to speak, and really make progress.
And I know like the one of the most important things
That I’ve realized in my life and in the training I do with my clients
Is that the reason someone’s going to pay me or pay my clients
Or pay you as a speaker, or pay a coach or pay anyone for anything
Is not necessarily for the message that’s delivered or the goods
That are delivered to the services delivered. It’s that plus,
The perspective of the one delivering it. Because the perspective
Of the one delivering it, they’ve been there, they’ve done that
They’ve got a different perspective. They’ve got different stories.
They’ve got a different understanding of what’s going on.
And that perspective is what makes your product or your service
Or your coaching or your deliverables unique.
What makes you stand out? And it’s just such
An important part of that discussion.
Yes, you’re absolutely right, Richard. The perspective
Is what people essentially – if you want to boil it down,
Perspective is what people pay for. Because if they had your perspective,
You wouldn’t be needed, but they don’t.
Because you do have this unique vantage point. Nobody else
Has run your miles, nobody else has been in your shoes.
And so that’s the value. If we talk about the V word
Value is initially money. It’s part of it, but the value is wet out.
I really connected with that person, there’s something there.
And therefore it’s the self fulfilling prophecy that if I connect with you,
And I – it’s not about liking what you say. But it’s about finding resonance,
Like, “Oh, now I get it.”
“Oh, he’s got a piece of his story that makes sense with my story.”
Now, I found a way forward. You’re absolutely.
Perspective is huge, so important.
Perspective is like said it’s the value. And I think it’s such
A misunderstood concept on both sides of the equation,
Someone who’s buying and someone who’s selling,
The people who are selling don’t value their own perspective.
So they undervalue their services and their goods or they don’t speak
About it in their marketing. So you have that problem.
And then on the other side, people who are buying don’t always understand
What they’re buying, and they’re buying the prospectus.
It’s a problem on both sides and the companies and the people
And individuals who really understand that do a great job of marketing
Perspective and marketing the storytelling that goes with it.
Anyways. So –
That’s a cool discussion. We probably spent an entire podcast just …
As we both know, it’s really important because people like,
“Okay, how does this rubbe really hit the road?”
“How do I make a living? How do I use this for traction,
which we all find in our own ways?
So my next question for you. We talked about this.
You talked about this briefly already. And I want you to go over
A little more in depth.So if you’re common enemy
Is what you fight against. Your driving force is what you fight for.
So just like, Google fights to index all the world’s information, or
Spider Man fights to save New York, what is it that you fight for?
When I was a little kid, I wasn’t shy, but I wasn’t overly outgoing.
And as I became middle schooler, and then a high schooler,
The world was different. It I wasn’t a popular kid. I wasn’t banished.
I wasn’t a bad kid, or anything. Like, I was just a kid.
And then I went to college, and colleges where I came into my own, Richard
And I realized that I was no longer my siste’s sister.
I wasn’t my parents’ daughter, I was me.
And that was a real eye opener. And it’s not that any of those people
Held me back, they denied a very supportive, loving home.
Totally wonderful, super grateful that the driving force
Probably kicked in them, because I realized that for the first time ever,
I get to invent me. And I get to be responsible for all the parts of it.
For better, for worse, right?
I can’t believe I did that moments for the wrong reasons
More and more about, I can’t believe I just did that,
That kind of thing. Right? I can do this. And so.
So the driving force to me is, who am I? And what kind of impact
Can I have in the world, I wouldn’t use those words as early 20 year old.
But I do now few decades past that. Because the driving force to me,
Especially with connectivity is that I have experienced firsthand
Talking about perspective, how learning to be confident,
And competent. It’s not about comfort, but confidence and competence
In who I am. And sharing that forward is incredibly powerful.
That is my driving force, I want to connect the world.
And I want to help the world learn how to connect as well,
Because I have seen it work. I have testimony from people
Who say Ginger until I got your book, I wasn’t sure how to do this thing.
And there’s a for example, there’s a gentleman in my own community,
I held a meetup for several months, and he came to it.
Older gentleman retired, his partner died.
He was hungry for connection. He just wanted to meet people.
And he said, “How do I approach for example, the front desk person
At my gym and not have them feel like it’s creepy?”
Wow, great question, right? We’re all hungry for connection.
But we’re all also slightly up of like, “Oh, well, what does this person want?”
