Episode 030 – Riana Milne
Welcome to another episode of The HERO Show. I am your host Richard Matthews, (@AKATheAlchemist) and you are listening to episode #30 with Riana Milne – Towering Above Your Traumas.
Riana is a Certified, Global Life, Dating & Relationship Coach, a #1 Best Selling author, the Host of her Podcast, ALEXA’s Daily Brief, and global Radio Show on BoldBraveMedia.com called Lessons in Life & Love, an educational speaker, a Certified Trauma & Addictions Professional – and is Licensed Mental Health Counselor for over 19 years in both New Jersey and Florida.
Here’s just a taste of what we talked about today:
- TEN CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS that affect an adult later in life and love relationships
- Teaching the mindset for success in all life areas
- Changing the way how the world loves
- One generation of men have not evolved
- 100% course finish rate
- The difference between working with a child and an adult
- Providing more resources for our children than we had at their age
- Writing is a powerful tool for entrepreneurs
- Come up with things that make you different from everybody else
- Life and Love books
- Online School
The HERO Challenge
Today on the show, Riana challenged Olya Carlin to be a guest on The HERO Show. Riana thinks that Olya is a fantastic interview because she came to the USA at 18, alone with only enough money to travel, couldn’t speak the language, and went through hell with relationships. Now, Olya is a successful health coach who is happily in an amazing relationship
How To Stay Connected With Riana
Want to stay connected with Riana? Please check out their social profiles below.
Also, Riana mentioned her FREE EBOOK called “How to Have the Love You Deserve!”. You can the free ebook at HaveTheLoveYouDeserve.com
Call To Adventure
Don’t forget you can stay connected to me and the show by subscribing now. Just text ALCHEMY to 444999. Or you put your email address in the box at the bottom of this page. You’ll get all sorts of cool gifts, be updated about our contests and polls, and get notified when we publish new episodes. With that… let’s get to listening to the episode…
The Webinar Alchemy Workshop: https://richardmatthews.me/fs/waw-slf/
Hello and welcome back to The HERO Show. My name is Richard Matthews.
I’m here in a new setting today out in Santa Barbara, California. I’ve got Riana Milne
On the line. Are you there, Riana?
Hi Richard. How are you? Hi everyone.
Awesome. So glad to have you here. Let me do a quick introduction so people know who you are.
So, Riana is a certified global life and dating and relationship coach, which is super cool.
I saw some of your topics. So we have a … about today’s is really interesting.
Number one best selling author, your host of your own podcast.
You have a daily brief on Alexa? And you’ve been certified as a trauma
And addictions professional. And licensed for Over 19 years, you said in Florida?
As a licensed mental health counselor, both New Jersey and Florida.
Wow. That is got to be a tough gig.
I love it. I love what I do. I love the coaching now.
Yeah, a lot of fun. So, what I want to start off with and we start all the shows off with
Is basically what are you known for now? What is it that people come to Riana for?
What do they come to you for help with?
Sure. I help people, which is 90% of adults, overcome childhood and love trauma,
And help them heal to create the life that they desire and then have the love that they deserve.
So dive into that a little bit. What kind of traumas are we talking about?
Okay, well, there are 10 childhood traumas.
I can name all 10 because it’s really fascinating to know what they are
Because most people say, “Well, I wasn’t traumatized. I don’t fit the 90%.”
And they hear the list. They’re like, “Oh, yeah, I do have a few.” And this list was –
There’s a list developed by Kaiser Permanente, Which they call the ACE test,
A-C-E, which stands for Adverse Childhood Events.
But my list came out a few years ago, from my direct experience, as working
As a psychotherapist, addiction specialist with adolescence in the school,
As a SAC Counselor, Student AssistanceCounselor, and I worked
To every grade there. And I was the counselor in the schools that help the kids
With their emotional upset. Or if they were labeled ADHD
Or oppositional defiant, I was the counselor that they saw. So that’s grade kindergarten
All the way through college and child study team. So I’ve been working in the trauma field,
Not thinking I’m working with trauma, but every position I worked with
In the adolescent unit of a hospital, I was seeing teenagers that were cutting,
Suicidal, using drugs running away. They came from traumatic homes,
They didn’t want to be there. So my list is a checklist of 10 items. And I’ll be glad
To go into that because it’s pretty fascinating. Again, when I do this,
If you want to make a note of it, it’s if you want to meet with me later,
I would be asking how many of the traumas do you think you have? And again,
This is not a list about shame, or blame, because when you hear the list, again,
As a child , you’re just a product of your environment, there’s not much you can do.
I don’t want to say you’re a victim, but you were there. And these events
Happened around you. So the first one, as a child, did you experience
Your caregivers or parents that first had any addiction? So we think
Of drugs and alcohol, but there’s ten addictions are;
Drugs, alcohol, sex, meaning a parent was a chronic cheater, porn, gambling,
Hoarding, spending, eating, TV watching, workaholism and gaming. So there’s 11 addictions
Right there that could have been more … than you. Yes, as a addiction specialist,
We know that there’s more addictions than drugs and alcohol. That’s just the top of the list.
Okay, second, verbal abuse if you watch their parents fighting, or verbal abuse
Came towards you. So you did not hear the words “I loved you.” You weren’t given compliments.
You had verbal put downs, you never felt good enough. Or you were yelled at
Or the parents were mad. They would call be stonewalling you meaning
Shutting down not talking to you for hours or days. That’s forms of verbal abuse.
Emotional abuse, and neglect is number three. Number four is physical abuse, like beatings,
Rape, or molestation, and those two could have happened inside or outside of the home.
The next trauma would be abandonment. There’s two types fault and no fault abandonment.
Now, I named no fault abandonment as if the parent dies early, it’s certainly not their fault,
But the child is still abandoned and feels traumatized by that. If a parent goes off
To war, or if a parent works out of the home for long periods of time, and that was
A situation for me. I found out, we all did, my family, that my father was FBI and CIA,
Many years later, unfortunately, he was dying of cancer, when we got letters
From the president, thanking my father for all his years of services for our country.
But I remember as a little girl asking, when’s daddy coming home?
And my mom would be very upset and say, “Well, I don’t know.” So she was left
Raising five kids mostly on her own, and we’d be always waiting for dad to come home.
That’s a form of abandonment. Okay, and then fault abandonment would be
If there was a divorce, and the parent never really sees a child or is inconsistent,
And the child grows up wondering who that other parent was. Or even if
Or breaks his promises to see the child, or the parent never was in the child’s life to begin with.
You are visiting your parents, and they choose to ignore you. The dad is spending
More time with his new girlfriend or watching football on TV, you’re still
Not feeling a bond. So that’s type of fault abandonment. The next one is
If you were adopted, part of foster care, or needed to go live in another household
Because your parents couldn’t keep you in a household that could have ended
Living with grandma or an aunt, or family friends. Next one, trauma number seven
Is one of the most common and that was if you grew up being feeling not good enough.
So you might have been bullied at the school, or not picked for sport teams.
