Episode 047 – Scott Harvey
Welcome to another episode of The HERO Show. I am your host Richard Matthews, (@AKATheAlchemist) and you are listening to episode #47 with Scott Harvey – Law Enforcer Turned Professional Speaker on Communication & Technology.
Scott Harvey spent 20 years as an FBI trained Hostage Negotiator and a Public Information Officer, doing hundreds of on camera media interviews, when he served as a Sergeant in the police world. He now speaks to organizations about High Impact Communication. With over 500 paid presentations to over 100,000 people, Scott has learned the power of communication and storytelling to connect with people, build trust, and drive sales.
As a Hostage Negotiator, Scott was trained to talk with people in crisis. Lives were, literally, on the line in these conversations. This training also serves him well at home since he has been married for 22 years and is a father of two teenage girls. It seems like there is ALWAYS a crisis of some sort to deal with!
As a Public Information Officer, Scott learned the power of leveraging all forms of media (television, radio, newspaper, and social media) to get information to the public to build trust. In a crisis is when we need to be communicating the most, but that is often when we are silent. The story WILL go out. Shouldn’t we be the ones telling it? High Impact Communication is what sets us apart in our communication driven world even before there is any kind of crisis. In today’s world, you are either communicating effectively or you are being left behind. Scott has built a career on making sure no one is left behind!
Here’s just a taste of what we talked about today:
- Speaking about responsible use of technology
- Speaking about high impact communication.
- Advice to parents with teenagers and technology.
- It’s never too early to have conversations with your kids.
- The evolution of technology in 10 years.
- The future of the digital native generation.
- From hostage negotiator to public speaker.
- Law enforcement is a clean up business.
- Transitioning through the D.A.R.E. Program.
- Using vacation time to pull off speaking gigs.
- Teaching our kids to be good communicators to be ahead of their peers who are focused on their phones.
- The psychology behind membership fees.
- A natural inclination towards a skill but honed through time.
- Different types of people can improve on a skill in different ways.
- The fact is, there is no longer a break between your personal social media and work account.
- Never forget to think twice before posting anything on the web.
- Fear of how communication is perceived is the biggest villain.
- When something goes wrong, of course you can’t talk about the whole problem but you have to at least say something.
- Your existing customers are probably some of the most forgiving people.
- People don’t leave companies. People leave people.
The HERO Challenge
Today on the show, Scott Harvey challenged Irvin Magaña to be a guest on The HERO Show. Scott thinks that Irvin is a fantastic interview because he had every reason to be a victim in the world, however, he went out hustling for himself. He’s out there connecting with people and serving people. It’s exciting to see Irvin’s business grow take off.
How To Stay Connected With Scott Harvey
Want to stay connected with Scott? Please check out his social profiles below.
Call To Adventure
Don’t forget you can stay connected to me and the show by subscribing now. Just text ALCHEMY to 444999. Or you put your email address in the box at the bottom of this page. You’ll get all sorts of cool gifts, be updated about our contests and polls, and get notified when we publish new episodes. With that… let’s get to listen to the episode…
The Webinar Alchemy Workshop: https://richardmatthews.me/fs/waw-slf/
Hello, and welcome back to the Hero Show. My name is
Richard Matthews and I am on the line today
With Scott Harvey. Scott, are you there?
I am here. Yes, sir.
Glad to have you here, Scott. Let me do a quick
Introduction for you. And then we’ll get in. Start talking
About your story and entrepreneurship. Scott Harvey
Spent 20 years as an FBI trained hostage negotiator.
He’s an actual real-world superhero and a public
Information officer doing hundreds of on camera
Media interviews, when he served as a sergeant
In the police world. He now speaks to organizations
About high impact communication with over 500
Paid presentations to over 100,000 people.
Scott has learned the power of communication and storytelling
To connect with people build trust and drive sales.
What I want to talk about real quick, Scott,
Is what you’re known for now. Why is it
That people hire you? Why did they bring you
On stage to speak? What is it that you teach
When you do that?
Great question. I’m known for speaking and coaching,
Right now. More so, the speaking than the coaching
And the people that contact me are wanting one
Of two things because I speak to really kind of two
Different buckets of people. One is middle
And high school students, which I do a lot of schools.
Most of those are centered around responsible use
Of technology, which is 100% of the communication lane
That I’ve kind of positioned myself in. I’m teaching
Students about social media, cyberbullying, sexting,
All of the stuff that they kind of figured out on their own.
When I worked for the police department, in addition
To the negotiation stuff, I taught the DARE Program;
I supervised school resource officers. So, I’m in
The schools all day, everyday, when I was working
For the police department when I wasn’t answering
Other calls. And so that was a kind of a natural outflow
Of that. And then for corporations and businesses,
What I speak to them about is high impact communication.
It’s how to deal with employees and customers.
Even under a stressful situation. How to tell your story,
Even when your story is not popular. I think in today’s
Communication world when there is a lack
Of communication, everybody becomes suspect
Of what’s going on. And so we have no excuse
Not to communicate today. But when everything
Hits the fan for lack of a better term, companies
Tend to shut down which, to me,
Is the most damaging thing they can do.
That makes a lot of sense. I have an interesting,
I’m not sure why this is this way. But I actually
Still remember from fifth grade, my dare officer,
His name was officer Correo. For whatever reason,
His name, his face, it’s stuck to my head my entire life.
I still remember everything we went over in that class
In the fifth grade. And we didn’t live in a small town
Or anything. There was 100,000 people so there was
A lot of cops but I ran into officer Correo, maybe
Three or four… In the dare program stuff. So you probably
Are having a bigger impact with kids
Than you might realize.
I have run into students before who are 26 years old
Because I had them when they were 10—27, 28 now—
And they’re like: You were my dare officer, you probably
Don’t remember me. I’m like: Well, you were 10
Last time we met. So, I don’t know your name,
But you have to let me know. You’re a lot bigger,
Now, and a lot older, and you have a beard.
Puberty has changed you a bit.
It has but it’s cool that they still remember me
And that we still cross paths in the big world today.
I specifically remember one instance when…
Are you in California at all?
I’m not very often though. I’ve been out there
A few times for conferences.
Are you familiar with, in cop terms, The California Roll?
When you stop at a stop sign and roll through it.
One time my dad rolled through a stop sign
That officer Correo just happened to be watching
That day and pulled my dad over. It was like:
Do you realize you rolled through that stop sign?
And while that was happening, and we were chatting
Back and forth because he had just taught…
So I knew him and he had he had met my dad there
So he was chatting with my dad or whatnot.
And as he was doing that, we had four kids
Rode across in front of the car that didn’t have
Their helmets on their bikes. He stopped all the kids and he came
Back over. He was like: I’m sorry, I’m letting you off
On the California Roll because I gotta give tickets
To all these kids who are not have their helmets on
That’s more important. Anyways, that’s just stories
That popped into my head from my dare officer,
But I did have one other question for you on,
And this is just personal because I have a bunch
Of kids. I’ve got four kids on my own. And I’m just curious
How this plays out because my oldest is just getting
To the point where he’s starting to text and talk
To his friends a lot. Puberty is just around the corner,
Which means all that: I have to start teaching responsibility
With communication and sexting and all that stuff.
What kind of advice do you give parents who are in
That situation where they’re getting their kids
Are just getting to the point where they have to start
Using this technology. And you don’t want to,
What’s the word, they don’t want to shield them from it.
I don’t want to disadvantage them
By not letting them learn how to use it responsibly.
How do you teach that or what are some
Of your encouragements for parents for that area?
What I do with parents. My kids are 19 and 14 and so
I’m in the middle of these trenches, right now.
That’s where a lot of my material comes from,
But the biggest thing I equate it to is teaching a kid
To drive a car. In the state of Kentucky where I live,
Once a kid turns 16, they have to spend six months
With someone over the age of 21 in the passenger seat
Of the car, and they have to accumulate,
It’s like 60 hours of driving time they have to log it,
It’s a lot. Because driving is super important.
And if we don’t teach them how to drive safely,
They’re going to crash and they could kill themselves
Or other people. And I equate the same thing
With technology. We’ve got to stop handing 4-year olds
iPhones, and letting them figure it out on their own.
And assuming 10 years later, when they’re 14
That they know everything they need to know.
We’ve not taught them anything about that.
My life would have been a lot less stressful if I never
Had to teach my oldest daughter to drive a car
Because that six months was a stressful time.
You have in your prayers.
Yes, even though she’s a great driver and I trust her
Completely. It just was stressful, but it would cripple her
If I didn’t teach her how to drive. And technology,
To me, is kind of the same way. It’d be a lot less stressful
If our kids did no technology. But there comes a point
When they start being teenagers where that technology
Is a necessary part of their life. And we have to,
Instead of just throwing the baby out with the bathwater,
So to speak, we have to teach them how to
Responsibly use it. And one of the biggest things
I tell parents is if it’s a phone, a tablet, whatever,
You paid for it, it’s yours. It’s on your billing plan.
You set the rules for it, and they’re welcome
To follow those rules or not have the technology.
We just have to step into that role.
And one of the biggest one for parents is that
Technology charges in our bedroom at night.