I think there’s an ulterior motive. He wrote me after he bought my book.
And he said, “Ginger, now that I, you know, I get it.”
And he gave me some specifics. And it was so, humbling, and
So rewarding to read that, Richard, that that one piece of advice,
That something that he took and actively and plugged into his life.
That’s my driving force, when I hear those stories, when people like,
“Oh, that one thing you taught us that was worth it.”
Oh, great. We are both successful, there’s a lot more
Where that came from. But the driving force of helping people feel confident,
And competent in walking up to somebody they’ve never met before,
Or re engaging with somebody who they haven’t spoken with
For a long time. That’s a really powerful force for me.
So that’s actually, it’s really interesting, because it’s a great transition
Into the next question I want to ask, but thing that like, that strikes me
There is like, I’ve had, whatever skill set that is, I’ve got it.
Where I’m comfortable walking up and talking to pretty much anyone.
But I couldn’t enumerate it to someone else, right?
I couldn’t be like, as people ask me all the time,
They’re like, how come you can just go up to anyone and say “hi!”
And make relationships and having not feel like you’re being creepy
Or weird? I’m like, I don’t know. It’s just who I am.
So I don’t have a good answer for that. So next question,
Is your heroes tool belt? So every hero has their tool belt.
And maybe that’s- Batman’s got his cool little belt
Full of goodies and Thor has his magical hammer.
What are some of the tools that you use to help people do what you do?
Great questions, Richard.
Heroes tool belt what are some of the tools I have?
Well, I have the framework. And so the seven elements of connectivity.
When I decided to get into connectivity,
I wanted to be crystal clear on my message. I knew what it was to me.
But I needed to be able to, just like you said, enumerate it,
To explain it to other people and have them be clear
On what it is according to what my definition is. So I wrote the book.
So I was clear. Like, I didn’t write the book for an ego charge
My picture is not even in the book, I don’t care about that.
What I care about is that it’s a tool. So that’s a tool in my belt,
Because I wrote my own tool belt, so to speak, like,
Here’s how it breaks down. People would ask me just like they asked you,
How are you able to walk up to somebody? So I step back with that?
Hmm, they honestly don’t know. And they honestly want to know,
How can I help them with that? So that framework became apparent
Seven steps, seven components, seven elements. And so those are,
That’s one of my tools. There’s several tools in my tool belt.
Another one is what I call power, positive, objective and willing,
A connectors mindset is positive, objective and willing,
And it’s true. It’s absolutely dang true. I’m not going to do something glib,
And it just happens to make a little clever acronym.
Unless I believe in it. So being positive has everything to do
With you being able to walk up to somebody.
Okay. What’s the worst that can happen?
Probably not the worst that can happen. It’s probably going to be great
Or at least mediocre. There’s nothing wrong with mediocre
And you just keep moving. That objectiveness that mindset of like,
Okay, let’s go meet somebody. Because there’s so many great out
There that having that willingness, some people call it open mindedness,
I like objective, use whatever one you want.
And then that willingness that taking that first literal step forward,
“Oh, look, somebody over there in the park by themselves.
I’m going to go find out what’s going on.” So that how is a huge thing
For me, one of the other most important things I can I can stress
And share today, Richard is that open-ended questions are queen.
If you want to start a conversation, it is not about you.
It’s not, don’t go into your latest tirade, don’t go into your
Latest me story. Ask about them. Connectors are interested. They’re curious.
It’s not that they put themselves last but the person they put first
Is that other person, let’s see where this can go. And it’s so powerful
To be able to ask a safe, pleasant, open-ended question.
Those are first, that’s the first move in the framework of –
Ask, engage, do something as a traveler, your having hundreds
Of these conversations, right?
All the time you get to master it.
So yeah, how do I do this without the creep factor?
Without somebody feeling weird? You know, it’s a simple open –
I’ll give you some examples. So say you and I are at the bus stop together.
I could ask you something simple, like, “Do you know if the bus is on time?”
It’s extremely neutral. Everybody would have some sort of response,
You’re not putting them on the spot. You’re not creeping out,
You’re just asking a question that they might even have in it.
“Oh, gosh, I don’t know. Let’s ask this other person” or
“I don’t know let’s get my phone out and see,” so all of a sudden,
You’ve made what I call first move, you’ve made the first step
Towards connectivity if you want to.