Skinny and gawky or you were overweight kid for some reason, we just didn’t feel you fit in.
Next one would be sibling trauma. You perceived one of your siblings to be the golden child.
So they could have been more attractive, more athletic and prowess,
More handsome or beautiful. And you saw that your parents gave them more
Alkaloids time or attention. And another could be your sibling was born
With a medical issue. So they demanded more of moms and dads time
Because they were ill. Or your sibling could have bullied you.
Number nine is family trauma. And from a longer list, I brought in also,
Community trauma. So community trauma would be our school shootings,
Our mass shootings, or natural disasters, hurricanes, floods, fires, mudslides,
That are wiping out communities. And of course, this is devastating for adults.
But can you imagine little children going through this fear and horror running from a fire,
That’s trying to catch up on them or something like that. Family trauma would be
If a parent’s incarcerated. if you remember growing up in lack or poverty. If you had
A move a lot like our military families in the US, let us move every two to four years
And the child is displaced from school. Those are some of the typical family traumas.
Or losing your home during the mortgage crisis. And then the last one number 10 would be
If your parent had a mental health illness, and my generation, we didn’t really
See our parents go off to counselors. So you have to kind of guess if that was going on.
So the two most disruptive to a child is borderline personality disorder,
Which is fast trigger anger. You don’t know what kind of mood they’re going to be in
When they’re good, they’re great, when they’re bad, they’re horrid.
That’s the best way to explain borderline, they get moody and upset over the littlest things.
And then bipolar is manic depressive. Depression can come out
As anger or checking out emotionally. Manic could be a phase of gambling,
Or spending spree. Eating, binge eating something like that could be a manic phase.
So those are the 10 traumas that kids commonly grow up with – some of them.
And the research shows that about, you know, 80% of people say they have 1 to 3
Of these events that have happened in their life.
Just like thinking through my family and close friends or people that
I have good relationships with, I know someone who’s had at least one of every one of those.
So it’s more common than we realize. And then what happens is
This plays out in later years, in your love relationships.
So that sort of leads me into your origin story, which we talked about is –
How did you go from being a professional in this space to being an entrepreneur
In this space? Where you a life coach and offer those kind of things? How did you
Make that transition? And why did you make that transition?
Sure. Well, I opened my therapy practice Therapy by the Sea
In Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey, in year 2000. Which is right outside
Of Atlantic City. And although I had a solo therapy practice, I also went
And worked part time at the schools, and the Hospital Center for adolescents
And the drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents and women from prison.
So I had all these other jobs going on as I was doing the psychotherapy work.
And unfortunately, as a therapist, like very many of our other medical professions,
We are held hostage by the insurance companies. After 17 years of not getting more
Than a $5 per session raised by the insurance companies, I quit them
And went out on my own, got certified as a coach 2009 and 10. And I said,
I definitely want to be a coach. But I wanted to put out really important materials,
Educational materials, I’m really all about education. So I wrote my first book,
Live Beyond Your Dreams, from fear and doubt, to personal power,
Purpose and success. And its sister book, Love Beyond Your dreams
And break free of toxic relationships to have the love you deserve. And then went on
And built 150 page notebook, interactive notebook for singles,
And then one for couples. So to produce all that education materials took me a while
But I was still coaching since 2010, but also doing therapy. And then,
Once all my materials were done, I built an online school, which is called the
My https://www.lifeandlovetrainingacademy.com/ Where I can have people
Do online self study, as well as work with me as a coach. So once these programs
Were formed and developed, I left the therapy business completely fall of 2017.
The winds of change with Hurricane Irma said now it’s time to close my office,
And I went full time with coaching, and I love it. I absolutely love it,
And in that process. I’m sorry, go ahead.
I was gonna say not a lot of people have – So there tends to be
Two types of entrepreneurs, those of us who are born into it, and we just,
We never had a job and we sucked at jobs, and we could never really do it.
And those of us who make the transition from doing the work to being an entrepreneur,
And you obviously made that transition. How do you feel about that?
Do you have any advice you might give someone who’s making that or
Thinking about making that kind of transition?
Yes, I’ve been an entrepreneur since my 20s. This is just part two of my life.
I opened a modeling talent school at age 26, up in Erie, PA . And I opened with
My first month’s rent after I left a marriage, where my husband borrowed
A large sum of money from my mother. And after I lost respect over that
In the business that we had, which was a chocolate company,
He signed some papers behind my back and got us into three quarters
Of a million dollars in debt. So, I was 26 years old with two little daughters,
And decided to leave the marriage. I said I cannot tolerate anymore.
So, we bankrupt and I opened up this model and talent school, an agency
I modeled for 13 years at that time, it’s like I can be an agent I’ll figure out
What to do. And I was always motivated by success and learning. So I opened up
The school within six months and became an International Model and
Talent School of the Year Award Winner for educational excellence.
And soon after, I was able to buy a nice home for my daughters and I
And I had it for 10 years. And I was doing a lot of coaching and counseling,
Helping people with eating disorders that came to me thinking they had
To be skinny to model, like, no, you don’t look good, you need to be healthy to model.
You need healthy hair and teeth and skin. And so I was doing a lot of counseling
At that time. And I loved it. It’s like I really want to go back to school to get
A masters degree. My first degree was in Penn State for communications
Broadcast Communications. So my first job at a Penn State was to work
As a copywriter for CBS station, which I really loved it but the pay was low.
And I said I can make more of my own. So I always start my business with a dream.
None of my businesses have started with a bank loan. None. And I got this gift
From one of my mentors, Gene Vassal who was head of sales
At the radio station WFIL Philadelphia, and I was a model called a boss chick.
And we had hot pants and go go boots. And we worked all over
The city of Philadelphia on incredible things. I danced the Encore with
Freddie Mercury at Night at the Opera concert, had to pick up Alice Cooper
From the airport and worked with all kinds of celebrities. That was my job
And making 25 an hour. Not bad for teenage kid back in that day.
And I love the entertainment field and getting to the bottom of
How did they get famous? And what did they do? And what was their mindset?
You know, when everybody else wanted to be a singer? How did they reach the top?
So I was always interested in reading biographies as a kid, and getting to know
These people and how do they reach their goals? So I always had an entrepreneurial spirit.
So you’ve sort of … back and forth with that line with entrepreneurship
And doing work for other people anf everything. That’s really cool.
Well, you have to do what you gotta do. So I was building my business,
But I needed regular income, I’m supporting my children. I was also paying
Child support for joint custody. And I had been paying my mother back $200,000
That my husband frauded from her. So that you can’t really do on a simple
Nine to five job nor can you do it as a beginning entrepreneur? So I had developed
The mindset, develop the mindset for success very early on.
So my next question then, is what would you say after all of your years,
As an entrepreneur, that your superpower is, that if you could narrow down
Here’s the thing that I do that has led to my success, or really helps me
Help other people? What would you say your superpower is?