No student needs 24-hour access to their technology because
The brain research is pretty clear without an eight-hour break
Of the drama, that is social media. They’ll start getting anxiety,
Depression, PTSD, all of these things that, my brain
Needs an eight-hour break so my phone goes into night mode
At a certain time and eight hours later in the morning,
It wakes back up. And the only way that you can get
Through that is to physically call me old school,
Which means it’s an emergency. And so text notifications,
All that stuff don’t make any noise in the middle
Of the night for me. And if I need that, of course,
Kids need that too. And we have,
They’re not going to want that. But they would also
Eat candy every day for every meal if we let them
So we have to set parameters that keep them safe.
Our mind went to a …
So we do the same thing in our house where the technology
At least, recently Nico; hear my kids screaming
In the background, they’re crying about something.
It’s getting easier to manage, with things like on
Apple’s system … time now, connect or shut their devices off
At certain times. I’m like, have time limits for certain stuff,
Which is really nice. And I’ve been encouraging friends
And other family members to make sure they learn
How to use those things?
Because they’re not, as a parent,
I guess you have to actually like look for it
To turn them on and actually use them.
So, I tried to make sure that we’re using all that stuff.
And making sure but then also, particularly having discussions
With my son about, it doesn’t matter who you’re talking to,
You don’t give them your address. You don’t tell them
Where you’re at, that kind of stuff.
And I’m just being safe with – At this point,
Everyone he’s talking to, we approve.
Because he’s using things like Facebook Messenger,
But even when they’re friends and friend’s parents
And stuff like that, these are the rules and
You follow these rules in a safe environment.
So when you get to an environment that is
An open road, you know what the rules are?
Even before a kid starts using social media and technology,
I recommend parents sit down with their kids and
Surf their social media with their kid and
Show them posts and texts and tweets. And ask them,
What do you think is going to come from this?
What do you – how do you read this? What kind of attention
Is this person going to get? Because there are tweets out there
Designed only to get attention.
There are Instagram posts designed to only get attention.
When they start to use it. It’s the same reason that
I would tell my kids about turn signals and stop signs
When they were 10 because when they were 16,
They would draw back on that information that they learned
When they were 10 to be a safer driver.
So I think you can have discussions.
And when we start exposing our kids to that and
Unpacking it with them, they’ll understand a little bit more
And I think you have to –
I have a –
I have a current problem with my two and a half year old
Who knows what the red, yellow and green lights are.
And has become quite the backseat driver.
And as soon as the light turned green, she’s like,
“Go Daddy! Go!”
And I’m like, “There’s cars in front of me, honey.”
She’ll get all upset if I don’t step on the gas the moment it turns green.
Yes, she’s got places to go.
So I totally get that. But that makes a lot of sense
To actually, show them what you’re doing with social media
And how you use it. And it’s really interesting because
For me, particularly, my graduating class in high school,
I graduated college before Facebook or social media,
I think I graduated college in 2007. And YouTube went public in 2006.
And Facebook went, like started becoming available
To colleges in like 2006. And it wasn’t, so it was barely brand new.
So I basically graduated college without social media,
But my brother who was three years behind me,
Grew up in high school and in college, with social media,
Completely changed for … It’s very different
Eucational experience and it’s vastly different
For our children. Because they’re growing up
In a place where they have access to all the world’s information
All the time at their fingertips. And it’s interesting because
Everything all the way down to, how do you educate your kids
In a world where they have access to everything.
And, instead of memorizing stuff, teaching them how to think
About accessing information that’s already there.
And teaching them how to think in terms of search queries,
And all sorts of stuff. It’s just really interesting discussion
And thing that, as parents, we have to learn how to navigate
All this for our children. And it’s not something that
We can ask our parents because they didn’t do it.
Exactly. And we have no excuse to not know as parents,
We can Google anything. Google is very intuitive.
You can type a question into Google,
It will give you the answers. But we’re an iPhone family.
We’re a Mac family, and so we’ve only ever had iPhones
And the nice thing about that from a parenting standpoint
Is we have one Apple ID that allows for purchases.
My kids don’t have, my youngest does not have the password
For that she has to send me a request
For anything that she wants to download, including free stuff.
So, that being said, she has nothing on her phone
That either my wife or I has not approved. Even free stuff.
And the 19 year old, she does have the password now
Because she’s an adult and I trust her. But at the same time
I have every one of her social media passwords,
Login information in an envelope that sealed in my desk drawer.
And I told her I’m not going to go into your social media but
God forbid if you ever go missing in college,
Your phone is going to be with you and so
I can’t access your social media without those login information.
And with that login information that does allow me
To see who have you been DM-ing? What plans did you make?
That kind of stuff that I can start putting
The pieces of the puzzle together. Now, my 14-year old
Because her phone charges in our bedroom at night,
The unwritten rule is we can open it anytime we want to.
My wife checks it periodically. Checks the text messages,
Make sure she’s acting appropriately. And as she gets older,
That will become less and less. As she shows she’s responsible
And that kind of stuff, will give more rope out.
But we can always pull that rope back in.
It was about Christmas of my oldest daughter’s senior year
In high school, and we allowed her to keep her phone
In her bedroom at night. Because she was,
In six months going to be getting ready to go to college
And on her own and she’d been responsible.
So but the understanding is during that six months at home,
If it’s an issue, we can pull it back in.
So let’s just have to have these conversations and
As they show they’re responsible,
You allow them more freedom,
Like anything else they’ve ever done.
I actually remember my drive to college. My mom went with us
To take us to college and cell phones were not
Really a thing yet. They just sort of started coming out.
Like the ones that like flip it apart, like candy bar phones.
My mom was like, “You need to get a phone
Iif you’re going to college.” And I was like,
“No, I don’t. I’m not buying a phone. And she’s like,
“You have to have a phone, you’re going 2500 miles away.”
This is a thing you have to have, really. And I told her, I was like,
“I’m not spending my money on a phone.” And so,
On the drive off to college, she handed me a box
With the phone in it. She was like, “I bought you a phone.
You have to have a phone, you’re going to call us.
So like there is this interesting discussion. Fifteen years later,
It’s just vastly different. Because our kids nowadays would
Never think about not going somewhere without their phone.
And you graduated in 2007. You said from college?
From college. Okay. See, I graduated college in ’97.
So only 10 years before you and when I look at –
I didn’t have a cell phone in college,
I knew nobody that had one except my my wife,
Who was my girlfriend at the time.
She had a bag phone for her drive to …
Weren’t those the big ones?
… Was a cigarette lighter and was attached with a cord.
I saw those.
I mean, that was only 10 years before you.
So that gives you an idea of how much technology has changed.
We had phones hanging on our dorm room,
The old landline, and you called someone’s dorm room.
And if you didn’t get it, you just didn’t get a hold of them.
And that was only 10 years that changed between you
Getting a cell phone as you went off to college
And me going through all of college without a cell phone.
And I graduated college, and a couple years later had my first kid.
And he’s 10 now. And by the time he was six months old,
He was using a cell phone. He wasn’t using his own,
He was playing with mine, but I couldn’t figure out
How to open it and taking pictures and that kind of stuff.
And that’s his baseline is so different than ours.
And it’s interesting to try and – to teach from something
That we had to learn as adults to something that
They’re just growing up with, it’s really interesting.
And I tell people, I think our kids will do a better job
With their kids when it comes to technology,
Because our kids are digital natives. We had to learn it,
And they’re going to understand better, than we
– As adults.
Yes. They’re going to understand better than we do.
The dangers and the pitfalls that we didn’t fully understand.
That being said, I’ve immersed myself in social media
And technology so that I can know how to
Responsibly teach others how to use it.
But I’m the exception, I realized that.
Most people aren’t as plugged in as I am.
That is absolutely true. I do the same thing because
I’m a digital marketing guy. So I’m constantly on this stuff
And learning it and keeping up on the bleeding edge of it,
Because that’s my clients pay me for.
So that’s the same kind of thing. So I feel like I have a bit
Of an advantage over other parents, which is why
I try to- Whenever we’re sitting around the fire
Talking with my friends, like “Hey, did you know you can do this
With Screen Time or you can do that?”
Or you like other things that you can take take advantage of
But it’s cool that you’re out actually teaching that.
Which leads me to my next question, which is your origin story.
Every hero has their origin stories where you started to realize
That you were different? That maybe you had superpowers?
That maybe you could actually teach people something,
Sort of how did that happen? How did you go from being
A hostage negotiator to being someone who is
Doing public speaking and teaching about communication?
So when I started in the police department back in 1997.
It’s when I hired in for every reason that everybody
Ever joined the police department, to help people
To be the person that rides in the shiny uniform and saves the day.
All of the superhero fantasies that we have as kids
Were a legitimate reason to get into the job.
And I didn’t realize, I guess going into it as much
That law enforcement is a clean up business for the most part.
Nobody ever calls us when they’re having a great day.
Nobody ever calls us to tell us keep up the good work.
They call us when it has hit the fan,
When the wheels have fallen off and I got a little tired
Of clean up very, very quickly. You can only load
So many people into body bags after they overdose
And clean up so many wrecks,
But then you start trying to get upstream of the problem.
And so about two, three years into my full time law enforcement,
I started getting involved in the DARE Program,
A a way to try to educate and to show students
That you can make better choices,
Regardless of what your parents are doing that kind of stuff.
And they’re just kind of morphed into.
Teaching a lot. I was teaching our citizens police academy.