Another one would be well, “What’s a great thing
About your week so far?” Love that question. Because it’s positive.
Everybody has something and even if they come back as,
“I’ve been having a crappy week, blah, blah, blah, blah,”
You can potentially make their week better by letting them
Know you care because that first new engagement in a conversation
Is all about helping somebody understand that they are seen
And they have value. I was at a coaching event a couple months ago.
It was in Phoenix, Arizona, and their big long lunch breaks.
And we’re watching the park and you’re looking around the park
It’s a pretty busy park and I’m looking around and there’s bands playing
Or there’s music playing some some sort of kind of dance get up and like,
“oh yeah,” to the song. And everybody’s just kind of pleasantly listening to it
As they’re eating lunch. And there was this one woman
Wandering to the park, I think she was home free.
She had several big bags with her and so forth. And she put her
Bags down next to a table and she started dancing.
She was a phenomenal dancer, Richard, and I was so glued
To watching her, I’m like, “Wow, she has a story that I want to know.”
And I’m watching, and I’m watching. And finally, it’s time for us
To go back to the the event. And I thought I’m not going to
Miss this opportunity. So we walked over towards her.
And I didn’t get too close, because proximity has an impact on connecting.
And I simply, I probably got a couple feet away from,
I wasn’t afraid of her. But I didn’t know her. And I didn’t know
Not everybody’s going to react the same way.
So you just want to be respectful of that.
And I said, “I really appreciate watching you dance. Thanks.”
And she smiled back, she gave me a hand gratitude sign.
And I walked on, I was so glad that I didn’t let that opportunity go by
Because I wasn’t there to stroke your ego. I wanted her to know
That what she did made my day a little bit better. And how often
Do we let those go by too often. It doesn’t take very much
To connect with somebody. And that’s a coming and going.
I may never see her again. It doesn’t matter. That’s not the point.
The point is that I wanted to let her know I wanted to connect with her
And tell her I appreciated her because I bet
It’s been a really long downtime, since somebody
Said something positive or even kind to her.
And again, I’m not trying to be a martyr. I’m just
What can I do in that moment? Because I would want that in return
Connectors pay it forward. Full speed. Feel Great.
It’s ah – What do you call it
Two things: one, getting good at asking questions
Is a superpower in and of itself. Yes. Second one, is the ability
To give a good heartfelt compliment.
And they’re great opportunities to open up and start conversations.
Like one of the things that I do all the time is that,
We travel in RV parks, and you know, someone pulls in next to you
And you watch them back their trailer up, right or back their RV up.
I’ll get out and introduce myself and say,
“Hey, you know, I watched you back that up. You did a fantastic job.”
I know how hard that is, right? I do it all the time. And, there’s nothing
To that other than just acknowledging that I know how difficult
What you just did is and I watched you do it and it was great.
It starts relationships.
And so being able to give a heartfelt compliment to people
Is a great way to start that conversation and get things going.
And I just I love the the idea of having a set of tools
That you give someone because what I call it is,
Between stimulus and response, there is choice, right?
And someone who is a master of something,
The stimulus and the response are very close together.
So they don’t have to think about the thing that they’re doing.
So what you’ve done with connection is you’ve spread apart
The stimulus and the response. And you’ve put in your seven step system.
So someone can learn the steps, master the steps,
And then shrink them back together again and become over time,
Bring them together and have it become a natural skill.
And that’s really where you come in, you can help someone
And you can help them do that thing, where you can have them come in
And learn how to do connect and have it be
As natural as it is for you or for me.
You’re absolutely right. I I call it an accordion.
And I like your between stimulus and response. There’s that choice.
And so then in the choices; that how to, a lot of people may have
And they want to respond, but they don’t know how.
And so giving them the tools for that. And I guess my hardware
Background is appropriate there. I do have a beautiful
Leather tool belt that I definitely wear. And I wore it during
My TED talk with my 16 ounce Estwing comfort handle hammer.
So tools are important. (laughter)
That’s a great …
And I love like, if you think about it, right when you see
The lady dancing that’s the stimulus. And the choice is
To go over and talk to her and give her a compliment.
And that’s the response. So between stimulus response is always a choice.
And you’re looking at how do you train that so that the desire
To give the compliment or to ask the open-ended question
Or to create the connection is a natural response.
And that’s going to happen with practice and with,
With time and with effort and stuff like that. So really, really cool.