It’s teaching the mindset for success in all life areas. No matter what difficult
Transition you go through, and I’ve been tested on this my whole life,
That you can overcome. And I’m also a very faith-based and very spiritual.
So with faith and the mindset for success, you can complete and
Do anything that you dream to do. And this is what I teach my clients when
They come to me out of a toxic relationship, or through a difficult life situation,
Like a divorce or something like that. Or they moved to a new city,
And they can’t get their head wrapped around all the stress that they’re feeling.
They call me, we do life and love transformation coaching. To get them where
It is they need to be. But a big part of it is all mindset.
So if you could distill it down, couple of things like 30 seconds,
What would you say some of the most important mindsets are to overcoming
And doing the things you want to do.
Fear-based thinking is the top killer. Research shows eight out of 10 of
Most people’s thoughts are negative based. And these all come from our
Childhood trauma messages. So overcoming the fearful my mindset,
Overcoming anxiety, overcoming bouts of depression, so self doubt.
Is that kind of fears, like that negative voice in your head that says I can’t do it,
Or I’m not good enough for it. Is that what you’re talking about?
Yes, correct. Yes, that all come from the childhood trauma messages.
That’s really interesting. So like, when you were going through the childhood trauma
I realized, I don’t have most of them, maybe one was, in middle school,
I got teased a lot for being small.
And … in the fact that I’m smarter than all of them anyway, so , as a child,
And I’ve so, I dealt with it. And, but a lot of those negative, that kind of fear thinking.
My dad always really instilled in me that it was anything you put your mind to, you can do,
There’s nothing keeping you there. So I always had that other side. I knew that I could do
Whatever I wanted. So it’s not something I struggled a lot with. But I know
Everyone does. And I can see it. And I can hear it. He’s just a small voice
But I’ve always had a bigger voice on the other side. On that. So, it’s interesting that
You specifically focused on helping people overcome that negative voice.
And then come into conscious awareness to live in positivity, and the confidence
That they can do what they dream to do. Yes.
So one of the things that I found interesting is, at least for myself,
The way I’ve always imagined that negative voice is that it’s a separate voice like this,
It’s not me, it’s not coming from inside, and it is separate than I can ignore it.
And that’s just like a mental game that I’ve always played.
Because it’s not, I don’t know how to say if I’m saying that, right. But like –
That’s one way to do it.
Yeah, that’s one way.
How do you generally help people over?
We use a process called capping. You correct the negative thought.
A gentle parent’s voice inside of you, which is your own voice,
You reparenting yourself, to say, “No, that’s not true.” Everything is going fine.
“I’ve got you, God’s got you.” Whatever power you believe in whichever higher power,
My healing, definitely is based on faith-based healing. So whether
To call it divine God, whatever. It’s really important, because that’s part
Of the gentle faith of you were born perfectly imperfect. We’re all here
To learn lessons in life. That’s a Buddha message, that we’re supposed to make mistakes.
And we’re supposed to learn from those mistakes. So they’re not really mistakes.
It’s just part of the journey. So it’s a gentle reparenting. If you have faith,
Fear-based thought you cap it with a positive one.
So I mean, that’s exactly one of the things that we do with our kids.
So it’s interesting to think about that in terms of like, of your own thinking of
How to place and correct the thinking.
And I raised my daughters totally different, my girls now 35, and 36.
But, my 36-year old Alexi Panos coaches around the world now,
She’s been putting water wells in Africa since the age of 20. Building 14 of them,
She sings on three multi Platinum CD. She models, she’s in top magazines,
Runway, HGTV, a couple seasons for several shows on home makeover.
So this is a girl that has heard my messages, both my daughters since
They were growing up. He’s living that to the max, the watch me mindset
For success is what I call it. And then he went down to put you down
This is your dream, its stupid. In your own head, you say, “Watch me, I can do it.”
That is exactly the thinking that I was raised, as well. And it’s actually
You know, so –
Almost the same response I have all the time when someone tells me
I can’t do something. That’s what we did instead. And it’s interesting because
When you have that kind of attitude, you do things that sometimes
A lot of people think are impossible. And my own industry, we have a number
Of invention is a strong word, but like solves problems that people didn’t think
Could be solved. And, you know, it’s around that watch me attitude. And my brother
And I both share. And I remember growing up, if you if you ask either of us nowadays,
He works in aerospace designs, type stones, and he works with CNC machines and
Other things it does, he does stuff that’s like way over my head. But either way,
It’s like both of us, in our respective industries. someone’s, they always ask,
Can you do this? And we always respond to it. That’s the wrong question.
The answer to that question is always yes. The appropriate question is
How much time and money, and energy do you want them to getting the result?
Because we can always find a way to make it happen.
And my daughters have always been entrepreneurs, as well. So they’ve all created
Their own businesses when they were young, I used to ask them
Mom needs a logo for this or I need for a fashion show. I need a certain song that
Brings about this and that and then we’ll brainstorm ideas and that
Was something I did since they were very young so for them to put a marketing plan
Together or come up with a logo or slogan it’s like second nature to them.
So do you teach your children while they’re young – business.
… My son, and his current thing his school work here but he has a couple
Of businesses that he started. You’ve got one where his working on creating pine cones
Collecting pine cones and putting like color stuff on so when you burn
They burned different colors and working on –
Wow! Nice! Cool.
Andhe build a bunch of- I don’t know what to call them. He turned hair pins
And popsicle sticks into crossbows with rubber bands and whatnot. He was selling
Those at little farmers markets. So anyways, we’ve been encouraging
That kind of stuff for a while.
We look forward to seeing what comes because I didn’t really get into
The entrepreneur stuff til’ I was much older. So just think be interesting to see
How much further he gets … the earlier. He got to start.
So generally, we talk a little bit about common enemies, but it sounds like
We already covered that a little bit with the fear based mindset. So I want to
Talk a little bit about the driving force, right? So in our whole hero mantra things,
Spider Man fights to save New York, Batman fights to save Gotham or Google
Fights to Index all the world’s information. What is it that you fight for?
What is it that you’re looking to help people really achieve?
Say, I’m on a mad mission to change the way the world loves
To go from unconscious hookup culture, to emotionally healthy evolved
and conscious love relationships. So I am an educator. I do a lot of research
Coming from the psychotherapy background of a triple masters in that.
So taking any of the research from that and helping them with the exact skills
They need to attract and have emotionally healthy relationship because those skills
Weren’t taught anywhere. Not by our parents, not in schools.
You have your work cut out for you with mission like that, too. Because our culture is
Hardcore into the hookup and
Its really sad.
Even the number of people who are getting married is dropping. And I know that –
And the divorce statistic is totally bogus, because they don’t they don’t actually
Account for a number of things. But, the the real statistic is like –
It’s about 60%.
But the the real statistic, the one that’s actually scary is,
Most people are just not getting married. So it’s not that marriage is not surviving.
They’re just not even starting to begin with.