I was doing a lot of teaching. And out of that
I was attending conferences and at those conferences,
I was sitting in other people’s classes as they taught
And I was learning and I was watching people
Speak for a living and then I started to realize
This is actually a thing that people do. And as I researched it,
I had a friend of mine that was organizing
A state conference for Safe Schools,
And she had one of her breakout sessions.
People back out about a month before the event.
And she contacted me. She says, “Do you have anything
You can teach in a breakout session?
I’ve just had someone backout. I’d love for you…”
Because I was going to be attending that conference anyways.
So I said, “I’ve been researching a lot of bullying.”
Because 10 years ago, that was a very hot topic.
We’re trying to figure out what to do about it.
And so I said, “I could talk about bullying,
“I could put a presentation together.” And so I did that.
And those people that were in that presentation
Were school principals, school resource officers,
Guidance counselors from across the state of Kentucky.
And they came up to me afterwards and they said,
“We would love for you to come and teach this
To our faculty at our school.” And I said,
“Well, you would have to at least cover my expenses.”
And so that’s how things started.
And then that turned into student presentations.
And I always knew when I hired in at the police department
At 23 years old that I was signing in for a 20-year,
I was just due to retirement. So I knew at 43 I would be
Eligible to retire. And I also knew that at 43,
I wasn’t going to be sitting at the house just collecting
A retirement check, I needed a second gig.
And back in 2010, when I started speaking
At these conferences, it just became a second job
That I knew I could do and could do well.
And I spent about nine years using vacation time
From the police department to speak all over the country
To do student presentations, mostly
And conferences here and there. But just kind of honing
That skill and using it as an extension of
What I was already doing in there. I was already helping people.
And the student presentations
And the faculty trainings I did was just an extension of that.
And having people come up to me afterwards connect
With me on social media, telling me that they really enjoyed,
They never thought of the things we talked about.
They’re going to make some changes. It was the time
That I realized this is what I’m supposed to be doing.
And the 20 years of law enforcement experience,
Well, a great job. And I don’t begrudge that.
It really gave me the stories, the credibility.
And the DARE Program gave me the chops, so to speak,
To transfer this to a full time career. And when I retired
From the police department, is when I launched
Kind of the corporate side of what I do
With the hostage negotiation stuff that I was trained in,
Communication is everything to me.
I’ve got a podcast called The Speaking of Harvey Podcast
That helps people grow and launch their speaking business.
Because if I did it, anybody can add speaking
To what they are already doing.
And communication is to me what is going to
Set our kids apart these days. If we teach our kids
To be good communicators face-to-face,
Then they’re going to be head and shoulders
Above their competition because the rest
Of their competition is buried in their phones.
And when we’re at a restaurant –
I have mentioned that more than once to my kids.
It’s huge. I get it for them. It’s easier if they don’t communicate.
But we go to a restaurant today, even and my 14 year old
Would rather I order for her. And I’m like, this is a,
Waiter, waitress. This is an adult, you can make eye contact,
You can have a conversation.
You can ask if you can substitute this and that,
Which is weird for a 14-year old
To want to change something.
But we’ve got to teach them to communicate face-to-face.
My oldest daughter, about two years ago,
When she was a senior in high school,
She actually went three months needing a haircut,
Because neither my wife or I would call
The salon and schedule her an appointment.
And she kept asking me, she said,
“Why can’t I just text an appointment? ”
“Why can’t I just schedule online?” I’m like, “It’s a phone call.
Just call these people asked to schedule it.”
And you know, she was a great communicator,
But it was just –
Promise, they won’t bite.
It was a weird thing for her and she’s very outgoing
And she’s very extroverted actually, but for some reason
Having a phone call with a stranger,
Making a request of them was an anxiety-producing for her.
So I just said, “I’m not doing it. I don’t need my hair cut; you do.”
So when you get up the gumption to call them,
Then you’ll get your hair cut. I mean, I’ll pay for it.
But I’m not making the appointment for you.”
And we just have to … we have to push them in these areas
So that they are forced to communicate.
Because whenever we’re in a restaurant, a store, something
And I see the stereotypical because they’re not every teenager,
But this is what we think, that is mumbling,
Is not making eye contact, is on their phone before you walk up.
Whenever we walk away, I look at my girls, and I said,
“Do you see where the bar is? You only have to be better than that.
To stand out in the workforce.
And I think –
If we’re teaching communication to our kids,
It’s going to benefit them and say what you want
About teaching them the technology. They know the technology,
They’re lacking the people skills. So let’s ramp up
The people skills and let’s make our kids better communicators.
Our businesses better communicators.
Because if I have nothing to hide,
Then I ought to be the one communicating.
So there’s two things I want to point out about that
That I think are really, really important. One of them is the idea
That making your kids better communicator
Is actually going to give them a leg up over everyone else.
And especially if they ever want to get into entrepreneurship.
And it doesn’t really matter what they’re doing,
But they have to learn to communicate.
One of the things, we do similar things like my kids,
As soon as they can talk, they order their own food
At restaurants. And I generally have to translate
Toddler speak for the waiter, but I make my toddlers
Order their own food. And we travel full time.
So my oldest, he’s got a lot more freedom
Than the younger girls. And whenever we go to new camp-ground,
He grabs his walkie talkie and his bike and he goes up and down
The aisles, wherever we’re staying, looking for other kids’ bikes
And then goes and introduces themselves to the kids.
So lots of communication practice. And I talked to him
All the time. He’s like, “The biggest struggle
That we had is with learning to type.”
Because he’s looking at me he’s like,
“Why do I need to learn to type?” He’s like,
“I can just talk things to my phone.”
And I’m like, “That’s all well and good that you can
Talk things to your phone. And I’m sure at some point,
The vocal and output from computers is going to be good enough
That you can do everything you want with it, but it’s not there yet.
You might be the last generation that has to learn
How to type but you have to learn how to type.”
Like learn how to communicate and learn how to write.
His mom makes him write in cursive and stuff like that
For school work. And I was like, so things that they have to
Learn how to do and point out to them,
Like the kind of work that I do is all communication.
Like I get paid for writing and for talking and
Communicating with people.
So there’s a lot of education that goes into that.
But the other side of it, one of the things that
I’ve been pointing out to my kids and I’m curious if
You’re doing the same thing? Most of the children that you see,
And most of the Generation Z is what they’re calling the
The digital natives. They have that problem with communication.
And they are looking for solutions to problems like,
“Why can’t I just tech to make a hair appointment?”
And to me that screams opportunity for someone
Who knows how to communicate because that means
If you can, just off top of my head, create an app
Or something that you can then go and sell to hair salons
That lets people text appointments because of your ability
To communicate, you can take advantage of that opportunity
That other people are looking for,
And create wealth and prosperity that the people
Who are wanting that are unwilling to communicate,
Won’t ever have that opportunity.
I think it’s great and to that point, my barber has an app
That I schedule my appointments through the app
And I love it. It’s easy for me I pay through the app kinda like Uber,
I don’t ever transfer money. When I go to the barber
He’s paid through the app. And he doesn’t have to stop
Cutting hair to make appointments. So it’s it’s a win-win.
And I have no problem with that.
But what I got on her about is these are the rules of the game
That you have to play if you want to get your hair cut at the time.
Until it changes, these are what we have to do.
And even though I don’t communicate with him until I get there
When I get in the barber’s chair, that’s all we do is talk.
And I pitched him an idea the other day because
I coach small business people now and and I told him
I said, “You know the holy grail of business today is the membership.”
I said, “If you can get a monthly membership to your barber shop-“
I said, because –
That’d be awesome.
He’s old school, he’s straight razors the edges.
He gives me a razor part. You know when he cuts it,
He does a great job and I said,
“The razor edges and the razor part last for about a week
Before that kind of grows to where you can’t tell, that’s what it is.”
I said, “If I could get a haircut, and 2 touch-ups a month.
I would pay you monthly to be a member of your barbershop
To allow me to just schedule those things to come in here.
And even if I don’t come in, you’re still getting paid.
And I’m not mad about it.” Those are the conversations
Where you see a need, you pitch it to the person
And it’s through the communication where you can improve
Their business, where I can be seen as kind of a guy
That has the ideas, even though and I told him, I said –
He goes, “Well, how would I do that?”
I said, “Well, I’m paying you through Stripe.
I promise you Stripe has a membership aspect that
You can be using, instead of–in addition to the app
You’re already using. It’s just a matter of seeing the need,
Like you said, pitching it to somebody who had
Never thought of it from a customer standpoint.
And saying, “This makes me happy as a customer.
Makes you happy as a business owner.
Why are we not doing this?”
I had a chiropractor who set up a chiropractic membership,
Where instead of doing the 1800 dollars for
Adjustments over six months or whatever he’s like,
“Hey, we do and all you can eat chiropractic membership,
You just come in once a week and we just –
You and your family and whatnot.
And I mean, he’s one of the largest practices in the city
And I’m in the business community pretty often
And the other chiropractors were all upset and like,
“That guy’s not a chiropractor. He does it wrong.”
And I’m like, “He does it wrong all the way to the bank,
And … the crap out of him.