What I want to do is I want to transition to
One of the last questions is joining. There’s two more,
One of the next one is about your heroes, right?
So every hero has their heroes, you know, Luke and what is his name?
I don’t want to forget the other guy’s name. Frodo had Gandalf.
And we all have those people, who are some of those heroes in your life
Where they mentors were they coaches? Were they authors?
Were they peers who were just a few years ahead and
How important were they to the success and influence
That you enjoy today in your career?
Music is by http://purpleplanet.com/
Who are some of those heroes in your life?
Were they mentors? Were they coaches? Were they authors?
Were they peers were just a few years ahead?
And how important were they to the success
And influence what you enjoy today in your career?
My heroes, some are living, some are dead. And so a couple of dead ones …
Right? Yeah. Well, you know,
Eleanor Roosevelt blows my mind. I would love to have her over
For dinner because her compassion, her diplomacy.
Wow, give me a big old helping and that. She’s nothing short of remarkable.
We all have our own words. At the same time. She chose to find
The positive and she chose to work for it. It doesn’t just happen.
This is not fairy dust people like being a hero takes work.
You’ve got to be willing to do the thing. And she was willing
To do the thing in all kinds of circumstances. So she’s somebody
I’ve long looked up to. I think Geena Davis is flat out remarkable.
I’ve supported her Geena Davis Institute on Gender Studies in the Media
For quite some time. And I had the pleasure of meeting her
A few years ago and was like, I don’t get starstruck like, this is so cool!
Because what I admire about her is her proactivity.
For her to start that Institute, she said, “Look, I can walk into a director’s office.”
Being at the stage of her career, she is, “I can walk into their office,
They know who I am, we have a real conversation,
And I can change something tomorrow,” by the enlightenment
Of what she shares with them. And that’s really powerful to me,
She’s using her own driving force for good. So I think
She’s a pretty remarkable person. A whole bunch of people
That your audience can check out some people who I just personally know
Who I think are remarkable, some of my coaches Maribel Jimenez,
Who’s now a friend, because I often see people I admire,
I want to know them more than just skin deep.
They’re doing amazing things and I want to support them.
And the best way I can support them is to get to know them.
So I’ve targeted certain people that I’ve seen doing things that I like,
“Wow, I have a lot to learn, I want to do what I can to support them.
And I want to start a real friendship relationship.
So a lot of people like that out there, Julie Hearst, Rob Hill,
I could just I could name off a whole bunch for you.
I feel really fortunate in a lot of ways Richard,
I listened to my own driving force of connectivity.
And knowing that people are people, they’re just, we’re all just people,
We’re all just as normal as we can be.
And everybody is hungry for some level of connection.
You alluded to it earlier of the genuine, heartfelt compliment is how you put it.
The genuineness is where you make traction.
I can think of some big names, for example, in the beer community
Who I I still have their phone numbers in my cell phone,
I can call these people, I’m on a first name basis.
They know who I am, they would take my call.
And they’re rock stars in the beer industry. And people would like
They throw themselves at certain people, because they’re just like,
They’ve got the cool factor. They want to hang out with them.
Well, these are people I know. But I’ve been very intentional about
Wanting to get to know them as a person. They’re not any different than us.
They simply have created a unique space in this world.
So my fine husband who was just in the background,
He’s a hero to me in in his own way, because I’ve learned a lot from him.
And we are very complementary, I’ll say, in lots of ways,
And also, at this stage in my life; a stage your life, really,
Here’s piece of advice at any stage of your life,
Get really clear on who your people are, and figure out who they are.
Because first of all, they’re all around you, you get to pick and choose,
Nobody is forcing you to be friends or liking or Facebook stuff followers.
It’s not about numbers. It’s a quality game.
So those heroes whoever is a hero to me in whatever context that is,
They have chosen to do something that I admire that resonates with me
That I know I can learn from that I can perhaps emulate and share forward
With somebody else. So I got a lot of gratitude. A lot of people Richard,
And I even like this, this is our first time meeting,
I’m super grateful that you were willing to have this conversation
And willing to engage with I can’t wait for the for more in the future.
Everything’s possible. And so leave with your best foot
And then see where you can give and where it can go.
So one of the things you said there that I really want to
I want to pull out make sure people caught because
I think it’s really important. Is you said the heroes are people too
The people that you look up to in your life.