Well, they grew up watching their parents marriages fall apart. It’s funny,
I was on a lecture with Dr. Terry Real, who coaches a lot of men
Who have toxic personality types. And he was saying amongst the millennial,
The baby boomers, which is where I am. I fit in the baby boomer crowd. He says,
The women really, really evolved throughout time that the men stayed stuck
Wanting to be in that Ozzie and Harriet, you know, the woman does everything.
She cooks, she cleans, now she works. She does the kids. She does everything.
He does the nine to five. Comes home sits down. Wants his meal on the table still,
And then goes and watches TV for the night. Well, women, what my generation
We’re leaving that in hordes. It’s like, to me, it’s just another child. We can raise
Our children without the third child. And he’s there and he’s there. I’m a feminist.
He goes, I’ve watched you watch these women through the generation say,
“Okay, well, we grew up watching that we’re supposed to be housewives and
We’re going to be taken care of.” Then, you know, when I was 21, I went to college.
It’s like, “Okay, I guess we’re getting a job. And then having the kids
And trying to get the kids the jobs.” The grocery shopping, the meals cooking,
Cleaning the house, we were doing so much it was so much overload.
That the pressure from the male, that if he was irresponsible or hanging out
With his buddies, or going down to the corner bar, eventually says,
“I’ll just do this on my own.” So this is what his report was at the men have not
Really evolved. However, the kids growing up watching this, the millennial men
Were my daughters and son in-laws fall into. The men are very much taking care
Of the kids and the house. And helping out every way as an equal partner
In those areas. And the women are still working, but they have a little bit now, support.
They have the support and help now from these men that want to be good fathers
Because they saw their fathers just like “check out.” They weren’t spending much time
With them. So he says, that has been the biggest change in society and relationships.
Where the millennial men have really stepped up and balanced
These relationships so much better.
It’s really, there’s so many so many things in that, that we could unpack and dive into.
But everything from the women working to – It almost gets ostracized nowadays
When women want to stay home and be moms.
Yeah. I know.
Or if they want to take a couple of years off and go home be mom, which is unfortunate.
It is for the kids that are coming out.
Because there’s nothing like a mom. And, anyways, so my mom works my growing up,
But my dad was also, he did a really good job of – He did a lot of stuff with us growing up,
But I can see that, like, with my wife and I have the whole equal partner thing going on,
But I do work so she can raise our children, which is what –
That’s good. Yeah, that’s against today. It is rare.
And I, make enough with the business that she doesn’t have to work.
So, she doesn’t and we travel full time. So we have a lot of fun doing that.
But that’s not a typical situation.
We worked really hard to create – And earlier in our marriage, she did work but anyways,
We got it to a point where she didn’t have to so she could stay home with the kids.
Yeah. So a lot of the marriages are also falling apart because of this unhealed,
Unconscious childhood or trauma wounds. People are, there’s a lot of
Narcissism going on. There’s control, anger, jealousy. And this is all
People pleasing, from the women, trying to please everybody and then
Burning out and getting angry and resentful because we’re exhausted.
Men wanting to control a high powerful businesswoman who’s out earning a lot of money,
And then he’s nitpicking her to death with what she’s wearing, or her weight isn’t perfect.
It’s all these unhealed wounds that people are coming from and
It’s causing a lot of sabotaging relationships.
Do you think the massive drop in birth rates we’ve seen globally
Is a part of that, as well. Where, I know, they were talking. In the US,
If you remove the Hispanic culture, our birth rate in the US is like 1.8,
Which is barely enough to survive. Bannock culture, it’s like 2.5, but like Japan and France,
Have both had to hire ministers of sex, so to speak, because they’re trying
To encourage people to have families. And it I’m curious, if you think that
Might play in some of the childhood?
I mean, because again, the kids grow up seeing their moms are single moms
Struggling to support the families. Working like I did, I worked four to five jobs.
For a period of time, too, but I had the other unfortunate situation that, my family
Was ripped off by my husband. So it’s like, “Okay, do I really need that?
Or can I just make it on my own with my kids?” I can do better with that, versus,
The man bringing me down in some way. So as women, who are successful
In business, we expect successful, emotionally healthy unconscious male.
So it’s just the lack of responsibility in a lot of people not overcoming
Their own traumas. He was someone that had childhood traumas,
A lot of self-doubt. And that whole situation happened because he was trying
To please his father. So I mean, the forgiveness piece was huge for me
For my healing, and I had to. Once I uncover the childhood trauma, it’s like,
“Oh, okay, great.” Well, now I totally understand what he grew up with. And I can
Forgive that because he was not nurtured the way he should have been.
But it runs havoc, and people aren’t understanding that this is going on.
And there’s a lot of unhealed people running around and hurting others. Due to –
On this mission you’re on to help heal these relationships. And what did you call it
To your own imagination to heal the way the world is and build really-
Or the way the world loves? How has it been going with your school
And your courses and whatnot? Have you started to see a lot of –
I’m doing great. I’m doing really great.
How you’re doing, but like, with your students? Are you starting to get see people?
A result of a sort of?
What kind of success rate?
I mean, I’m at 100% success. Anyone that finishes my courses,
And I heard a statistic only 9% don’t finish most courses on like, Are you serious?
And my finish rate is extremely high. I only think maybe 5%. of finish.
My people finish, they want to finish. So I’ve only done a couple years
Of full time coaching. I am in the 5% of people making six figures in coaching.
I am global. I went from a local office, two years ago to global. Had my online school,
I have seven different programs, had live radio show the podcast show,
I’m on Alexa, I am out there. And I have the energy and the mission to do it.
When finishing the courses are they starting to – are you’re starting to see
People actually change their lives as a result of that kind of
Totally changed lives? If you go to my podcast, it’s on my YouTube channel or
https://lessonsinlifeandlove.com I just had two of my graduates on.
One just got married and one shot on there she goes, my life has totally changed.
I mean, I have 80 testimonials on my website, https://rianamilne.com/ that people
Can read through. It totally changes their life in many different areas.
And once they really get the mindset for success, and going from
Unconscious reaction, or poor coping strategies, from their childhood wounds,
And become consciously aware of everything they’re doing, saying, acting,
have this new purpose driven life, goal setting techniques, everything that they
Learned in the program, their whole lives totally change. It’s fascinating. I love it.
It reminds me of one of the things that I talk all the time, my kids have this
More than anyone else, really. But the idea that between stimulus and response,
There is choice. And most people, that choice is automatic. They’re having
Stimulus come in and just making choices at the reaction mindset that you’re having.
And that’s the unconscious mind that gets them in trouble.
One of our goals as a coach or an educator is to teach people how
And once you master the choices you want to be making, then you start
To separate stimulus from response. So we can have control over that choice.
To bring those back together, and you start automatically making the choices,
The better results. And that’s how they become a master at anything, really.
That’s really, it’s what you’re helping people do is unpack that stimulus response,
Take out the bad decision making and put in better decision making,
Or not bad decision making the decision making that unconsciously has been driven
Them most of their lives because of the childhood conditioning.
It all really goes back to that, you know, that’s what’s so fascinating about that.