We have membership karma. We have car washes,
You pay a monthly membership fee and you can
Go as many times as you want. And just like the gym membership,
They are wanting you to pay and not come really,
I mean, to an extent, they they want you to be healthier,
But if you’re not coming, you’re not putting
Wear and tear on their equipment.
And a membership is one of those funny things today
Where we’re not going to cancel it because I just might use it.
If we actually pull how many memberships we’re paying
Netflix, Hulu, all of these things we’re paying for
That we may or may not be using. But when it goes to cancel it,
But I might use that so I’m not going to cancel it,
It’s only $5 $6 a month, whatever it is.
And so if you can get our business on a membership type status,
There’s a lot of resistance to cancel memberships
Because it’s almost admitting failure.
I’m not going to cancel my gym membership
Because then I’m going to actually have to admit to myself
That I’m not going to be fit ever.
But if I’m signed on with a coaching client,
If they cancel that membership, then they’re on their own,
And they may or may not decide to do that.
There’s a lot of resistance with canceling a membership.
So I think from a business standpoint, it’s the next big thing.
And big companies are pushing people that direction.
Apple is really pushing the subscription model for apps.
And it’s interesting, I have some thoughts on that.
I get the feeling that people have a membership threshold
Beyond which they’re not going to continue to add memberships.
And I think it’s going to be interesting to see
Over the next couple of years, what types of memberships
At what levels really stick with people.
Because literally everything is moving to membership models,
Starbucks and the apps that you update your phone,
The music that you listen to, even Apple just released
The other day a gaming system like with Apple arcade.
You have unlimited access to video games from
Well-respected developers and stuff like that,
And they’re turning everything into memberships.
I agree with you, and it’s interesting to see
Where that’s going and what people’s appetite for
Memberships is going to be.
But I don’t know where that is and whether that’s good or bad,
But I think it’s like social media sort of took over
I feel nowadays, is that memberships are the new big thing.
So what I want to do is move on just a little bit
And start talking about your personal superpowers.
So what you do or build or offer this world that helps
Solve problems for people. And if you could narrow down
The one thing that you’re really skilled at
That you think really helps people when you’re speaking
In your opinion, what do you think that would be?
I’ve kind of touched on the fact that
I feel like communication is my niche.
And the student presentations fit into that.
How we’re communicating online
And the corporate presentations fit into that,
That even when what we’re doing is not popular,
We have to be communicating about it.
As a public information officer, I was constantly
Communicating to the media, even when or
Especially when there was an emergency,
So that they got to trust me, like me, know me.
So that when there was an emergency
And I didn’t have a ton of time to talk.
I already had the relationship built with him
Where that wasn’t weird because they knew –
Usually I’m talking if he’s not he must be busy
And he will come and talk to us as soon as he has a chance.
And so I think communication is definitely my niche.
It’s what I do. The speaking, the podcasting,
The coaching that I do. I facilitate a mastermind.
It’s all based around communication.
When you think about communication
In terms of a superpower. I’m curious. The superpowers tend
To come from either, it was accidental—like Spider-Man
Got bit by a spider and became Spider-Man.
Or there’s something that you really work at—
Like Batman becoming a ninja, essentially.
He’s been in years of effort to do that. Would you say your ability
With communication is sort of—where does that fall for you?
It’s a great question. I’ve never really thought about it,
But when you started talking about it,
I feel like it was something that I had
A natural inclination towards but
I definitely honed over the years.
I mean, I was a middle child, I had an older brother
And a younger brother. So I was the peacekeeper,
The dealmaker, the negotiator, even when we were little.
And so I’ve been doing this my whole life and
I just developed, I think, whether it was nature or nurture,
I feel like I had a little bit of both.
I feel like I had a little bit of both.
I was born with this ability to communicate.
And even sitting in middle school,
I remember sitting in an auditorium when we had a speaker,
And saying to myself, that would be awesome.
If you were onstage communicating and
People were listening and you had a cool story to tell,
That would be awesome. And my wife and I’ve talked about this,
She thinks everybody had that thought when they were
In middle school and the speaker came in,
And that’s possible. But I also believe that I was kind of given
A glimpse behind the curtain of what my future would look like,
But I needed to accomplish some things along the way.
That would give me the stories and the ability
To tell those stories in a way that was believable and
Useful for my audience. So I feel like it kind of set on early.
And then I spent years honing that.
Kind of reminds me of a I’m not sure why,
About a conversation I had with my wife the other day.
We were at McDonald’s because we were just
In a hurry to get some stuff and a group of young teenagers
Came in on their skateboards, or scooters whatever they call them.
And one of the kids was clearly the leader of the pack, so to speak,
And was describing all of his various adventures
With his friends with curse words. And I don’t particularly
Have a problem with curse words one way or the other.
But what cracked me up about that I was
You haven’t earned them yet.
You haven’t earned those curse words yet until –
When when my wife says the F word. She’s pushed four children
Out of her genitals, she’s earned that.
You have the ability to use those.
You like you haven’t earned it yet. So in the same light,
You want to be a public speaker, but you had to go through
Some of the things to earn the stories, to get up
And actually share and have the credibility and stuff like that.
Because unless you do something cool at 14 years old you probably,
You don’t have the stories, you haven’t earned it yet.
And the place out there to speak and teach.
So sort of my my follow on question to that
About superpowers is when it comes to communication
Specifically, I know you’re in the game of teaching
Other people how to communicaate. And I’m curious, do you think communication is something
And I’m curious, do you think communication is something
And I’m curious, do you think communication is something
Other people how to communicate.
That is getting good at communication is something
That’s available to everyone whether or not
They possess the natural talent, that you or I
Might have been born with and we’ve honed.
But if they come , if they’re coming to
The game with nothing and completely introverted and
Don’t talk to people ever, is it something that
They can hone and build and learn and become great at?
I think everyone can improve. I don’t think that
It would be fair to take a really introverted person who
Functions well in a one on one environment and
Put them onto a stage. I think that would
Set them up for failure. And that’s really not how they’re wired.
But I think we can all improve our communication.
And so regardless of where you’re starting from,
You can do some things to get better.
The ultimate goal doesn’t have to be a stage.
The ultimate goal may be just a cocktail party or
A get together with friends where
You’re not so non-communicative,
That you’re seen as standoffish and stuck up
Or just plain weird because sometimes we judge people
In these social environments. So your communication
Can be improved to where you can function
In larger environments. And like I said,
I don’t think it has to be a stage for profit.
But anytime we improve our face-to-face communication,
It will have an impact on our wallet because
If we’re better communicators at work, even through an email,
If we’re better at sending an email, then we’re going
To be promoted more likely than somebody who’s just not.
Absolutely. I agree with that,
Pretty much all the way through and I know for me,
I grew up introverted. That’s my natural inclination.
Spending time around people will wear me out.
And I remember in high school thinking to myself that
If I ever wanted to have influence, I needed to learn
How to talk to people. So I started taking notes and
Trying to get better at it. And over the course of the last 20 years,
Gotten pretty good at it. So I think it is something that
Trying to get better at it, and over the course of the last 20 years,
You can hone even if it’s not a natural skill. But to get to the point
Where if you’re like me and wanting to speak on stages.
I went through Preacher Training and stuff like that,
And spoken in front of thousands of people.
I don’t think most people want to do that.
But I’m a crazy person.
For people like us, the beauty of the fact that most people
Don’t want to do that is the people who do and are good at it
Get paid very well. And so because it scares
The heck out of most people, and most people is—
Their number one fear is public speaking.
Those of us that do it for a living make a good living at it.
And that’s the truth with anything.
I can’t do heart surgery.
The people that do heart surgery, get paid a lot of money,
And they should, because not everybody can do that.
They say the fear of public speaking is feared worse than death,
By something like 60% of the population.
Yes. So the old Seinfeld joke is at a funeral most people
Would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.
That’s what Jerry says about that.
I have, for whatever reason, been given the totem
In my family as a speaker for the dead.
And every time we’ve had someone passed away in the family,
They’re like, “You’re the one who gives the eulogy
Because you do it so well.” I’m like, “Thanks. That’s the torch I wanted.”
So, the other side of a superpower is the fatal flaw.
And I want to think about this in terms of growing your business.
When it comes to getting speaking career, speaking engagements,
Or working with clients, managing the actual
Day-to-day of your business. Superman has his kryptonite.
What is it that has held you back, growing your business.
And managing it well, and how have you worked on that
To improve it for other people who might struggle
With something similar.
It’s a good question. And it’s something that
I’ve really recently been digging into and so the answer
Is pretty clear to me. And it’s going to sound weird
Based on our earlier conversations. My kryptonite is kind of
Cropped up, being social media. I love it. I’m good at it.
I teach people about it, but it sucks more time off my day
Than anything else I do. I get sucked into the Facebook vortex
Where I start looking for conversations to engage in
Because I’m very extroverted.
And so social media is made for a guy like me
That wants to connect with a lot of people.
At the same time, it keeps me from
The money-making part of my job. And I say that with knowing
That social media is part of my platform and it’s part of
What allows me to do what I do. I connect with clients
And customers alike on social media.
But also when there’s a hard task to be done,
I find myself on Facebook or on Twitter or On Instagram,
And I’m not getting done the work that I need to get done.
And so my ability to communicate through social media
Can be used to help a lot of people.
But it can also be used as a very convenient distraction
From the real work that I need to get done that day.