Whether, it doesn’t matter how far ahead they are.
You could be talking about President Barack Obama or
Trump pick your flavor. Just your, the local author that you know is,
Has changed your life. For someone who’s a hero in your life
Just like you and I, and if you sit down across from the
Dinner table from them, if you can ask them
Interesting open ended questions. And be interested in them,
They will love you just as much as anyone else.
It’s the you know, because that’s the way connection works.
It doesn’t matter if they’re the ruler of the free world,
Or they run the coffee shop down the street, people are people.
And connection is the same. It’s the old adage of ever read anything
In the pickup artist world. I think one of the Neil Strauss is in that space is-
His books are really good. And one of the things he talks about is like,
The guys, a lot of times they go into a bar, and the quote unquote,
The 10s in the bar “never get any intention.”
Because they feel like they’re, everyone who would would want
To connect with them feels like they’re unattainable.
Because they’re too good, or they’re too big,
Or they’re too whatever. But they’re just people, they’re just women.
And just like you and me, and so it doesn’t matter if it’s someone
Like, in my life, one of my heroes for a long time is now
A close personal friend. And, you know, we’ve done client work
Both ways with each other. I know he’d pick up the phone
And take my call, if I call them. And a lot of that comes
From just understanding. He’s a normal person just like me,
And he likes to have friendships and likes to have people
That will push him and challenge him and ask him questions
And care about what he’s doing. And that’s all it takes.
It doesn’t matter that his business is 100 times bigger than mine.
And his influence is 100 times larger than mine.
That stuff falls away when you have authentic connection.
Yes, because influence and some of those things that we define as,
Quote, success. It’s all relative. You’re absolutely right, Richard.
Who cares if you have $100 million, unless I mean –
Getting to the top by yourself is not the way to get to the top
Of whatever heap you want to climb on. Because then it’s lonely.
The smartest people have other people that surround.
This friend you have, I’m sure he’s so glad to hear from you
Whenever he does, and you’re glad to hear from him.
But it’s got to be real. It’s got to be based in a
Human to human connection. Not a fan base.
Not a creepy way you look at. Yeah, there’s so many, so many things.
I just read an article about Madonna and how her,
What her life is like now and where she came from,
And how she got through a lot of that. So like, those people are still people,
And they’re just creating something normal. And we just get to define
What our normal is.
And I think one of the things that’s really hard as you become
More successful, is realizing that people start to recognize you.
I’ve had this experience a couple times we go to an event in my industry,
And people recognize me there and you get,
I don’t know what the term is, fangirl, right? That kind of thing.
People are like, I know who you’ve done this thing.
And I can’t imagine what that’s like, if you’re a Trump or a Madonna
Or Obama or something like that, where wherever you go,
No one treats you like human being because you’re so famous.
You almost become impersonal because they put you on this pedestal.
But that’s not helpful. You look at somebody like Lady Gaga
Who’s been brilliant about her little monsters and
How she knows those people helped her. So she will never forget them.
She’ll never leave them out. And she pays attention. That’s what it’s about.
So anyway, that’s a such an interesting discussion, and like
Learning how to, we look at human connection, like up and down,
And whatever those things are, and realize that those hierarchies
The hierarchy. A hierarchy of success and influence and money,
Don’t actually exist, not on the connection level, right?
They might actually exist in terms of like, they might actually have
More influence or more money than you but when it comes
To connection, those things don’t really matter.
No, we all have our own circle. And if they overlap, great,
Because if they overlap, and they can be powerful for good,
That’s terrific. Thats to me, what I seek out also in new connections,
And how I want to support new connections too.
Okay, where is that? Who are their people?
And how can I get more people swirling and overlap and so forth?
And to me it’s fun because like, okay, so Richard is something
Quote different than I, yet we have a lot of alignment.
So where is that alignment? Where does where do those circles overlap?
And what can i? A connector will think about it like, what can I do
To support, help, nudge and make that person better, stronger
With what I have? Because that’s how we get better, stronger all the time?
Oh, man, can you imagine what our world would be like,
From a political standpoint, if we would just look at each other
That way, instead of whatever’s going on right now.
Let’s aim for that, for sure. We’re all capable.
Yes, we have to become confident and competent,
Circling back to those to speak up.
And share your message and realize that for the most part,
The overwhelming majority of us have the same goals.