How important, my fear is apparent, is that I’m doing something that I’m going to
Really mess up their their decision making as an adult, which is a probably
Every parent’s fear, but the it because it’s true. Whatever you give them
They come to you as a blank slate, and you give them all the things that –
All the skills and the coping skills and the decision making skills that
They’re going to use the rest of their lives.
I love being a counselor in the schools, because the the kids that we’re not
Getting guidance, love or nurturing at home, were the ones acting out
In the schools. They were the bullies, they were the ones acting up in their classroom.
So I got a chance to reparent them, as a counselor. And I taught them
The mindset for success and their friends went up and their grades went up,
Their anxiety went down. A lot of them didn’t either ADHD meds anymore.
So, all my students were meditating in my office, which was called
Miss Riana’s relaxation room. I taught them how to meditate and calm down
The brain processes. So I look back, and I’m like, “Oh, my gosh, I’ve been working
with you trauma for 20 years.” It’s all that I had been getting as a counselor.
And it was really time to bring out the checklist and really uncovere this.
Question for you. Because a lot of you have this experience.
What is the difference between teaching a child to do something
And teaching an adult to do something, because you’re teaching
The same set of skills, whether or not you’re teaching them to a child in
Ms. Riana’s relaxation room, or teaching them to adults who are going through
Your program? How have you found that educational experience as a teacher, different?
I don’t really find it much different at all, I really look at young people
As being brilliant, I don’t treat them as little kids, I treat them as equals.
I think they’re brilliant. They want to learn and they know they have pain in their life.
They know they can’t make friends. They know that their grade should be better.
They know they’re unhappy at home. Same with the adults and
The adults come to me, they come because there’s some kind of pain going on.
They’ve been in a toxic marriage for 20 years. They have to get out that.
They’re so overwhelmed with their pain and their anxiety, and bouts of depression.
So really, it’s very equal, and a child knows when they’re in pain,
Just like an adult knows that they’re in pain and not happy. So when they
Get to that point, “I want to change my life,” I want to learn what to do
To make this pain go away. It’s just teaching them and it’s still, I said,
For the adult, it’s reparenting. So I can teach the same type of meditation
And I do to my elementary school kids, that I teach to my adults.
In communication skills, for my couples, I teach my students the art of negotiation.
They can barely say the words, but they know how to negotiate
Through a problem, or before they would fight their way through it.
So, it’s fascinating teaching it all levels.
I love that you said that, because it’s one of the things that I catch
A lot of flack from as a parent, from other parents who don’t understand my mindset.
All the way down to – I’ve always treated my kids as if they are on my level.
From an intellectual standpoint. And I remember like specifically, Tommy’s,
… for a few minutes ago, he was 18, months walking, barely talking,
That kind of thing. And we were out in the backyard throwing a ball with each other.
And as we’re throwing the ball, I’m just explaining the physics
Of throwing the ball to him. We’re going and telling them about parabolic arches
And all the mathematics, because something I find fascinating. And I throw the ball
With an 18-month old, to keep my own mind engaged, and my stepdad comes up,
Comes out and be like, “Why are you doing that? He can’t understand any
Of those things you’re saying.” And, I was like, “Who am I to judge what he can
or can understand.” And I remember we come back a couple of weeks later.
And we had a bit earlier, we’ve been throwing the ball up onto the porch,
And he couldn’t quite get it up on the porch. And I explained to him, I was like,
“Step back a little bit, you’ll have a shallower arch and you’ll be able to throw it
With your strength, with your arm. And he’s 18 months old, right?
So, he couldn’t even say the word parabolic arch, let alone understand.
When we come back a couple weeks later, and we go out to the backyard
And takes the ball and he immediately steps back and he throws the ball
Up onto the patio, and it goes parabolic arch dad, parabolic arch.
And from that point on, it was like I was sold. I was like, my son is capable-
I can’t judge what he can or can’t understand. So I’ve always just given him everything
And let his mind soak it in.
There’s a great body of research, Richard, its called the dome -Well,
When I studied it, I was pregnant. So it’s 36 years ago, the Doman Method of Education,
Which is outside of Philadelphia, very close to where I lived. It was called
The Better Baby Institute. Now I think it’s called the Institute for Human Potential,
And you can find it online. And I was reading their books. And I said,
This totally, I believe in this. I’m going to teach my kids to read. My kids
Were reading books by the time they were two. I took him into kindergarten,
I said, “What are you teaching them?”
“Well, we start with this letter A and this is letter B.” And I said, “Honey, go get a book
On the bookshelf to read to the teacher.” She picks up a book, she starts reading it,
they’re like, “Oh, my God!” I said, my kids have been reading for years. And but they
Couldn’t go into school because of the age role like you can only be –
You have to enter in. But Alexi exempted 11th grade, she moved to 10th to 12th grade.
They both grade graduated top 5% of their class and mostly had A’s all throughout.
They had the love of learning because I made learning a game.
And I said, I have three grandsons now. So I said, “Just do the same things
With your boys talk to them, like they understand you when they’re babies,
And they’ll talk sooner, and they’ll be when they do start talking, they’re going to
Really understand a lot more and I watched them progress. And it’s fascinating.
I love it. You know that the teachers … on how they learned.
All four of them were potty trained by 18 months. Now my current two year old
Is talking up a storm and reading and she’s counting to 10 and sign language
And in English.
That kind of stuff. It’s crazy. Like how quickly they learned when you –
There’s their brains are sponges from zero to five. So any parents that’s
Missing out on that learning curve and making learning fun, and the game
Is really, really missing out on giving their child the edge for the rest of their lives.
That’s a good point, too. Because one of the things that I’ve always sort of
Believed and I think more people, more parents should particularly take advantage of.
My goal as a parent is to give my child more resources than I had. And I had a lot.
My dad worked his ass off to give me a big step up. And that’s how we progress
As a society is by sending our children forth with more than we had.
We want our children –
My daughter hit over a million dollars last year as a 36 year old global coach.
So you teach the mindset for success. early on. I remember, she was sitting there
Watching the TV commercial for Save the Children, they had the little
Children in Africa. They’re starving. She goes, “Mom, I’m going to go to Africa and
Take care of those kids one day,” and I said, “You know what? I totally believe you will.”
And by 20 she goes on and put water wells in Africa. It’s like, “Okay, this has been
A dream of yours for a long time.” Figure out. And she put it on her own.
I didn’t do it for her. She and her best friend.
Have you considered putting together a program for parents. So you’re teaching
These mindsets, but like how they can then put those into and teach their kids those mindsets?
I haven’t built it yet.
And I know I should. I know I should. It’s on the …
I will buy it.
I should. Thank you. Because I’ve taught a lot of parental education and
Teacher education in the schools, as well. As a SAC counselor.