So how have you been working on managing that
And improving that for your business?
So I have started scheduling my social media time and
Using it in more concentrated doses instead of
Wasting a ton of time, an hour at a time on social media.
I set my own Screen Time on my phone, for social media.
I get 2 hours. I give my daughter two hours.
My 14-year old two hours because the brain research says
Past two hours of social media, especially for teenagers
Is when you start seeing the anxiety and depression.
And that came out from the American Academy of Pediatrics.
So if those doctors have started figuring this out and
Saying two hours is enough, then my phone sends me
A reminder when I’m approaching the two hour threshold.
Now, that being said, I can override mine with
One or two button clicks, she cannot. She has to request
More screen time from me. But for me, it’s just a reminder saying,
“Hey, you’ve wasted enough time on this, right now.
Let’s get busy on some real work.” And most days,
I don’t reach that two hour mark. But also,
When I’m sitting down at my iMac working on a presentation
Or emailing clients. It’s not uncommon to have
The Facebook tab open. And when a notification
Pops up on there, I jump right over there and see what’s happening.
And I’ve started minimizing or closing that window,
And just keeping open the windows that I need open
So that I’m not as distracted. Social media on my phone
Doesn’t give me push notifications that are audible.
They just show up on the phone next time I pick it up
So I’m not completely distracted by audible notifications
Coming through. So you just find ways to throttle that back
So that you can get the deep work done.
Have you thought about doing things with social media to,
Like having specific goals with your social media.
I’m looking to either connect with certain people or engage
In certain types of conversations and using it like
Specific things that you want to accomplish in your business
Instead of just being a time suck, where it’s actual constructive things like
If I’m going to go on Instagram I’m looking for— I don’t use
Instagram much. But I’m looking to connect with three
Or four different people. I want to engage in a couple of
Different conversations. And it’s like a task list.
Have you thought about that at all?
Or is it something you’ve been?
I haven’t honestly and it’s a great idea. And it’s something
I will look into for Facebook, in particular,
One of the things that I have on there is a Facebook page
Called Side Gig and it’s basically a page of people
Designed to support other people who are growing or
Launching a side hustle; a side gig. And I connect on there
At least once a day, and sometimes I’ll throw a challenge out,
Ask a question to try to connect and build that community.
Because the problem with social media, as much as I love it,
Is it’s our highlight reel. And Jon Acuff always says,
It allows us to compare our behind the scenes to someone else’s
Highlight reel. And so the Side Gig community,
Being a private Facebook group, allows people
To just say things like, “You know what? Today I tied my shoes.
And that’s really all I’ve accomplished today.”
And other people chime in and say, been there done that.
This is what I did. Or here’s a video that is just a rough draft.
Could you look at it, give me your feedback?
Tell me what you think? It’s not a video I would share
With my Facebook community, but it’s one that I can share
With 300 plus of my closest Side Gig members
And get some feedback. So it’s kind of an uncurated type of thing.
I know you’re not very familiar with Instagram.
Most teenagers have on Instagram, what they call a spam account,
Which is linked loosely to them. And I love people’s spam accounts
Because it is the real unfiltered them. Most 14-15 year olds
When they’re posting something on their real Instagram,
They’ll take two, three hours of filter work,
Finding the right quote on Pinterest,
Crowdsourcing it to their friends. They’ll say,
These are the things I’m -, the captions I’m thinking about using
And it’s a process, the spam-
The Spam is, here’s a shot of me without makeup
With my friends doing something stupid
And it’s a real snapshot of their life.
And somewhere between spam and the real Instagram
Is the real person. And so, the Side Gig community is just a place
To be real without the whole world watching.
What’s interesting to me is I’ve read some stuff
On that whole phenomenon, particularly that Instagram
And Facebook and Groups and TikTok and Snapchat,
The reason things are growing and picking up with
Different generations are slightly – it’s different.
So our generation, our parents generation,
Tend to like Facebook and Facebook’s News Feed
Because of, and I don’t know how true this is,
But this is from outside sources because
We used to take pictures and save them in photo albums.
And then when people would come over,
We’d show them to people.
So like the whole timeline idea. And like having a News Feed
Is very appealing to us in our generation and
The generation before us because it’s all the stuff that
We would have done in the analog world,
Just like digital and connected everyone immediately.
But the younger generation, the older millennial generation
And the generation Z tend to not care as much.
Because that’s always been a thing and as far as they’re concerned,
Everything they ever do is always available.
So they have a different like mentality with it.
So things like Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok and whatnot
Where they’re interested in sharing moments, like live moments
Right now with other people, with either their group of friends
Or people that are farther away from them.
And it’s more like living together digitally instead of
Having a chronological or having an album of their life
Because they don’t care, because everything’s always recorded.
So it’s just interesting to see how that interacts,
Which is probably one of the reasons why
I tend to use Facebook more than Instagram.
Just because, generationally, it fits better with
The way I think about the world. But at the same token,
You still need to understand how other people are
Using those things, especially as someone who’s
A communicator or a digital marketer, like where the strengths are
And why people are using them. So it’s really fascinating.
And I think this curated aspect of social media
Is what has allowed Snapchat to gain some purchases
Because they don’t stick around unless you want them to
As a story for 24 hours. They don’t – Snapchat is here and gone.
But the problem is our students and one of the things I tell them
In the assembly is they actually believe that their Snap is deleted.
And I tell them, I can take your phone to our state crime lab,
Plug it up to a computer, and within five minutes recover
Almost every Snap you’ve sent or received.
Because they’re not deleted, they’re still on the device.
They’re saved on the device, they just can’t see them.
And so they believe once it’s gone, it’ll never show back up again.
But about four years ago, Snapchat released that
They had been hacked and that somebody had been recording
Every Snap ever sent or received and was threatening
To make it searchable as a database by username,
Which to me screams online piracy. They’ve been –
They’ve had somebody that had pirated their stuff
Was wanting paid. And the fact that it went away tells me
That probably Snapchat paid them got access back
To their servers and secured everything back down again.
But I tell students sometimes about that,
Because anything you put on the World Wide Web,
The world can potentially see.
And we have to use it through that filter.
I tell them, you could be text messaging a friend,
And you could say something about another friend,
And they can screenshot that text and either upload it
To Instagram or send it to that other friend.
And we’re creating a record through the World Wide Web.
So let’s use it responsibly and let’s use that
As a filter, that before I send this snap,
Before I send this post, this is the World Wide Web.
And would I be okay if the world saw this?
I actually say that exact same thing
To my son on a regular basis. And I was like, “If you say it on –
Say it anywhere on any digital device in any way.”
The whole world is capable of knowing about it.
So if you don’t want grandma to see it.
That’s exactly right. Grandma’s a great filter.
If you don’t want grandma to see your dick pics
Don’t be taking them and send them to people.
Exactly. Miss Volet was a lady who lived across the street
From my mom until a couple years ago.
And she was a hundred years old, lived in a house by herself.
And I was over there one day and I look in the corner
And her computer was on and Facebook was pulled up.
And I said, “Miss violet,” I said, “Is your great grandkids
Been over here on Facebook?” Because when you’re a 100,
Your great grand kids are like 40 ish.
And she says, “No.” I said, “Well, Facebook is pulled up.”
She said, “Honey, that’s my facebook account.”
And so then, my mind is blown. This lady is a 100 years old.
She has a Facebook account. So I said,
“Violet, why do you have a Facebook account?”
And she said, “Because I live by myself. It allows me
To see pictures of my kids, my grandkids, my great grandkids,
Hear updates about their day.”
She goes, “It’s like I don’t live by myself anymore.”
And then I asked her, I said, “Have you ever seen
Something that one of your family members posted,
You didn’t like?” She like, “Oh, yeah.”
I said, “So what do you do?” She goes, “Next time they came to visit,
I grabbed him by an ear. And I walked him to the couch
And set him down. And we had a talk.” And I’ve never forget
The fact that she was policing at a 100 years old for her family,
And I don’t want Miss violet grabbing my ear.
We just, every time we post we need to think,
If our grandparents saw this, our pastor saw this
If her boss saw this, how many people have lost their jobs
Because they tweeted from their personal account,
When there really is no break anymore between
Your personal account and your work account.
It’s a question of integrity.
And you have to and nowadays, my understanding,
I haven’t been in the job market for a long time.
But that potential interviews they’ll actually look
At your social media, your personal stuff and see what you do
On the weekends. Are you the kind of kind of guy
Whose partying and doing drugs and getting drunk
Because as far as they’re concerned, that reflects
On their reputation for the type of people that they’re hiring.
It does. And universities are checking applicants,
Student applicants, on social media because
Let’s think from their perspective, if I get on your Instagram,
And it shows you’re getting drunk every weekend,
While you live at home with your parents.
Why would I want you living in my dorm unsupervised?
So that when you overdose on alcohol,
It says University of whatever, freshman overdoses on alcohol.
That’s publicity I don’t need for my university.
So I’m going to pass on you.
It’s not an invasion.
Crazy. Because you put it up publicly on the world?
So we live in an insane world, I don’t think we’ve even
Come to terms with the impact that all this stuff is having.
And how it’s just sort of changing the social fabric of our world.
And I think we’re just figuring it out as we go along,
Which is the same thing every generation before us is doing right.
When it was the phone and radio and television, whatnot.