And we want more connection. We want better results for ourselves,
For our family, for our friends, that kind of stuff.
It would change the world I bet. So I think you’re doing powerful work.
So last thing here, I want to bring it home for our listeners
And talk about your guiding principles.
Top one or two things that you do on a daily basis or
Actions that you take on a daily basis that you think
Contribute or drive your success in your business.
Top things I do on a daily basis to drive my success.
Well, focus is a constant work in progress. No doubt about it.
A lot of people will try to sell you a formula, figure out
If the formula works for you. So one of the things that I have kept
Since I was a sophomore in college, so three years ago.
It’s a hard copy date book. Without it, I would forget what I need to do.
And it helps keep me organized. So this is one of my superpower tools.
My hero tools because I like I can see my life. I can map it out.
I can decide, does it change? Well, of course it does. That’s life.
But using that as a daily tool for me, to keep focus
Is really, really important. Something else I do every day is
I am a voracious reader, Richard and I get so much value
And worth and growth and enjoyment pleasure from reading.
I’m a pretty fast reader. I read dozens and dozens of books a year.
Because I’ve been so interested and I’m a fast reader and,
I love it. Like I’ll rip through a bunch of, I mean, some young adult,
Right now, books. They’re fantastic. It’s just so refreshing.
And there’s that middle school probably coming back.
I love young adult fiction is my favorite.
It’s great. It’s so you suspend your judgment, you suspend the leaf
And just get into that story. To me, that’s what life is about.
So there’s a huge analogies.
So that’s, it not to derail it too much.
But I think one of my favorite reasons for young adult fiction
Is that young adult fiction, generally, you get to have a lot
Of the fantasy and the adventure without a lot of the adult theme.
And sometimes you just want to break the adult themes.
Whether that’s relationship trauma or, death and murder and
Some of those things that you get into and more the adult fiction,
And you just get to have, I don’t know, fun. Young fiction,
I think it’s some of the most fun fiction there is.
I would agree it’s in a play on words. It’s it’s unadulterated fun,
Because, it’s not modified by some of the harsher realities
That people perpetuate. But they’re great stories,
You can lose yourself in them, and so forth. So reading is
Really important to me, I do that every single day. I also need to get out
And move my body, I walk a lot, I garden, I cook, because
There’s a lot of physicality in that. I play with my dog, my kids,
My dogs are my kids, to be clear. So it’s taking care of myself.
So I can build this empire. So I can have the impact.
So I can help other people live their lives.
Some people are “yeah, yeah” all day, but how do you make that happen?
Well, get in touch with me, and we’ll have another conversation
And I’ll tell you more. But being organized is something that
I need to do. So I feel clear, or at least I have a direction.
So I want to call something out for my viewers on the show real quick.
I think we’re on episode like 30 or 35, somewhere around there.
For this interview here that we’re doing. And I asked the same question
About tools on every episode. And how, just off the top of your head,
Who would your guests be the number of people
Who say that their calendar is something they live and die by
To run a successful business?
Wow, that’s a great question. I think not enough of them.
It’s surprisingly, for me I was, it’s not something I expected.
When I was getting this question almost every single one of the people
I have on the show says that they they live and die by their calendar
In one way or another whether it’s their electronic calendar or
Their scheduling calendar or their daily planner.
That how common the calendar is for success.
Well it makes sense because if you’re going to plan,
It’s that old adage, right? Fail to plan, plan to fail. If I have –
I can map things out, I like paper because I this eraser.
This is forgiveness right here, Richard, I can change my plans.
I don’t want to have to turn on an electronic device
To see what’s going on first thing in the morning
When I’m all groggy and I’m just getting into my day
And I want to be peaceful. I don’t want to scream.
And so that’s great to hear because there’s so many different
Planners out there and one of these days I’m going to write my own
Because I haven’t found the exact one for me
Because we have our own groove but it’s super help.
It’s my friend. I travel with it and I don’t sleep with it.
I’m not goofy like that. But it’s really important
Because it helps me see the progress.
And I’m the same way I have to use a digital one because
If it’s paper I lose it, like I have to actually give my wife checks
And money that we get because if, straight up, I have a problem
That if it’s paper, I will just going to go away. So like I have –
I’m not kidding I have thrown away checks before, before cash.