Absolutely. So let’s talk a little bit about that. So that would be like a tool
In your tool belt, right? It’s knowing how to pass those mindset,
That thinking on to someone else. We talked on the show about your heroes tool belt
Things like, Thor has this magical hammer, maybe you just really love the way
Evernote helps you organize your thoughts. What are some of the tools that
You use on a daily basis to do what you do in your business. To do what you do
To help coach people –
Well, my Live and Love books are part of my curriculum, and my hundred and
Fifty-page notebook, everybody says their gold. That’s where the gold is.
These were worksheets I put together. Some are from where I got my training,
RCI Relationship Coaching Institute, however many I developed on my own
Around the research on trauma and how it impacts adults in their lives.
So my clients fill them out, and they get them back to me. And it’s kind of like
Biblio therapy or journaling therapy, as they write. This is how I interpreted
As a clinical trauma professional. Now, like I have somebody write
All about their dad. And then I said, “But you realize in that two-page story
You didn’t say one thing about your mom?” I said, “So she was pretty absent in your life, huh?”
The father was really a monster and the mom checked out because
She was afraid to stand up to the husband. So I see things like that through the writing.
And then we go through the worksheets, and with that, that helps me
To coach them, and it’s very individualized, based on the workbooks.
So then I have the online schools.
But really where’s the – the tools come in?
But then I have the online school, which is a self-study program. And has PowerPoints,
Audios, videos and worksheets in there. For anyone that wants to sign up
At that level, which is called our mastery level. That’s the introductory level.
Interesting. I love how often, writing comes up for entrepreneurs,
As a tool to get things done? And the way to think and see what’s going on?
Do you think there’s any sort of – Why do you think that is? Why do you think
Writing is such a powerful tool for, in your case, for helping people-
Its getting your ideas out in a concrete way. And also that, then does we have
A goal setting system that we put in place once our ideas are out. Where are
They going to go? Do you need one week, two weeks, one month?
What’s the best order to do these? That we do is what we call outside
Of the box thinking? Which my boss from this radio station said, “Hon, you always
Got to come up with something that makes you different from everybody else.”
So, when I’m brainstorming with people, part of life coaching in my company,
Is also helping people get businesses off the ground. So it’s like what is your niche?
What is going to make you special? What’s going to make you different from
Every other life coach out there. I am the only life and love coach that’s also
A certified clinical trauma professional, and a psychotherapist. So, I put all these
Hats on to help my people. First, heal have self-love and then go on
To create their dreams. Help them create. If part of their dream is getting
Out of the job they hate, then part of my job is to brainstorm with them,
To help them create that life, that career that they would really love.
So something you just reminded me of that I want to bring up real quick. I know
Probably not a lot of our audience is terribly religious, but one of the – you mentioned
Self-love as being a tool. And I know, scripturally speaking, one of the things
That when I think it’s Peter asks Christ, he says, “What are the greatest commandments?”
And he says something of, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul,
Mind and strength” and then, “Love your neighbor, as you love yourself.”
So, there’s an assumption that you love yourself. And, it’s interesting how many people
Don’t have that own assumption in their life that they don’t start with that.
They don’t start with “I love myself,” and then they can’t love their neighbors.
You’re talking about how relationships are being made because they don’t have that.
That assumption that Christ has, that you’re going to love yourself, because you have
That spark of divinity that you have, the worthiness of being loved.
I really liked Ernest Holmes in the Science of Mind Philosophy. That’s what I study now.
Plus, I like the Course of Miracles. But they’re all the higher books are saying
The same thing must have self-love, despite what your circumstances,
One that you came from, you have to have the self-love before you can love another.
So, some people come in with such low self-esteem and guilt-ridden and not happy
And really down on themselves. And we have to start there, that unfortunately,
In our culture, somebody breaks up the next day, they go online and
Go back out there today, right? It’s like, no, that’s the wrong thing to do.
You have to stop, regroup, get yourself back, first. Spend some time in
Making you feel terrific again.
We’ve been talking a lot about entrepreneurship and things like that, and business
And being a coach. And in those things, if you don’t have that foundation,
You’re not going to be able to go out and actually have a mission and
Have a driving force that’s helping other people that’s going to have an impact
Beyond yourself. So if you don’t-
If you don’t have yourself taken cared of, not only will be able to love your neighbors.
You won’t be able to build a business that really succeeds and thrives.
Yes, like that mindset for survival, for success. That I had at 25 years old that
Made me leave that toxic marriage and go from modeling talent school.
Open it up just because I believed I could do it. That in prayer, and I couldn’t get
At 26 years old and two little kids to take care of, what made me survive that
Alone because I just had that three quarters of a million dollar bankruptcy.
And still feel I can do this. And I just, again, getting the mindset focused,
Setting up your daily goals, your weekly goals, your monthly goals,
Your six month goals, your one year goal and proceeding each day
Towards those goals. And believing that you can. Faith is everything and
Faith is not religion. Faith is that belief that your God-given self, this higher person
Within you can accomplish what it is your dreams, your goals. And eventually,
That should be serving your purpose in life. We’re all here for a reason.
What is that? You know, Richard? I’m also Reverend Rihanna. A lot of people
Don’t know that. I mean, I’ve been doing marriage ceremonies since 1997.
It’s one of my other businesses. I created it and I love it. But yes, I mean,
That spiritual faith, no matter what you want to call it, whether it’s Judaism or
Christian or Muslim, there’s a higher order a higher faith belief system.
And you’ve got to find it because that is what’s healing, it makes you feel your best.
It gives you that confidence that you are here for a reason. And it helps you make
Your mission and purpose in life crystal clear. So gets you through the tough times.
And by the way, also up on the number of marriages. I went to a Bible college
And actually have a degree in preaching.
I know I saw that
So that’s a it’s a thing I do. But anyway –
Push forward just a little bit on this and talk about your own personal heroes, right.
So, Frodo had Gandalf, Luke had Obi Wan, Robert Kiyosaki has Rich Dad.
Who are some of your heroes, where they real-life mentors? Are they authors,
Speakers, people who are just a few years ahead of you and
How important were they to what you’ve accomplished so far?
Well, for business, like I said, the sales manager at the radio station Philadelphia
Taught me a whole lot about marketing, PR promotion, working with
The general public. He was phenomenal. But I was always a reader. As a young kid,
I remember, in second grade, I won an award for reading the most books
In the year, it was 99. I said, “Nope, it was 100.” That was my goal. “But you
only recorded 99.” But they were almost all biographies. So I was always learning.
Love to learn. So I started there. And then it’s 16. Unfortunately, my best friend
Was killed by a drunk driver. And it really made me question how much life do I have left?
When is it going to be my turn and I have to make a difference in life now
For me and for Michael. And then my Penn State roommate is 33 years and fortunately
Was murdered by her boyfriend in a domestic violence incident. And we she was 23
I was 24. And again, it was a wake up call. How much time do I have left?