It’s just happening faster now and at a larger degree.
So it’s really interesting.
So, I want to talk a little bit about your common enemy.
And so common enemy, I like to think of this
In terms of your clients. So you have and maybe particularly for you,
The corporate clients that you work with.
When they hire you on and bring you on to teach communication
Or teach the hostage negotiation. There’s probably something
That you have that you run into regularly.
Something that’s holding them back as an organization
Or holding them back from understanding
And getting really great results from the things you teach them.
Something that you sort of have to fight against constantly.
What is that and if you could wave a magic wand
And just remove it, so that you get
Much greater results as organization,
What would that what would that thing be?
To me, the biggest thing that gets in the way of
Communication from a corporate standpoint is fear.
They’re afraid of how their communication
Is going to be perceived. And so because of that fear,
They end up shutting down communication,
Which plays into what they’re most afraid of, which is fear.
When communication shuts down in an organization.
Everybody freaks out because everybody is trying to piece together
Why in the world, what is so bad
That we’ve shut down communication?
Is that internal communication with the organization
Or their customer like outside.
Both. Fom an employee standpoint,
If my boss is no longer talking to me or about a topic
That I know is coming up, I start freaking out.
If I’m a customer of a business and they have
Shut down communications and I can’t get through,
Or they won’t talk to me or they’re no longer sending me emails,
I start thinking that this business must be going under.
When maybe they are just afraid of whatever.
Maybe they messed up. Newsflash, everybody messes up everyday.
And if we’re not the ones to tell the story, then someone will
Step in and tell that story. From a communication standpoint,
When I was the Public Information Officer,
I would always call this the Redneck report
Because if we weren’t as a police department
Giving the information to the media,
They had to run the story anyways. So they would go interview
The guy that’s sitting on his front porch without a shirt on.
He can’t be bothered to put a shirt on
To be interviewed on the news, but yet he’s seen the whole thing.
And he’ll tell him all about it, even though
Maybe he wasn’t even outside at the time.
And now, as a police department,
When we start releasing information,
We have to undo that we have to undo
That lie that’s already been told.
Ferguson, Missouri was a hot mess when that first broke,
When that shooting happened and the riots happened.
And largely because, in my opinion, the police department
Waited 24 hours before they said anything.
Because in the police world, we used to be afraid of
Tampering a jury or that kind of stuff. Well, what we found
Is the jury was already tampered for 24 hours with misinformation.
And so you can’t say everything when something messes up
At your company. You can’t say everything.
But you can absolutely say something.
I mean, I’ve done five minute interviews
For the police department with the news
Over a juvenile situation in a school
That we’re not legally allowed to talk about.
And so when I’m on the news, I’m saying things like,
“We take threats to our school very seriously.
We investigate every threat and we make sure we get
To the bottom of… We make sure our students are safe
Everyday in our schools. I never once mentioned
What was happening, who was the suspect,
How serious it was. I just was the one giving the story
To the news. And I would tell them,
As soon as we’re able to tell you more, we will.
But this is an active investigation,
And we’re working on it. And that tells the average citizen,
“The police department is on top of this.
They’re working this.” So, let’s put that
In the corporate world. Our product messes up
Or our system shuts down or something.
We’ve got to get out there immediately
And say, “We’re experiencing some issues.
This is embarrassing. And so we have every resource
We have allocated to fixing this.
And as soon as it’s fixing, we will do everything
We can to make this up to our clients.”
I don’t have to tell you what happened
Or whose fault it is. I don’t have to blame anybody.
But I do need to be out there saying, “You know what,
We’ve really messed up and we’re fixing it.
And we’re sorry.” Instead of shutting down
Communication and then the customers are the ones
Giving the story about my company
Because the company is no longer talking.
And the customers when things shut down,
Are not happy customers. And so they’re getting the story
From somebody who doesn’t even know what happened.
But they’re really pissed off about it.
And so they’re giving a good interview,
Because nothing leads, like somebody who’s really angry.
And but they’re not giving what I want them to be giving.
And so as a company, fear cannot keep us from communicating ever.
And what’s interesting too
Is your existing customers are probably
Some of the most forgiving people.
And so if you take the time to say, “Hey,” immediately,
“Something has gone wrong, we’re working on it.”
They will give you the benefit of the doubt
And if you are curious about that,
Think about how that’s happened in your life
With the companies that you’ve worked with.
I got a couple of companies that are big time companies.
We work with, I work with a hosting company.
I get a lot of client websites that are hosted,
And they have a server status page and everything.
When something happened. What was it not last October
But the October before that there was a big DDoS attack
That was an international attack from China
Or Russia or something like that
On the American internet. And it shut down half
Of the internet in the US, all across
The eastern seaboard. And it was just humongous
DDoS attack that brought down a lot of big companies
Websites, Facebook, and Amazon.
A lot of my clients websites, they’re smaller time people.
Or 1000 visitors a day they’re spending money on advertising
They get a 100 or 200 or 300 visitors a day
And spending a couple grand a day on advertising.
Their websites going down isn’t a good thing.
So, the Web Host immediately reached out
To everyone who had their stuff and was like,
“We’re under attack right now, here’s what’s going on,
Here’s what we’re doing to defend it.
Here’s how we’re going to make sure
Everything goes back up. We expect to have this resolved
In within two to three hours if things go as planned.
It might take longer than that
It might be up to 10 hours.”
What that gave me it was like,
“I know these guys are handling it,
I know what the problem is.
I know it’s not something I can do anything about.
So I could just take their stuff and let all my clients know.”
And I wasn’t even upset about it,
Even though all of my stuff was down.
I had to go and interface with all my clients about that.
And it’s amazing how quickly just communicating
Makes it better even though the problem is still happening.
Best case scenario is they notified you with this
Before you even knew there was a problem.
From their standpoint, they’re so quick with communicating
That they actually are the ones that informed you
There was a problem because we don’t check
Our websites every minute of everday.
When it’s down we don’t know necessarily,
Until somebody lets us know. And, for you,
As a customer, there was probably some security
That they didn’t do that allowed some of this attack,
But you’re not even mad because they’re like,
“We’re aware or fixing it. And we’re going forward.”
There was a survey that came out
Not too long ago of hotels. And it was so interesting
To me because they surveyed people
That stayed in hotels, and they found if you stayed
In a hotel, and never had a single problem
While you were there. The stay went like you expected,
You rated it at about a seven. If you stayed at a hotel,
Had a problem that wasn’t corrected.
You were five and below. But if you stayed there
Had a problem and it was corrected by the hotel,
You’d rate them about an eight or nine.
Meaning if you had a problem that was fixed
You got a better rating
Than the people who never had a problem
In the first place. And so it just shows
That responsiveness is huge. I don’t expect
Anybody I work with to be perfect but I expect them
To admit when they mess up and then do everything
They can to fix what they’ve messed up.
And then I’m not even mad. I’m like, “Good job for you
Because I appreciate business.” And I know
That they learned something when they messed up
With me and they apologized, they fixed it.
And they go on about their business.
One of the things I coach clients on
With all my reviews is respond to every one of them,
Especially the bad reviews. You don’t respond
To the bad reviews because—you do want
To resolve things with that custome. The reason
You respond to a bad review in a positive light
And make… it publicly available
That here’s how we would like to resolve this.
Here’s where you can reach out to resolve this, is
For the other people who are going to come and see.
This is how you know things go down. It’s like your red flags
For consumers are when you’ve got all five-star reviews,
Or when you’ve got all one-star reviews.
If you’ve got 80% great reviews
And a couple of bad reviews that have “here’s how we tried
To resolve it” to that. That’s reality.
And people understand that. So you just have to work
In that world and really, respond well to that stuff.
Next thing we’ll talk about is your driving force.
Spider-Man fights to save New York,
Batman fights to save Gotham, or Google fights
To categorize all the world’s information for us.
Wh at is the thing that you fight for?
If you’re fighting against fear
And communication, what’s the thing that you fight for?
I think I just fight for honestness and openness.
Your honesty and openness because in today’s digital world,
Especially fake is kind of what people think.
It’s the default, people assume it’s fake.
So when you’re real, when you’re honest,
When you’re open; you stand out.
Apple support is a great example of this.
I have never called Apple support,
That they hasn’t been a regular human being
Who was sitting at their house,
You might even hear kids in the background.
And when I have an issue, and I say,
“This just happened to my laptop,”
And they say things like, “That really sucks, man.
I’m sorry, that happened. We’re going to fix this.”
They admit that sucks. They’re using my language.
They’re like, “Man, that I’m sorry that happened.
We’re going to fix this
And we’re going to make sure you’re good to go
By the time you leave here.” Instead of the people
That I talked to where, you’re calling the cable company
Or something and someone’s typing
Into the keyboard and they’re reading a script
To you. I don’t feel served by that
Because you’re not being authentic with me.
Be real with me. Be open with me.
Be honest with me, and I will do business with you everyday.
One of the things I’ve noticed too,
In our space, in the podcasting,
And in creating YouTube videos,
Whatever it is we’re communicating
To a larger audience of people, that the stuff
That gets engaged with the most is very honest.
It’s not like it has no production value.
But once you—there’s a production value
Beyond which you get that people no longer care.
They’re like, “Now you’re no longer authentic.”