So I don’t do well with paper but the electronic stuff
I can keep track of and keep up with. So, but it’s the same thing
I have everything on my calendar. I like having the tablets really nice
Because it’s big giant thing. You can see the whole calendar,
All the things that are laid out into your day
And see all the things we have on there. So I love my calendar.
It’s great. So anyways, that basically finishes up the interview
But I do have one more thing I want to ask you this something
That I do on every show I call it the Heroes challenge.
Heroes challenge is really simple. Basically, do you have someone
In your life or in your network that you think
Has a really great entrepreneurial story? Question is who are they?
First names are fine, we can connect on details later.
And second, more importantly, why do you think they should
Come on the show and share their story?
How many do you want?
It’s hard you gotta pick one.
That’s why we call it the challenge
Is that desert island question what one album, “Oh, don’t make me do that.”
Um, what’s one hero off the top of my head?
Let me see Kenyatta Turner.
Do you know Kenyatta yet?
I don’t. But I look forward to meeting her.
You’re gonna. She’s a firecracker. We met in Arizona and
We’ve kicked it off. And so I will send you the resulting connection
And introduction and anybody else who’s listening Kenyatta Turner.
She’s effervescent. She’s smart. She’s funny, and she’s always ready
She’s a remarkable person, making really positive change in lots of ways.
To grab a refreshment with somebody who wants
To connect with her. I love her dearly.
Awesome. So we’ll connect after the show and see about getting
Her on the show, we actually make up these little cool
Little challenge videos and send them off to them and say,
“Hey, you were challenged to be on the show by our guest.”
Pretty cool. Actually, we found our first couple of guests already
That have come from that it’s been really cool.
So I’m hoping, I’m really excited to see how that part
Of this program is growing. Last thing, for the interview is
Where can people find you? If they want to reach out to you
Either hire you to speak or hire you as a coach or read your books?
Where can they find you? And second, more importantly,
Who are the types of people that should reach out?
Okay, great. First,https://www.gingerjohnson.com/
Just like the spice in the last name G-I-N-G-E-R J-O-H-N-S-O-N.
My Canon is there. My other book is there actually if interested in that.
Speaking, programming, coaching, and so forth,
All of that can be found there. And I’m happy to take phone calls,
My number is publicly available, because I’m happy
To have those live connections.
Who is that? The next question, Richard?
Who should reach out who the types of the ideal person to reach out?
And hire you?
Sure, I would be honored to serve, help, be hired by people
Who see that they want to be very intentional in creating and developing
Relationships with the idea that they’re going to take care of other people.
So some of those groups I mentioned before educators,
Network marketing companies, people who quote are sales,
The people with the sales mindset of sales and service services is sales,
People who want to take a look at how to connect
With other people with true meaning, people who want
Who just want to run screaming, and don’t tell me
To get out of the ikkk of networking, you don’t like that,
I have to go to another one of those events, I can absolutely help them.
And I do that. I also do the last thing I would say is
I help a lot of people with their speaking skills.
Because as a connector, I need to be able to connect with other people.
And I can teach people how to connect with an audience of any size.
And so if they’re interested in that particular arena of connectivity
I would be delighted to help.
Awesome. So for those of you who are listening,
And if you’re looking for learning how to do connection,
Which, I know, it’s a skill that a lot of people are looking for,
It definitely takes time to reach out to Ginger.
Hopefully, you’ve heard through this conversation.
She’s an expert in this space. And I can tell just from listening
For the keynotes, and she’s talking about here.
So I really appreciate you coming on Ginger.
It’s been incredibly wonderful talking to you that I also
Wanted to point out that we may or may not be related
Because my mother’s maiden name is Johnson.
So I have I have a grandpa Johnson and a grandma Johnson and
A whole Johnson my family, and a whole bunch family. That’s Johnson.
Very good. Well, it’s a pure pleasure. And I look forward to
Hopefully seeing you on your travels at wherever it might be,
Whether it’s this trip or another trip, but reach out anytime –
When we get up to Oregon. I’ll reach out to you.
Please do that. Please do that. Indeed.
Well, thank you so much, Richard. It’s been a pleasure, truly.
Yeah. Awesome. Same to you.
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What Is The Hero Show?
A peak behind the masks of modern day super heroes. What makes them tick? What are their super powers? Their worst enemies? What's their kryptonite? And who are their personal heroes? Find out by listening now