And this was part of my mission. I became a drug and alcohol counselor
To get back in Michael’s name. And I was an advocate for people of domestic violence
Men, women and children because of current situation. So, these real life situations
Made me think and be different. In my 20s I really like Marianne Williamson
And the Course of Miracles. Tony Robbins, I always loved his work. Napoleon Hill,
Think and Grow Rich. Ernest Holmes, I’m reading right now, This Thing Called You
About your spiritual, Divine Self. So, always reading. My coaches that I’ve had,
My business coach was Lisa Sasevich, I signed up at the highest level,
The diamond level, I worked with her for a year. And John Lee Dumas
Was my podcast coach, and he’s phenomenal. And I’m still working with him.
And Dean Graziosi right now is a program out with Tony Robbins, and I’m learning
A lot from Dean, I think he’s terrific. And I’m also learning a lot from my daughter,
Alexi Panos, who is speaking all over the world. She’s been coaching since
For eight years now, I think, and she’s been doing it full time more than I have.
I was the the traditional psychotherapist. So you know, what’s really working for her,
I always go to her for advice. And isn’t that cool, the parent can go to the child,
In high respect, and say, “I need to learn this. Help me!” which is really great.
So I’m always opening to learning new skills and new techniques that will help me
To reach my clients in a better way, or teach them in a better way.
Absolutely. And I love that you’ve gotten to a point with your children that
You’re actually learning from them.
I was just just telling my best friend, a business partner the other day that
I’m pretty excited. My oldest has gotten to the point where we can do things together.
Where I don’t have to do the parenting. Things like, we can go kayaking together.
And the two of us can go and we can kayak together. And I’m not teaching him and,
I’m not parenting him as we kayak, if that makes sense.
Yeah, youre just hanging out as buddies.
We’re just hanging out as buddies.
All my other kids are younger. So everything we do is parenting.
Yes, it is.
It’s a cool place to be where we can do something together that we’re just buddies.
And I think it’s really cool when you get to a point where you have that
Kind of relationship where you can go to your child and actually learn from them.
I love my kids company. They’re bright, they’re intelligent, are also learners, readers.
Always challenging themselves and feeling confident about those challenges.
It’s really nice to have them as your adult friends.
Absolutely. As one of my favorite parts of growing up was that transition from
Being my parents’ child to being a peer, if that makes sense. That transition in
The relationship was one of my favorite parts of growing up. … parents now because of it.
Anyways, I look forward to doing that again, as my children grow up. So on the other side,
Every stage with the kids is really amazing. Wait until you become a grandparent,
It’s like, “Oh, my God!” then you see these little babies growing up that you help make.
They’re your kids, too. So it’s fascinating.
We call the circle of life, when you have a grandchild come.
She’s like, I love you a lot. It was fun. But being a grandparent is way better.
I can say, it’s hard because I don’t live where I live now. So I have to, go and visit.
But it just, luckily, today we have the FaceTime, we have the Alexa is that
You can see them like almost in real life. It’s really close, where my mom didn’t
Have that with my children when they were growing up.
So the technology is really helpful.
So let’s bring it home for our listeners a little bit and talk about
Your guiding principles. What are the top one or two things that you do,
On a daily basis that contribute to your success and the influence
That you enjoy today. Ones that maybe you wish you knew when you got started?
Just recapping, I mean, really, since my 20s, I’ve been constantly learning
And reading and one of my favorite days off is going to the beach
With a great book, goal setting for success that’s been happening since my 20s.
And that’s why I’ve been reaching a lot of my entrepreneurial goals.
Everything I set my mind to I’m able to do. I like to create new programs and
New challenges think outside of the box, what’s different, to grow my business
And to bring cutting edge programs to my clients. And I’m always thinking
What makes me different, as the entrepreneur. Like I said, there’s tons of life,
People out there calling themselves life coaching or love coaches. So what makes
My programs different, and they’re very, very different. And, that’s nice, because
Then, you get known as the expert. Known as life love transformation expert,
Especially around anything trauma related. So those principles,
I think that’s probably one of one of the most important things you’ve said,
And the whole conversation we’ve had today is learning how to communicate,
Like, what your differenc is and how to communicate it. Or are universally
Applicable to all entrepreneurs, whether or not you’re creating a product
That you’re selling on Amazon, or getting in retail stores, to doing life coaching,
To building programs, whatever it is you’re doing, you have to be able to identify
Your difference and then communicate that difference to an audience
If you’re going to sell anything. Do you have any tips for learning
How to find your difference, whether it’s you know, for a product or a coach,
Or whatever it is that you’re doing, and how you –
I call it outside of the box thinking now keep in mind, I’ve been doing this
Since a teenager, so it comes so naturally for me. But you have to research your topic.
If you’re a love coach, what are the love coaches doing? And then you got to say,
What are they not doing? And where’s my area of expertise. Now, it’s also really
Important as a coach, you have what we call a hero’s journey. In other words,
You’ve gone through this problem, this pain, and you’re on the other side of it,
And this is what then becomes your, I have a quote, unquote: Your pain becomes
Your purpose and your passion and your purpose. Your pain becomes your purpose
And your passion. So if you can turn that around, and I needed to research,
I mean, I had eight psychotherapy friends that I had to go to and it’s like,
“Why is my husband acting like this?” and they’re like, “We have no idea.”
So I’m going to figure it out. And that’s what started my journey to
Uncovering childhood trauma, because I needed those answers for my own healing.
And I’m like, this is fascinating, nobody’s talking about this. I didn’t learn this
In my triple masters. This has to get out there. And that’s how I said,
“Nobody else was doing it.” So that’s how I became the trauma professional that I am.
One of the ways that I teach that idea to my clients, is we do a lot
Of instructional design and stuff with with my clients is, this idea that you have, your client.
The person that you’re speaking to, is someone who’s on some sort
Of a journey themselves, right there on their own hero’s journey wanting to
Accomplish something. And, they’re on one side of what I call the crocodile and …
And the crocodile, or they’re looking to accomplish, to get across, the transformation
They want to make. And that river, you know, it’s infested with crocodiles,
And it’s got, whirlpools in it, man. It’s got other things that are going
To slow them down or have problems with. And I want to get to the other side
Of the river, which is the promised land, and they want to live life on the other side
In the promised land. And so when you come along with your coaching,
Or your program or your product, that is like bringing them a boat, and then
They can get in the boat, and they can go across the river and your boats cool.
It’s kind of, it’s a crocodile disintegrating lasers, and GPS, and all that kind of stuff.
Those are like the features of your program. But the thing that sets your boat apart
From all the other boats that are options for them … With you as the captain?
And that is, you have perspective that no one else has. Because you’ve been
On this journey before. You have avoided the cracked pile successfully,
Or you’ve helped other people do that. And learning how to nail down that
The importance of – for you and for your programs, is you, that uniqueness that you
Were talking about. And learn to communicate that uniqueness to your audience
So they’ll go and get on the boat with you. And you can help make that transformation.
It’s being authentic to really understanding their problem. If someone else
Tried to do what I’m doing, and they haven’t been through my same journey.
So they haven’t worked 20 years with people and trauma and then put together
This around love. Because it happened to me in love relationships, right?