And there’s like, “Your camera should probably be steady.
You should probably have good audio.
Your face should be lit up well,” but beyond that,
Once you start getting into like,
“It looks like you have a million dollar budget
For all of your videos. People will just shut me off.”
Because that’s not what they want. They want to see you.
They want to hear your kids in the background
A little bit maybe. There’s some authenticity
That is really getting people.
That’s what people are really getting into nowadays.
I think there’s—it’s almost like a backlash
Of the last 40 or 50 years of advertising
And marketing companies and you realize
That companies don’t exist. It’s just a group of people.
And we want to deal with the people
Who run the company, and deal with human beings.
So this phrase is people don’t leave companies;
People leave people. And the more human we are,
The less likely they’ll leave. If they do leave,
If it’s somebody that gripes and complains
And makes my life miserable
From a customer standpoint, if they do leave,
I’m not chasing them. Those aren’t my people,
Those one-star review people that I can’t ever make happy.
I’m gonna miss you, not really. You should probably go
Somewhere. I would never tell a customer like that.
But I’m not going to chase them either.
I’m not going to beat myself up over that one-star review
Because some people are just grumpy.
Absolutely. And to your point, Apple’s a great model
For that. Everything from their big corporate presentations
They do. They just did their big one for their iPhone,
They bring out people and he listened to people
Tell stories and their marketing is, almost always,
Stories of their customers. The ad
They did this last time that got a whole bunch
Of playing stuff in the media was
The Apple Watch saving people’s lives.
And changing lives because they get it. They get it
That it’s about people. So it’s really fascinating
To see how the preponderance of communication
We have available to us and what’s coming back down
To what—we have access
To all the communication abilities in the world;
The ability to tell a story one to another
And talk to each other is really it’s a key
That holds it all together. So I’ll move on.
I got a couple more questions here in the interview.
This one should be fairly simple.
It’s your heroes tool belt.
Maybe have a big magical hammer like Thor
Or one of the things I say regularly on the show
Or maybe you have a bulletproof vest
Like your neighborhood police officer,
Which I’m sure you’ve actually probably saw.
Or maybe you just really love how Evernote helps you
Organize your thoughts or how you build killer slides
And Keynote or something like that.
What are some of the actual tools you use
To make your business go round?
That’s a great question. I facilitate a Mastermind
As part of what I do, but I’m also a member
Of a paid Mastermind. And a Mastermind to me,
Is a place where people talk about you work
From home now that must be awesome.
It is great and I love it, but at the same time,
There’s a dark side to that too, meaning it’s me and
My dog pretty much all day, everyday.
He doesn’t really care what I do as long as I feed him
And let him out. He doesn’t bounce ideas off of me.
I don’t bounce ideas off of him. He doesn’t know
What I accomplished during a day.
He doesn’t care.
Bounce a ball forward. That’s about it.
Maybe he’s pretty lazy.
So not much of that. But the Mastermind
Gives me a group of co-workers, a group
Of like an executive board where every week
When I meet with them, they’re going to ask me,
“What did you do this week? What’d you accomplish?”
At the end of the call, it’s, “What are you going
To be working on? What do you need to get done
Between now and next week?
What are your goals?” And just having those people there
That are sharing ideas. The people
That would be around the water cooler of a normal business
That’s generating ideas, brainstorming,
Holding each other accountable, checking in
On your family, that’s what the Mastermind becomes.
And it’s not one single person, it’s the group dynamic
That allows that to happen. And so, the Mastermind
To me, even though I facilitate one,
The reason I’m a paid member of one
Is because I approached the one that I’m a facilitator
For differently. I produce content, I bring content to it,
I make sure people are participating.
I’m tracking everybody else’s goals, the one
That I’m a paid member of, and I just show up,
And I connect with people there, and I gain—I pull
From that mastermind, instead of pushing into it,
Like the one that I facilitate. So the mastermind is a good thing.
I actually have a similar one
That I’m involved in. It’s the same thing for me.
I call him my entrepreneurial brothers and sisters.
Sit around at the dinner table and tell each other
All the things that you did wrong at school today
That kind of thing. And we’ve got people
In that group that are farther ahead than me.
People that are just a little bit behind me
Or something like that in terms of where we’re going
And how we’re getting there.
One of the ladies in that group, I tell her all the time,
She’s like my big sister CEO
Because she’s just a little further down the path.
And every time I come into problem, I’m like,
“I don’t know what to do here with my employee,
Or I don’t know what to do with this thing here.”
Until I’ve got some I can bounce ideas off of
And talk to. My business probably grown
More since getting into a Mastermind like that,
Than it has on the entire 10 years previously.
So, a huge tool. If you’re listening to this,
And you don’t have a mastermind;
Definitely find a group of people that you can do that with.
Do you have a recommendation
For what to look for? If you’re looking for that kind
Of mastermind for your business? Some…listening to this?
I think that to me there are a lot of free masterminds,
And there are masterminds that you’ll pay $50,000
A year to be a member of.
It just depends on what you’re looking forward.
To me the free mastermind.
If something’s doesn’t cost me money;
I don’t take it seriously. And I don’t really apply myself to it.
But if I’m paying for something that I’m going
To make sure that I’m there at each meeting,
I’m going to make sure I participate. I’m going to take notes.
I’m going to get things done
Because I’ve paid to be here.
To me whether you’re paying $50,000 a year,
Or you’re paying 1200 dollars a year for $100 a month,
Whatever it is, you’re paying, if you have skin
In the game, you come at it differently.
I would like you said, have people
Who are slightly ahead of me and slightly behind me
In the group. You don’t want somebody
Who’s making multiple, seven figures when
You’re just starting out, because that person
Is going to frustrate you. They’re not going
To necessarily remember what it was like
To be starting out. You’re going to frustrate them.
And so having people that are really similar
To where you are in life is a good thing to look for as well.
What’s interesting too, is one of the things I’ve noticed
And particularly if you do have skin in the game
Is whether or not you have skin in the game.
To realize that the skin in the game is just for you.
It’s to get you to show up,
But you have to treat it like a family dinner.
These are real people who have real problems,
And you have to be there as much for them
As they are for you. Treated like blood
Which is you have to sort of mentally separate that
From: this isn’t just a business transaction;
It’s a life thing. So, I don’t know how to say that,
Clearly. But hopefully that makes sense.
That’s true. If you go into it,
Looking to get something out of it,
Then I think you’re coming at it the wrong way.
If you go into it looking to contribute,
Because when I was in the DARE classroom,
What I loved was when a higher functioning student
Would naturally partner with a lower functioning student,
And they would help them. The reason I loved it is
Because if they’re higher functioning,
There’s a good chance they’re getting bored
In the classroom. And when they start teaching it
To somebody else, they learn it in a new way.
It kicks their level of thinking up to a higher level,
And their peer helping somebody else,
Get the content that I can’t help each
Individual student who might be struggling
With the content. And so anytime you’re teaching
Somebody, you’re learning it in a new way.
“I’m going to come and I’m going to not look
And so if you bring that to a Mastermind, and you say,
To get from this, but look to give to it,”
You can’t help but get in the process.
Absolutely, it’s like my one of the things we do
With our homeschool, with the kids.
My oldest teaches the youngest
And teaches the younger ones on things
That they’re learning. My five year old, right now,
Is learning to read and we’re having my older one
Sit down and actually do the reading practice with her.
Because a) he needs reading practice
And b) the more he teaches the better he gets at it himself.
And so we’re doing that whenever we can.
And whenever it makes sense to, and all the way down
To, right now, my five year old is teaching
My three year old her colors. And she’s in the process
Of learning how to write and spell her colors.
So, in the process, she’s sitting down with a three year old
And they’re like, “This one’s blue,”
And she’s going to write it out and they’re going
To color blue together, whatnot. So, they’re playing together.
And it turns it for them. Now, it’s a game
Instead of just school. It’s interesting
How those kind of things, they apply
All the way up into multi-million dollar Masterminds.
So, find someone in the group
You can help them with their colors,
And find someone who can help you learn
To read that kind of thing.
That’s what you’re looking for in that space.
Music is by https://purpleplanet.com/
I want to talk a little bit about your own personal heroes.
Frodo had Gandalf. Luke had Obi Wan Kanobi.
Robert Kiyosaki had his Rich Dad.
Who were some of your heroes?
Were they real life mentors? Were they speakers
Or authors? Peers who were just few years ahead
Of you? And how important were they
To what you’ve accomplished so far in your speaking career?
You know as a speaker, there’s a few people
That I kind of look to for guidance.
One of them that my wife, jokingly calls
Kind of my man crush is Jon Acuff. Read everything
That guy’s ever written. Attended two or three
Of his conferences. Took his online courses
Because he just he’s so relatable to me.
He’s a dad with two daughters.
He’s further down the road that I’m trying to travel.
And with that being said, when I took one of his online courses,
They got me to, like 30 minute calls with him
As part of this course. And when I was talking
To him about speaking, on one of these calls, he said,
“Listen, I’m going to be in Louisville, Kentucky, next week,”
He said, “How close is that to you?”
I said, “I can be there in 90 minutes.” He said,
“Well, I’m speaking at 10 that morning.
If you want to meet for coffee, I’d love to meet with you.”
So he and I sat for like an hour at his hotel, had coffee.