Trauma happened to me and love relationships. And everybody thinks I had
A pretty normal childhood. But once you investigate, and I put all those different
Work experiences together. Why were these teams running away from home?
Why are these kids bullying everybody else in the school? What’s going on?
How can I help them and you know, make a friend and be more friendly,
And what is their pain that they’re going through. So it’s really a unique story for me.
And when you feel that you’re tapping into your own hero’s journey,
Then you enjoy the journey. It’s, yes, you want to get to the other side.
But you also enjoy all the learning in between and what we call becoming evolved,
Which is being your highest and your best self. So when you’re living this purpose,
Mission driven life and you’re helping other humans, and they feel your energy.
And your understanding and your empathy towards their pain, they open
Their heart and their mind too, so they trust you. And then, because they know
You’ve been through the same thing, and then when they’re learning
And they’re changing. When they’re done, they’re so excited about their life
And their transformation. They’re teaching others. So I just had a podcast
With one of my grads, Olia, who is a Russian immigrant. Came here with
Enough money to own in her pocket to get here, at 18 years old, came alone.
And just she was dramatically tortured in Russia. And then she had
One bad relationship and another one than a bad marriage for 10 years.
And she called me crying after hearing me on a podcast or
For hurricane Irma. But I’m like, “Look, I’m going to talk to you right now
A relationship summit, actually. And I was running around preparing my house
The electric might go out any second, it might be a week before I call you back.
But I want to talk to you right now.” And she said, “I just felt so loved and nurtured
Because you stopped and you cared. And you understood what I was going through.”
And it’s like, I want to work with her. So, you have to really feel what you’re doing
Is important to give to the world. And when you do, it’s not about selling someone.
It’s about understanding and being the answer for their pain.
That’s what success in business is.
It’s really connecting with that authentic …
Uniqueness that you have, because no one else can do what you do.
And you know, one of the reasons probably why your program is so successful
Is because you’re helping people understand their uniqueness. And once they learn
To understand and love themselves and move forward with that stuff that
No one else can do, what they were put here to do. You have their story
And their uniqueness, and then you want to make the same kind of impact
With whatever it is that they’ve been given to do.
Super powerful. Like Olia went on to be a health coach. And she said,
“I needed to have a business to support me and my son,” I said, “Let’s do that
“In your coaching. This is part of life, I’ll do that.” So, she was she transformed so much.
I wanted her to be one of my coaching coaches, as well. And her business went up
So much with all the activitiess we we put in place that she’s too busy to be
One of mine just now. But she’s another one of my testimonials about
How this program really works. So she is now helping people that are struggling
In health who have childhood trauma. overcome that because she understands it.
So this is how the mission gets spread. One person that I teach is teaching others
When they see someone in pain, they know what it is.
It’s amazing it is like a small global effects.
That basically brings us to the end of our show, I got two more things that I do.
One of them, I call the HERO challenge. Your challenge is pretty simple.
And I do this all my guests and basically it’s; Do you know someone in your network
That you think has a really good story, an entrepreneurial story that they should
Come and share on the podcast? And who are they and why do you think
They should come share their story?
Okay, well, probably Olia, who I just shared her story with,
Who came to this country at 18, couldn’t speak the language with nothing. No cash,
Except to get here and went through hell and relationships. To be on the other side,
Is now this successful health coach who’s happy has an amazing relationship.
She told me they just bought an ocean-home front, home together. I mean,
This, she’s living the American dream, and she loves her business.
She’s helping people have extreme health. So yeah, I can give your name.
She’d be thrilled to talk to you. And I have a lot of people that I’m thinking of.
But that stands out in my mind, because I just mentioned her.
Awesome. So last thing is I know, we mentioned this couple of times,
Where can people find you? If they are looking to go through one of these programs?
And more importantly, who’s the kind of person that should reach out
And go through your programs? If they’re listening to this and
They’re thinking to themselves, “Should I reach out or not?”
Who’s the person that should? “Yes,” Should say, “Yes, I should reach out and come find you.”
Okay, well, this is an interesting area. I work with men, women, straight and
LGBQ population from 16 to 76, or older. And the reason is,
Childhood trauma has no prejudice. So anyone that knows that they’re suffering
Ss an adult today in life and love, or they’re going off to college,
And they’re feeling really panicked about that, or they’re back home
And graduated from college, and they don’t know where to get started
To start their life and have a career or a woman out of a 23 toxic year relationship
Just got divorced. And it’s like, “Oh my god, how do I start over?”
“I haven’t dated for 23 years.” Or man, that was just ripped off by a sociopathic woman
Who he loved and is hurting, you know, and needs to heal. And why is he
Attracted to people that keep hurting him over and over again.
So I have many different people with many different stories.
But, it’s unbelievable that the base root of the pain is childhood trauma.
So the best thing is, if you’re kind of recognizing yourself in those 10 traumas,
Reach out to me at my website, it’s https://rianamilne.com and there is a pop up form
To meet with me it’s a very low rate. And it’s a limited first time special going on.
And I give you several assessments and we need for an hour on Skype.
And then, I get to the bottom of the root of your issues that are keeping you stuck.
There’s positive free chapter downloads of both Live and Love Beyond Your Dreams
On that homepage. As well as, free love tests and childhood trauma checklist
Is on there. So I want everyone to do that. And then if you want more information
On the childhood trauma checklist and what I’m talking about, I have a free ebook
And it’s at http://havetheloveyoudeserve.com, http://havetheloveyoudeserve.com
And of course my podcast Lessons in Life and Love, every Friday comes out
https://lessonsinlifeandlove.com I have an app, Lessons in Life and Love on the Go
It’s free to download, so you’ve got articles, videos, audios, I’m kind of all over the place.
I’m also on Alexa. So, Daily Lessons in Life and Love. So just put my name in there.
I’ll pop up, Riana Milne.
So, it’s for those of you who are thinking about it, it’s www dot Riana,
R-I-A-N-A Milne M-I-L-N-E dot com. And that’s the right place to reach out to you?
That’s the best start.
Also, thank you so much for coming on the show Riana. This has been a really
Fascinating conversation. I’ve never even discussed childhood trauma
With anyone before. So it’s super fascinating …
It’s noon. Thank you.
And how it affects entrepreneurs and affects what we’re doing. And I just love
How you connected it to your higher purpose, right, being able to get to the things
That you should be doing to help people. That’s really what the show is all about.
It’s about helping people, connect with their story and realize and hopefully,
Through seeing someone like using your story and seeing how they can
Do the same kind of thing in their lives. So anyway, it’s been really fascinating.
Glad You Came on.
Thank you, Richard, for having me. And by doing that you’re helping to spread
The message of changing the way the world loves. So I thank you very much on that.
And I’m sure we’ll see each other again down the road.
Absolutely. Thank you very much for coming on today.
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What Is The Hero Show?
A peak behind the masks of modern day super heroes. What makes them tick? What are their super powers? Their worst enemies? What's their kryptonite? And who are their personal heroes? Find out by listening now