And he then invited me to come
To his speaking engagement for a group of oral hygienists.
And I don’t know why he was speaking to oral hygeinists.
He speaks to everybody. He said to me,
“If you want to stick around, you can be my guest
To this. And then we can talk afterwards, again.”
Unfortunately, my oldest daughter was getting ready
To graduate high school and we had a party
At our house that day. And I said,
“I’ve got to get back home, family’s got to come first.”
But the reason I bring that story up is he’s somebody
Who would probably know my name if he heard it.
But we’re not friends-friends. But he took time out of his day,
When he could have been sitting in his room
Getting ready for his talk. Instead, he sat in the lobby
Of his hotel and drank coffee with somebody
Who he saw an opportunity to help for free
Because I didn’t pay him for that time.
And that’s what I want to do with my business.
I want to help people and I want to serve people.
And I just want people to to be comfortable
Being around me. Because when that happens
When he comes out with another book
Or another course, I’m going to buy it
Because he’s a regular dude who’s real and authentic
Everything we’ve talked about, and I just connect well
With him, and I want people to connect with me
In such a way that they feel like I’m being authentic.
And that when I do come out with a book
Or a product, that they’re one of the first people in line.
Absolutely. I got people like that in my life too.
One of the guys that I’m actually in a Mastermind with now,
I spent years buying everything he put out
And communicating with them. And just letting them know
My success that I had with his products
And eventually turned about. We’re in a Mastermind
And he’s become a client of mine.
Together now, one of his masterminds,
And we actually exchange services back and forth.
So it’s cool to have people like that, that are in your life.
Last thing I want to do here on the show
Is sort of bring it home for our listeners.
Talk about your guiding principles,
Whether the top one or two principles
Or actions that you use regularly on a daily basis
That you think contribute to the success
And influence that you enjoy today.
Maybe something you wish you’d known
When you started out in your current career.
For me, one of the guiding principles
Of my business is—sounds funny to say it’s my business—
But it’s always been family comes first.
And I know that you know enough of your story
To know that’s kind of your story as well
That your family’s very important to what you do.
But it can’t just be something we talk about.
When I worked for the police department
When I supervised officers. They knew
If there was an issue at home, that’s where they needed
To be and we’ll cover for you. We’ll make things happen.
We’ll get you there because family comes first.
When their kids were graduating high school,
I supervise School Resource Officers,
So they worked every high school graduation.
But if they had a kid walking across the stage,
They were in the audience, not in uniform.
They were just a dad and we picked up the slack.
And now that I work for myself,
When I work for myself as an entrepreneur
And I set my own schedule, family has to come first.
And there are times where that gets tested.
I got accepted to speak at the National Conference
On bullying which in my world, that’s a really big deal.
It was in Orlando, Florida. When they emailed me and said,
“You’ve been selected, here’s your next step was
What you need to do is get booked.”
It was the same night as my youngest daughter’s
Eighth grade volleyball night
Where she would walk across the floor
With her parents; be introduced. And all of the fanfare
Of your final home game as an eighth grader.
And I had to look at the business and say
The business could really use the exposure
That a national conference will give me
Because these people that are attending are the ones
Who had booked me to come to their schools.
But at the same time, she’s only an eighth grader
Walking across the court one time. And so
I had to email them and say, “I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to pass.
Please keep me in mind for their future ones.”
And they said, “We understand but you’ll have to reapply.”
So you just have to have times like that
Where you say, “If the business closes down today;
The family is still here.” And I want to—
As I’ve got a daughter in college, it becomes very real.
Your time with them is finite. And there’s going to come
A time very soon where it’s just my wife and I.
I’m looking forward to that day.
But that will also allow us more flexibility.
Jon Acuff thing he’s pushing right now is he’s five years
From being an empty nester. And he said, his wife,
Jenny, will travel with him a lot
When he’s an empty nester. He said,
“But right now we’re apart.” And that’s kind
Of where we are. My wife plans on doing a lot
Of traveling with me when our youngest graduates
In four years. And right now it’s a season
Where family has to take care of family.
And I can’t always go and do all the things
I want to do, which is why I have started coaching
And podcasting and all the things that I can do
From home. Because speaking is great,
But speaking is hard to scale because it requires travel.
I don’t want to be on the road all day, everyday.
We have some similar things going on.
We travel full time. I’m in an RV right now.
My kids are up front, but the—to the point of
We don’t have much time with them.
We just had our fourth kid and she is six months old now
And we’ve decided that’s the last kid
We’re going to have. We can’t have any more kids
At this point. And every time she hits a milestone,
It keeps coming out of my head. How this is the last time
We’re going to get to see this or enjoy this.
The next time that we get to have this
Is going to be with grandchildren.
That’s probably a good 20 years down the road.
Maybe sooner than that,
Depending on how responsible in life my oldest one is.
It’s a part of life is that you don’t have a lot of times.
You really have to decide what your priorities are.
I know, 10 years ago, my business, one of the things
I told my wife was, I particularly I want to be capable
Of having lunch with my kids everyday.
And it was particularly lunch
Because a lot of dads get the opportunity to have breakfast
And or dinner with their kids. But very few get to have lunch
With their kids on a regular basis. And at this point,
Ten years into my business, I can say
If I have a business thing that happens over lunch,
Which has happened a number of times,
Over the last couple of years, my kids are like,
“Well, that’s weird, Dad’s not home for lunch,” kind of thing.
And because I worked from home, I’m always here for that.
I’ve gotten to see every milestone all my kids have gone through.
Been home for it, which is, that’s the reason
I built my business the way that I did.
Because that was the thing that I wanted to have.
I can totally get that idea of knowing your guiding principles.
Who your family is, and I love
That you guys are the police officers.
The police department would do that.
Your kids walking across the stage not in uniform.
You’re a dad, and you pick up the slack. I like that.
And I like thinking about that, I only have a couple
Of staff members on my team. But last week,
One of them, their kid was in the hospital
With fever and I was like, “Do what you need to do.
We’ll figure it out.” And that’s the way I want all
Of my employees as my business grows.
To have that same mentality that their family
And their business comes before my business.
That basically wraps up the interview.
I got one last thing I do on the show,
Something really simple. We call it the HERO challenge.
HERO challenge is do you have someone in your life
Or in your network who you think has a really cool
Entrepreneurial story that you could introduce to us
That you think should come on and share their story?
Who are they? First names are fine and why do you think
They should come share their story on The HERO Show?
It’s a great question. And I’ve actually, I’ve had this guy
That immediately came to mind when you asked this.
I’ve had him on my podcast. His name is Irvin.
And he lives in California, actually in Los Angeles.
And I met Irvin through a conference
That we attended together,
Even though we didn’t see each other
At that conference. On the Facebook page
For the conference we connected. And Irvin,
The reason he was on my podcast is he had every reason
To be a victim in the world. He grew up in the inner city
LA where there was gangs and drugs
And he was dealing drugs at the age of 13.
He lost his job as an adult and couldn’t get another job
Because he was lacking the degrees necessary.
And so he just went in business for himself. He hired himself
And he’s out there hustling, teaching in businesses,
With an organization he founded called Reach Leadership.
And he was doing graffiti as a teenager,
And he’s now doing graphic design.
His own graphic design work. It’s beautiful
Graphic design work and he is somebody who by all intents
And purposes should be sitting somewhere collecting a check.
And instead he’s out hustling everyday.
Making connections with people. Serving people.
And it’s just exciting to watch his business take off.
That’s really cool. Thanks. So what we’ll do
Is we’ll reach out later so we can get connected
With Irivin. Last thing is thank you so much
For coming on the show, Scott.
It’s been really a pleasure speaking with you.
Where can people find you if they want to listen
To your podcast? Or if they are an organization
And then I guess more importantly, who are the right fits?
Looking to hire you for speaking, where can they find that?
Who should reach out and ask you to come speak?
Great question. The podcast is
The Speaking of Harvey Podcast, it’s on iTunes.
And then people can reach me
At my website, https://speakingofharvey.com/
There’s a Contact Scott tab on there.
They can get a hold of me, directly. The people that I work with,
Mostly are schools, especially middle and high schools,
Public, private, doesn’t matter to me.
From a corporate standpoint, any type of sales,
Any type of organization that requires communication,
Because that’s what I specialize in.
I can teach active listening, things like that,
That’s going to make our organization more human
And stand out. So sales, executive development,
Inter-office trainings, I do some of those.
Anywhere where communication is going to be needed
Is where I can jump in and help out.
So it’s speaking of https://speakingofharvey.com/
Where they can reach out to you, and if you’re listening
To the show, and if you run a school or you need someone
To come in and talk about bullying and communication.
Obviously, Scott knows a thing or two about that.
Or if you’re running a corporate organization
And want to get communication notched up,
Definitely take the time to reach out to Scott.
It’s been really fascinating to just listen to you
And speak with you, today. Thank you again
For coming on the show. Do you have any final thoughts
For our listeners before we wrap up the recording?
I’m just excited to be here.
I’m excited about what you’re doing
And I appreciate you asking me to be on here.
Awesome. Thank you very much. Have a good day, guys.
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Pick your copy of my new masterclass today and learn the EXACT strategies that I personally use to build sales webinars that have sold more than $786,976 worth of online courses and coaching just in the last year.
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